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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So annoyed with my neighbours what should I do when I see them?

281 replies

geekygardener · 27/10/2025 13:36

Every week I’m taking in parcels for a neighbour. I don’t mind the occasional one, but it can fluctuate between a couple a week to a few daily. They order a lot of stuff and are never in to receive it. I don’t know why they don’t order it to their family who live on the next street or to one of their work places. This has been going on for a number of years.
I wouldn’t mind if I’m in just pottering at home, but I often work from home and my office is next to my front door. This means delivery drivers can see I’m in sat at my desk. They will continue to knock and wait even if I don’t initially answer because I’m in a meeting or call. People on the other end of my calls can clearly hear the knocking and dog barking, so I have to cut off. It’s unprofessional, especially because I take calls from people in distress. It’s unfair to cut them off.

I have told multiple delivery drivers that I am working and can no longer take in parcels for neighbours but that seems to have made little difference.
I work nights too and I’m woken up at least three times a week by deliveries for the same neighbours and it really affects my mood.

Today I was resting after a night shift and knocking woke me. Teen dd opened the door but then came running up telling me it was a large delivery for the neighbours and the delivery driver said he needed an adult to take it. Plus it was too large and heavy for dd to take in alone. This is not the first time we have taken in packages that have been large and heavy. I had one neighbour’s wardrobe and bedside table blocking my hallway for over a week while they were on holiday.
I just lost my temper because of being woken and I gabbed the parcel said “fine” and slammed the door. The delivery driver looked shocked, I do feel guilty about that but I was just fed up. I then just sat back down and no more than 2 minutes later another delivery driver knocked with another parcel for neighbours. Dd answered again and shouted out to me that he required an adult again, I couldn’t believe it. It was a different delivery company and driver but I shouted back for her to tell them no. They handed it to her anyway and she brought it to the hallway.

I can honestly say if it was the odd occasion that’s fine and I’d be a good neighbour and take them in happily. But this is multiple times a week, often multiple times a day and is disturbing my work and rest,

I did mention it to neighbour, who is the main culprit, he just laughs and says he understands it’s annoying, but it keeps happening.

Im now left with a large heavy box in my tiny hallway. I also feel like I can’t relax because soon neighbour will come knocking on my door to collect it. So if I wanted to go back to sleep I would be woken again. I looked across and the neighbour is actually in ! Both cars are there and I can see the son playing outside. They just couldn’t be bothered to answer the door.

I have told dd not to answer the door again because she can’t deal with deliveries, which upset her a bit.

Anyway, I hate confrontation but I feel like this is taking the mick.

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 27/10/2025 15:24

How old is your DD? I simply tell mine not to answer the door to delivery drivers unless I am explicitly expecting something.

Drivers to be fair to them get paid for deliveries, not for attempted deliveries. So they will leave them wherever they can.

If you can clearly see they are there, stomp across the road and leave on the door mat with a cacophony of door rings and knocking.
Buy a sign, put it up and teach your daughter not to be a doormat too.

Sweetleftfood · 27/10/2025 15:25

Just go to the neighbour and say what you have said here, I can't take your parcels, I am working and can't be disturbed. From then on do not accept as in take in any deliveries not addressed to you. Sorted

LBFseBrom · 27/10/2025 15:26

Have a blind or curtain to obscure you working.

Delivery drivers won't be coming after 10pm, make it look as though nobody is in up until then, after that put lights on in hall to deter burglars.

Tell your child not to open door. Take battery out of doorbell during delivery hours.

Wildywondrous · 27/10/2025 15:27

I voted yabu because you are being unreasonable to keep taking parcels in, it's not convenient, it's annoying you and you don't want to do it so stop!

nosleepforme · 27/10/2025 15:27

Just put a sign
”unable to accept deliveries for neighbours”
after a few weeks the drivers will know and you can remove the sign. Your neighbours may not take in parcels for you once they see the sign.

Bluebottlerecycling · 27/10/2025 15:28

Set a boundary, stick to it.

Tell the neighbours you can’t accept parcels anymore effective immediately.

Decline to accept any parcel not for your address.

Demonstrate to your teenage daughter how not to be a doormat for inconsiderate people.

Viviennemary · 27/10/2025 15:29

Put a note on your door saying you are unable to take in parcels for neighbours.

waitamo · 27/10/2025 15:30

I'm not in UK, but our mail service tries once. Takes back parcel and leaves message asking if recipient wants another attempted delivery or pick up at depot.

Other courier services ask for delivery options if no one home. I'm sure that's similar elsewhere. Your neighbour has put your address as an option.

I'd be over there with my rolling pin and to give him a good telling off. NOW.

TheDenimPoet · 27/10/2025 15:30

It's much the same here, all the delivery companies know I'm always home, so they use us like the sorting office for the street! It's insanely annoying. I actually find it it more annoying in an evening when I'm trying to relax and people are coming home from work and coming round to get their parcels. Or worse when they haven't come and I have to go walking down the street (sometimes I don't think they know where the parcels are, but some are just bloody lazy).

I did think about getting a sign to say no, but I don't mind from our next door neighbours as we do favours for each other. But they come from way down the street, which is irritating.

TokenGinger · 27/10/2025 15:31

Absolutely put a sign on your door to say you are a night shift worker, and also work from home, so not to knock on with deliveries for neighbours. This is totally unacceptable.

BingBongBish · 27/10/2025 15:34

I did mention it to neighbour, who is the main culprit, he just laughs and says he understands it’s annoying, but it keeps happening.

It doesn't sound to me as though you explained it in exactly the same way you did to us?

What was their reply when you asked why they don't get it delivered to their nearby family or workplace?

You'd be better off putting a big sign on the door telling deliverers to only knock if the parcel is for your address.

Otherwise, if you stop taking their parcels in you'll still have the problem of them knocking and your dog barking.

bumblebeedum · 27/10/2025 15:34

Stop being a martyr, get a sign and just say no if anyone still knocks and asks

MolkosTeenageAngst · 27/10/2025 15:35

You don’t have to take them in, you can just say no when the delivery drivers knock on. You can also shut your blinds so they can’t see you at your desk and sleep with earplugs in so you’re not awoken. If you stop taking them in your neighbours will make an alternative plan and stop the deliveries.

NippyNinjaCrab · 27/10/2025 15:38

I have a note on my door to say:

Do not knock the door or ring the bell. Leave all parcels on the doorstep (unless to be signed for) No parcels for neighbours.

It works. You will get peace to work and to sleep.

HomeTheatreSystem · 27/10/2025 15:41

You've let yourself get so wound up about this without doing the obvious which is a sign on your door saying you don't take parcels for neighbours. Please also help your daughter to answer the door to delivery drivers without getting in a mess about it. All she has to do is say, "Sorry, we don't take parcels for neighbours anymore and no, I'm not disturbing my mum for you to talk to her."

mustwashmycurtains · 27/10/2025 15:47

In our area (central London) the delivery drivers knock on neighbours doors constantly, regardless of what is listed as the delivery preference by the people ordering. I agree that a firm but polite note on your door next to the buzzer is needed. This will stop 80% of them.

TBH it may have nothing to do with your actual neighbours having listed ‘leave with neighbour’ but even so, once a few of their parcels go astray they will stop ordering so much on days they won’t be home to receive them. But possibly no conversation is actually needed with the neighbours.

Nurseleaver82 · 27/10/2025 15:56

Put a note on the door thats states you only accept packages for your address. Tell your children not to open the door on pain of whatever you can think of or tell them if they can go entire weekend without opening the door to a delivery driver, they will get a saturday night takeaway. Or they can have tired angry mum 🙄 😒

FishermanBib · 27/10/2025 15:57

Either your neighbours have put a note on their deliveries telling couriers to try you if they are not home, or the couriers just want to offload their cargo wherever they can. As long as you keep opening your door and accepting it, your frustration or inconvenience is not their concern. They do not care if it interrupts your work, wrecks your sleep, or fills your hallway.

I am afraid you are allowing this to carry on by continuously opening the door and accepting parcels. You have already seen what happens when you try to complain,they laugh it off and nothing changes.

The only way this stops is if you stop taking parcels. It is that simple.

Put a clear sign on your door saying “No parcels for neighbours. Do not knock.” Do not explain. Do not apologise. Do not justify. If they ring your bell, ignore it. If for whatever reason you do answer the door and the parcel is not for you, simply say 'oh I'm about to go on holiday and won't be here to give them their parcels'. When the neighbour comes for the current box, hand it over and tell them directly, “This is the last one. Do not send anything here again.”

If you keep engaging, you are teaching both the neighbour and the drivers (and your DD) that your boundaries do not matter. If you cut it off cleanly, the inconvenience ends immediately and they will have no choice but to take responsibility for their own deliveries. You want to do this now before the madness of Christmas deliveries!!

PlaceIntheClouds · 27/10/2025 15:58

Put a note on the door that says no parcels for neighbours. Eventually the delivery drivers will get the idea.

This is a situation where you need to be very assertive or the neighbours and drivers will walk all over you.

Tessasanderson · 27/10/2025 16:08

Tell the delivery driver once and firmly NO. If they persist tell them to Fuck Off and slam the door in their face.

Eventually they will get the message.

You are being your own worst enemy discussing this with your neighbour or the delivery drivers. Dont drag you DD into this, just be polite once then a clear Fuck Off. Its quite simple

Tessasanderson · 27/10/2025 16:11

No way would i be putting a sign on my house about someone elses problem. All it does is mark you out as someone who they can point at as being un neighbourly.

Be assertive, Once polite, twice horrible. They will soon get the message.

godmum56 · 27/10/2025 16:23

is it me or do we see this on MN very frequently? Seriously what is the problem? Refuse to accept the parcels. That's it really. As Barbara Bush put it "Just Say No." Tell your kids to say no.

Myblueclematis · 27/10/2025 16:23

I work nights too and I’m woken up at least three times a week by deliveries for the same neighbours and it really affects my mood.

I worked nights for many years and I always put a note on my door saying "Do not disturb, night shift worker". It was a big note too, no way could they not see it.

It worked too, never had any knocking.

Friendlygingercat · 27/10/2025 16:25

You say in your OP that you work from home near a window so the delivery drivers can see you. Have you thought of putting that reflective film over the window which turns the outside into a mirror? You will still be able to see through and have light for your work. Then you can watch the antics of the delivery people when they are wondering what to do with your parcels. Ring doorbells are also your friend. Mine pops up a picture on my computer screen, tablet or TV depending on what Im doing.

Ive had stern exchanges with delivery drivers myself when I refused to take in a parcel. I just told them Im not a parel depot and it not my problem. I had a parcel delivery last friday From Amazon and one today from the USA. I kept an eye on the deliveries because I knew what day they were coming. Its called taking adult responsibility.

Im not expecting any more parcels or visitors this week so if the door bell goes it gets ignored.

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