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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So annoyed with my neighbours what should I do when I see them?

281 replies

geekygardener · 27/10/2025 13:36

Every week I’m taking in parcels for a neighbour. I don’t mind the occasional one, but it can fluctuate between a couple a week to a few daily. They order a lot of stuff and are never in to receive it. I don’t know why they don’t order it to their family who live on the next street or to one of their work places. This has been going on for a number of years.
I wouldn’t mind if I’m in just pottering at home, but I often work from home and my office is next to my front door. This means delivery drivers can see I’m in sat at my desk. They will continue to knock and wait even if I don’t initially answer because I’m in a meeting or call. People on the other end of my calls can clearly hear the knocking and dog barking, so I have to cut off. It’s unprofessional, especially because I take calls from people in distress. It’s unfair to cut them off.

I have told multiple delivery drivers that I am working and can no longer take in parcels for neighbours but that seems to have made little difference.
I work nights too and I’m woken up at least three times a week by deliveries for the same neighbours and it really affects my mood.

Today I was resting after a night shift and knocking woke me. Teen dd opened the door but then came running up telling me it was a large delivery for the neighbours and the delivery driver said he needed an adult to take it. Plus it was too large and heavy for dd to take in alone. This is not the first time we have taken in packages that have been large and heavy. I had one neighbour’s wardrobe and bedside table blocking my hallway for over a week while they were on holiday.
I just lost my temper because of being woken and I gabbed the parcel said “fine” and slammed the door. The delivery driver looked shocked, I do feel guilty about that but I was just fed up. I then just sat back down and no more than 2 minutes later another delivery driver knocked with another parcel for neighbours. Dd answered again and shouted out to me that he required an adult again, I couldn’t believe it. It was a different delivery company and driver but I shouted back for her to tell them no. They handed it to her anyway and she brought it to the hallway.

I can honestly say if it was the odd occasion that’s fine and I’d be a good neighbour and take them in happily. But this is multiple times a week, often multiple times a day and is disturbing my work and rest,

I did mention it to neighbour, who is the main culprit, he just laughs and says he understands it’s annoying, but it keeps happening.

Im now left with a large heavy box in my tiny hallway. I also feel like I can’t relax because soon neighbour will come knocking on my door to collect it. So if I wanted to go back to sleep I would be woken again. I looked across and the neighbour is actually in ! Both cars are there and I can see the son playing outside. They just couldn’t be bothered to answer the door.

I have told dd not to answer the door again because she can’t deal with deliveries, which upset her a bit.

Anyway, I hate confrontation but I feel like this is taking the mick.

OP posts:
LakieLady · 27/10/2025 14:47

Owly11 · 27/10/2025 13:58

Also it doesn't matter how long someone knocks for i don't answer the door if i am in a meeting. You can get net curtains if you feel that self conscious about not answering.

I used to do that, just ignore it. One day, the cheeky fucker delivery driver came up the drive, opened the side gate and opened the back door.

I was working from the kitchen table at the time, and it amused my colleagues no end to see this total stranger appear in the background while we were having a team meeting. But I could just as easily have been representing someone at a tribunal.

RedToothBrush · 27/10/2025 14:48

1st reply nails it.

If they persist, refuse delivery from the driver. The neighbour will soon get the message...

MumChp · 27/10/2025 14:48

Say no. Tell your teenager to say no.
Put up a sign.

The drivers will learn. Your neighbours will learn.

Sleepeazie · 27/10/2025 14:49

I don’t think it’s a neighbour issue.

They are ordering parcels to their own address.

Often-time it’s difficult to know what day/time they might come, so they probably figure that there’s a chance they might be in, and if not - there are many options available to the delivery company (safe space on property/local pick up point/take parcel away - aswell as trying a neighbour).

I order several parcels a week as I’m in an out all day, as are my older teen kids.

If we’re not in, 95% get put in a safe place on my property. This is because I ask for this in the app (where I’m offered a choice) and I tell my delivery drivers in person not to bother the neighbours’. If I get a text with a delivery time, far enough in advance - I’ll come home.

I think you’ve made a rod for your own back. If you’d always said no, and/or had a sign up saying don’t disturb- and if they had ignored it complained to the delivery company.. they wouldn’t be bothering you like this.

I would ask the neighbours to add to their special instructions with the couriers, not to knock neighbour at number xx. And I’d refuse all parcels/add a sign to my door and complain if ignored.

Ultimately the neighbours ordering parcels is not the problem, it’s the delivery drivers and you fur being passive (unless of course, the neighbour has added a note to say to leave my parcels at number x, without your say so).

StewkeyBlue · 27/10/2025 14:50

Why don’t they put a shop or locker that takes deliveries as the delivery address?

I would tell them to do that, put a ‘no deliveries, do not knock’ notice on your door, and if you do get another delivery for the neighbour knock on HIS door during your night shift at a very unreasonable hour to give it to him. And see how he likes it.

WallaceinAnderland · 27/10/2025 14:50

You are the only one causing this and you are the only one who can stop it.

The delivery people are on a tight schedule, they are not going to wait around for you to answer. Ignore them until they go away. Do this consistently a few times and it will stop.

Rosiedayss · 27/10/2025 14:53

Unfathomable that anyone would tolerate such an imposition.
What awful modelling to your daughter.

ParmaVioletTea · 27/10/2025 14:55

Put a HUGE sign on your door.

Cardinalita90 · 27/10/2025 14:57

Your neighbour isn't taking you seriously because you keep accepting them. The moment they're left outside to get wet he'll stop doing it. Christmas is approaching so you're going to get even more so you need to take a stand now.

Tell him firmly next time you give one back that it's the last one you're accepting as its disrupting your work. And that any more will be refused or left outside and you won't be responsible for their condition. Then follow through.

Mumsworkneverdone · 27/10/2025 15:01

Hi Op,

I would draw your curtains if possible. Them they cannot see you working or look at getting privacy film that lets light in. Completely unfair!

LateLifeReturnee · 27/10/2025 15:01

I had a neighbour who repeatedly did this. Their partner actually worked at home but they didn't answer the doir during work. They didn't care that I recieved large bulky parcels, often not collected for days. The adult child even told me he put pur address down as he knew he'd be on holiday (thus a huge box sat in my lounge for a week.) Once, a grabbed the neighbour as they were starting a walk as I had a huge delivery of dresses for the daughter. They said they be round later - I said no now

I took a deep breath after one more delivery and knocked thier door. I told them I would refuse to accept any parcels for them and to remove me as an alternative adddress. They were annoyed but never bothered me again.

Abracadabrador · 27/10/2025 15:03

'No.'

Problem ended.
I only had to do this one time when my door was knocked for a parcel meant for neighbours who had made my life hell.

Saying no to stuff is great, do it often.

Irenesortof · 27/10/2025 15:05

Infuriating OP and it has to stop. A HUGE notice on the door saying you cannot take deliveries except for [your address]. Cover your office window with that film that means you can see out but nobody can see in. If necessary, take the batteries out of the doorbell. The drivers will soon get the message.
Also leave your neighbours a note saying that you can no longer take deliveries for them and please can they let the couriers know that. There is sometimes a box for 'Don't leave at no...' for just this purpose.

Sartre · 27/10/2025 15:08

I voted YABU because you’ve been way too soft for far too long. I have absolutely no idea why you’d ever agree to take humongous parcels in… You should have put your foot down a long time ago.

We’re often not in for parcels but have set up a safe place to leave them so it never ends up with the neighbours. Your neighbour needs to do the same.

ResusciAnnie · 27/10/2025 15:10

I had one neighbour’s wardrobe and bedside table blocking my hallway for over a week while they were on holiday.

Oh for gods sake that’s ridiculous. No way would that accidentally happen in my house - we’d quite simply just say no. Just say no op! Put a sign up if you want. No.

TeenLifeMum · 27/10/2025 15:11

My neighbour works nights and they put a sign on the door.

Diamond22 · 27/10/2025 15:13

Definitely put up a wee sign. Even if you answer the door you are not obliged to accept the parcel, just refuse.

BLUEUniversalLight · 27/10/2025 15:13

I have put a large note covering with plastic. Delivery for my place n High light this. My neighbour uses my address n I got fed up, n I wouldn't signed that doesn't belong to me. Because of whatever is in the parcel, boxes n you don't want to be responsible for, some neighbours are kind one minute they will nasty...
You have take responsibility for what is happening.
I have called the companies that delivered was done n dumped n complaint about this. I believe people have taken your kindness n now believe you are their post box.
Just don't sign...n accept....honour yourself...take care...remember its their stuff...n using kind people....

Oxo01 · 27/10/2025 15:14

I would make sure they get the ones you have taken in first, as if you put them out now / later they can say they haven't recived from you or at all, ( delivery person would inform who its left with)

Then if you can see they are home now go over ask them to take them from your home ( you dont carry if too heavy) then tell them no more due to your work etc.

If anytime delivery hands to you just refuse it full stop.

If all fails and if you leave the parcels outside their door make sure you take a clear photo of parcels on their doorstep with number showing. Time and date stamped will be good.
Faff for a while but im sure it will stop once they know your serious.

TMMC1 · 27/10/2025 15:16

This.

You could also get a parcel box to leave outside for your own parcels.

TMMC1 · 27/10/2025 15:17

Refuse, tell the courier to 'return to sender as refused delivery'.

MummaMummaMumma · 27/10/2025 15:19

Just say no?

Littlemisscapable · 27/10/2025 15:20

tigger1001 · 27/10/2025 13:41

You are going to have to learn to say no to the delivery drivers. And mean it. Get a sign that says no parcels unless for your address.

a video doorbell might be your friend - can answer it and say no (as long as not on a teams call etc.

just say to your neighbours
(if they say anything) sorry cant take parcels in when I'm working and I'm not answering the door if in bed after working nights.

This..I get this is stressful but you are making yourself stressed. Stop accepting these parcels they are not for you and you dont know what is in them !

Mauvehoodie · 27/10/2025 15:23

Ugh, I feel annoyed and twitchy for you just reading that! You are definitely NBU I'd make a note for the door saying "NO DELIVERIES FOR ANY OTHER ADDRESSES WILL BE TAKEN". And then completely ignore any knocking till they get the message and get your DD on board too. I'd get some blinds or just close the curtains so they can't see you in your office as well. Enough is enough but I think you'll have to go full scale NO PARCELS to get the message through.

Harrysmummy246 · 27/10/2025 15:24

YABU because you aren't in any way dealing with it. Easy enough to tell drivers no you won't take the parcel and neighbours too for that matter