Am I being unreasonable to be petty?

[Livpool]

This has been going on for a few years now but has really started to grate. I have 2 female cousins (they are twins )in their 30s. One lives at home with parents and the other is married with a child.

No matter the occasion we get a card (and sometimes a present if for DS) it signed from twin 1, twin 2, twin 1’s DH and DS. It annoys me more than it should and I don’t generally think about it but my uncle (their father) messaged me the other day saying twin 1 is requesting money for Christmas as they are moving in the new year.

I said I was just going to buy a present for their DS and everyone else gets a card. This has blown up and their mum is angry with me for being stingy. I didn’t really care and ignored it but now other family members are being dragged in! Madness!

But - am I being stingy or petty? I know you don’t give to receive but it’s more the effort, or lack of it towards me and my family.

Well done OP! It's great to see someone actually taking a stand against bullshit like this and sticking up for themselves. So often there are threads where the OP just won't take the advice given and continues to be a doormat (while moaning about it). Good for you.
So what if you've kicked the hornets nest. What are they going to do? Not send a card? I'm sure you'll be devastated 🥴😂.

Am I the only one who is picturing this pair as Sherri and Terri, the spoilt twin girls in Bart Simpson's class?

Stick to your guns, don’t be intimidated and DON’T let anybody else do your thinking for you. Only slight downside of all this pettiness is that all the cards you send from now on will be going straight in the bin. Upside? Scope for naff, cheap or cheeky cards. Win !

You’re not being petty at all. It’s completely your decision what to give and who to give it to, no one gets to dictate that, not even your aunt. If you want to give your cousin something, that’s up to you, but it should come from kindness, not pressure. Honestly, family guilt trips over gifts are such a headache, do what feels right to you.

😂

I will miss getting a card with 4 names on it - when they don’t all live together

That is exactly what I would do. Tell uncle I’m giving to them as they give to me as I am their cousin not their aunt.

Totally reasonable, and not petty at all. Petty would be going the malicious compliance route and sending them novelty money along with an exorbitant amount of glitter. Highly recommended, btw.

I think you’ve absolutely done the right thing. Their family dynamic sounds really odd, sending a card from everyone when they don’t live together? I’d just stay out of any family Whatsapp groups etc.

My hubby has a cousin who is female and just over a decade younger than us (we are in our 40s). He was always expected to look after her like she was a little princess, and behave like he was her uncle, as he father (my hubby's actual uncle) lived abroad. 🙄
That soon got stopped after he met me, as she massively took advantage. Her dad tried to carry it on from afar, and it was a huge NO from me. 👎

Some youngsters never grow up and still expect to be pampered when they reach adulthood. 🙄
No thank-you, time to grow up and behave. 👎