I'm so unhappy in my job. Made a huge mistake.

[latishia6]

I was in a job I really enjoyed but it didn't pay enough for me to live comfortably. I saw a job come up that on paper looked amazing. Working for a small charity (I was already working in the charity sector) in my area of expertise. I applied and got it. It paid a lot more (7k, which is a lot for me), and was a step up. I'm perfectly capable of doing the job, but half of what I'm doing is not in the job description. I'm basically looking after a system for data recording, which I knew I would have to use, but I had no idea based on the JD that it was going to be me actually managing it. I've been doing it for 7 months now and just hate it. It confuses me, I'm useless at it, I have ADHD and it has made it so much worse. I'm so anxious and dysregulated and I just need a different job. I feel tearful all the time and burnt out even though the workload isn't enormous, because the brain power my job needs is enormous for me. I am searching for jobs every day but there's just nothing that allows me to work remotely, which I need as a lone parent to a disabled child. I feel so stuck and sad. I feel like it would look terrible on my CV to leave a job so soon (if I can find anything). Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? How did you cope? Did it take you a long time to find a new job? I was close to quitting the other day out of a pure madness moment but thankfully didn't.

If you really can’t get your head round the system then it’s ok to look for something else. I only judge a CV if someone has moved a lot like every year (unless they were all ftc).

Is there anything you can do to manage your use of the system better? More training or self directed learning?

Honestly I really don't think there is. I've tried. I've attended all the training. I've spent time every day working on it. I feel like it just isn't for me. Other people seem to pick it up so it's definitely a me problem.

I ince left a job after only 6 months. I felt so guilty as I'd asked my company to transfer me there, but once there I realised I had made a huge mistake and hated it

I started looking for new roles after 3 months, got offered a job and worked my 3 months notice

So much happier now and so glad I didn't stay longer than I did as I was so miserable.

Could you contact your old employer? If they want you back, they might be prepared to pay a bit more.

If not, tell yourself you are leaving this job ASAP to settle your mind. Then find a new job and move ASAP. No one will think less of you - many people find a new job is not what they wanted. Focus on what you've learnt and move on - good luck 👍

I would start by speaking to your manager and explaining that you just can't do this part of the role and ask if anything can be done, such as maybe moving you to new duties and point out that your duties are different than the initial JD.

I would disclose your ADHD as well to HR/your manager, if you haven't already, because it means your employer has to look at reasonable adjustments which could include changing your duties to make the role more suitable for you.

If nothing can be done then unfortunately I would leave and look for another job that won't cause you so many issues.

Prioritise yourself if you can, can you go on leave for a few days to calm down?

This has happened to me yes. I had an 8K rise to pay for a post-grad course. I still miss the job I left.

I ended up moving to a cheaper city and starting over. But I was young and had no kids.

A job you hate will ruin your life. I'd leave. Do you have savings?

Can you not work part-time and claim UC while your kids are young? I can't even imagine the stamina it takes to care for a child and work full-time, let alone with additional needs.

As a last resort I'd go off sick for a bit and get a new job from there.

I sympathise. I also have ADHD and there are some jobs we just.can't.do. Just not designed for the way our brains function. I'd feel exactly as you do.

What are your strongest skills? Can you contact the charity and say that this is not working out. That you hadn't grasped from the JD or interview that so much time would be spent on a job which does not play to your strengths. Explain what you are best at and ask if it would be possible to reallocate some work, so that the data management is handled by someone else and you can focus on project management or whatever else you are good at. I have friends who adore data management, who get huge kicks from streamlining and improving it, so it's not as though you'd be palming the duff work off onto someone else - just suggesting it is done by someone who excels at it.

And it is fine to keep looking and applying elsewhere. People understand that sometimes a job turns out not to be a good fit and it makes sense to move quickly rather than stagnate.

I have adhd and work for a charity. I think you have to find a role where the majority of what you spend your time on is a skill that comes easily to you.

There's always going to be parts you hate and you'll need to find strategies for them, but there's got to be enough parts of the role that you enjoy.

I deal with the parts I don't like with by creating checklists and templates so I don't have to spend so much brain power on them.

There's only 3 strategies to doing something you find hard with ADHD:
Change the physical or social environment
Modify the task
Use people around you

I would talk to your line manager to see if anything can be changed and if not, I would start looking for a new role as life is too short.

if you are worried about explaining being at a place for a short period, you can always say it was a fixed contract and there were no other positions available etc.

Good luck with your job search 😊

I left a job after one year and quite cheerfully describe it as a mistake in interviews. It was wrong for me, but I learned a lot and I won’t do it again. It’s not a problem from that perspective.

OP, if this was a mistake then leave. I once made a mistake like this and stayed 3 years - I really regret not taking action sooner. I was also afraid it would look bad on my CV but in hindsight that was nonsense. I should have listened to my gut! Anyway, I see some people suggesting talking to your manager. I would do that first, you have nothing to lose. In the meantime start looking around for another job. Knowing you are working on this, knowing that you have made the decision to change things around for you, will hopefully help you stick it out a while longer. Crossing my fingers you will find another job soon (or possibly other work with the same employer). Best of luck OP!

Sorry you feel this way. I also have ADHD and understand the dysregulation you're talking about. Good luck with what you decide to do.

You been successful. You've identified that this role doesn't match your skillset so you need to find another one. That's what success looks like. Forgive yourself and find something that does match your skillset.

Since they have given you a role not in the job description, can you ask whether this could be altered to match the criteria they outlined? I don’t think this would be massively unreasonable. I’m a lecturer and what you’ve described sounds like me getting a job lecturing in English Lit but turning up and then asking me to teach geography after a bit of light training. It isn’t really fair.

I could have written this exact post, even down to the ND and lone parenting.
I feel really stuck and anxious but trying to make it work for now because of my cv and don’t want to jump into something worse.
Wishing you all the best.

Could you speak to your boss about it? Could you say that you didn't realise when you joined that you'd be managing the system, you understood you'd be using it. You find it quite challenging even thought you have done all the training, and is it possible to have a bit of a change of role by taking on something else but dropping the ownership of the system. For all you know the boss may say "Oh! yes, X who left used to look after that but I can see it doesn't fit with your role" and make some changes..

OP, are you medicated for ADHD?

Elvanse (Lisdexamfetamine) was transformational for my son. He is now at uni. He used to be frustrated with his inability to focus and underperfomance. After medication, he is raring to go, revising daily and enjoying the challenge.

Rather than quit your job and lose all the future earnings, it is worth paying for a private prescription and see how it goes if you have not tried medication.

Hey, first off, you are doing so many things right. You took a step up so you can provide for your child, you spotted a mismatch, you asked for help. That is exactly what capable people do. Everyone I know who pushed their career forward has had a burst of imposter feelings. It usually means you are stretching the right muscles.

Here is the reframe that got me through a similar patch: the obstacle is the way. The thing that feels hard now is the very skill that will unlock easier work, stronger interviews, and the next pay rise. Learning how to handle the data system turns today’s stress into tomorrow’s confidence, and that confidence translates into better earnings for you and your child.

What I would do, starting now

• Pick the exact system you are managing, then do the vendor’s beginner path. Salesforce Trailhead Admin basics, Microsoft PL-900, Raiser’s Edge fundamentals, whatever matches. Aim for 45 minutes after bedtime, four evenings a week, for the next month. Small, steady sessions beat heroic weekends.
• Build three quick wins in your current role. One standardised import template, one clean dedupe routine, one simple dashboard that answers the question people ask most. Ship them, write down what you did, and save screenshots for your CV.
• Ask for reasonable adjustments. Protected focus blocks, written requirements, fewer ad hoc interruptions, and a small training budget. Frame it as accuracy, risk reduction, and faster reporting.
• Review ADHD support with your prescriber. A meds and routines check-in can lower the cognitive “tax” while you skill up. Add practical scaffolding too: timers, checklists, and set slots for fiddly work.
• Keep job searching, but give yourself a 60 to 90 day window to turn this into a story you can sell. If you still hate it after that, you will leave with fresh skills and better bargaining power.

A friendly training roadmap

• Data system fluency: roles and permissions, fields, imports, validation rules, basic automation, core reports.
• Data literacy: Excel or Google Sheets power user essentials, plus a taste of SQL. This makes reporting far less scary.
• One dashboard tool: Power BI or Looker Studio. Trustees and funders love clear outcomes.
• Governance basics: short GDPR for charities course, write a one-page data dictionary and retention note.
• Light project skills: how to write a one-pager, a RACI, and simple release notes. This calms chaos and impresses managers.

How to pitch training to your boss

• Ask for 2 to 5 days of study time and a modest budget. Offer clear outcomes, for example reduce duplicates by 70 per cent, publish a monthly KPI dashboard, and cut manual entry by a third. Managers say yes to less risk and better reports.

What goes on your CV in 8 to 12 weeks

• Standardised imports and validation that cut errors.
• Monthly dashboard that reduced report prep time by half.
• Two small automations that saved hours each week.
• Data access set up correctly with a simple retention policy.

You are not broken, you are early. Treat this like a training arc, give yourself kind structure in the evenings, get the right clinical support, and turn the hard bit into your headline skill. That is how you earn more, feel calmer, and model real resilience for your child. You have got this.

Can you find some other staff to take over that bit in return for something else you can take on? The important bit is getting it done not who does it.

@latishia6 do you think you might suddenly pick it up? Maybe it is just one thing you’ve not got the hang of and it will suddenly follow. I was like this with fractions of all things, I was overthinking and panicking. Change of teacher and suddenly zoomed to top of the class. Is it a system you could get further training or different guides for? Is there someone who’s an SME who you could have a couple of sessions with? Sorry it hasn’t worked out so far …

OP ADHD is covered by the 2010 Equalities Act which entitled you to ask for reasonable adjustments.
One of which might be extra support/training or a role not managing this system.

We've all made mistakes when it comes to taking jobs that have turned out to be different in reality to what was advertised. Sometimes we take a risk in trying something new and realise it isn't for us. I'd far rather, as an employee, have people working for me who had shown willingness to step out of their comfort zone during their career, rather than people who had just stayed ploughing the same furrow for 20 odd years.

A few years ago I took on a job that on paper looked like a dream opportunity - but the reality was, it was largely administrative (as opposed to the strategic job it claimed to be). On my first day I realised I had made a mistake when it emerged I was in charge of the admin behind a shared inbox receiving over 500 emails per day - I was supposed to be leading a team and creating new products, and instead I spent all day every day just trying to keep on top of a constant barrage of admin. It caused me a huge amount of stress and I actually became quite depressed as a result. I was worried about leaving so quickly, too, but I needn't have worried - I had no problem at all finding a new job. I lasted 9 months - but I wish I'd had the courage to leave even sooner.

So, in short, moving on again so quickly won't look bad or be a barrier to you finding a new job, if that's ultimately what you decide.

However, as others have said, see if you can find a solution first.

Raise to your manager that you are spending a huge proportion of your working time on the management of this data system, which is a responsibility that was not in your job description. Make it clear that if this responsibility had been in the job description, you would never have applied for the job.

Further to this, be honest about how much of a struggle you are finding this data system due to your ADHD.

Your workplace legally needs to put in place reasonable adjustments to help you with your ADHD. They also can't ask you to take on duties outside of your JD without your consent.

If the role can be meaningfully adapted so that you are no longer doing the work you dread, then there will be no need for you to leave.

If after making adaptations, it's still not working for you, then please don't be afraid to find something else.

Don’t stay in a job which makes you unhappy. It’s not worth it. People will still employ you

Is it a CRM system?

I'd speak to management. It wasn't laid out in the job description so you are within rights to question it.