Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For admonishing DM - diabetes and having cake as a meal

117 replies

StationHouse89 · 26/10/2025 21:12

DM has been diabetic for last few years. Terrible diet. Very little exercise. On metformin. Doing things together over the weekend her meals would often consist of a massive piece of cake, hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows etc etc. I got frustrated with it and pointed out how terrible for her condition this is - to me it seems pointless to me to be taking medication then doing this to yourself. She seems quite put out. AIBU?

OP posts:
DareMe · 27/10/2025 21:22

Troisoranges · 27/10/2025 20:08

Well done you! Are you on metformin?

No. I declined it as it doesn’t actually solve the issue. It just masks it. I have done it through a low calorie, low carb diet, weight loss, exercise and reducing stress. I could still do better with exercise, but food wise I have nailed it.

GagMeWithASpoon · 27/10/2025 21:27

DareMe · 27/10/2025 21:22

No. I declined it as it doesn’t actually solve the issue. It just masks it. I have done it through a low calorie, low carb diet, weight loss, exercise and reducing stress. I could still do better with exercise, but food wise I have nailed it.

You got a repeat HbA1c test after only 6 weeks? And your levels were completely normal?

DareMe · 27/10/2025 21:43

GagMeWithASpoon · 27/10/2025 21:27

You got a repeat HbA1c test after only 6 weeks? And your levels were completely normal?

No. That is not what I said.
I had a HbA1C test early September. It came back high, well in the diabetic range. I then started monitoring my own fasting blood glucose (FBG) from then onwards. It was also obviously in the diabetic range initially. I have been doing a low calorie, low carb diet. Today when I did my FBG it was within the normal range. It has gradually reduced since early September. I am having a repeat HbA1C later this week, which I’m sure you know is an average of your blood glucose over the last 2-3 months, so whilst I’m not sure it will have reduced enough to be in normal I expect it to be significantly reduced from what it was. But as I am monitoring my FBG I know I am now in the normal range so will request another HbA1C maybe at the end of January where I hope it will show a normal result.

Riversidegirl · 27/10/2025 22:02

It’s so easy to be judgmental when you don’t have it yourself. It’s a daily, constant thought for those that do. As someone said earlier, start eating now like you already have it and see how fulfilling your life is.

Troisoranges · 27/10/2025 22:12

DareMe · 27/10/2025 21:22

No. I declined it as it doesn’t actually solve the issue. It just masks it. I have done it through a low calorie, low carb diet, weight loss, exercise and reducing stress. I could still do better with exercise, but food wise I have nailed it.

You’ve done brilliantly, but as I understand it metformin helps you to excrete sugar - so it does more than just mask the problem, it actively helps to lower blood sugar levels.

DareMe · 27/10/2025 22:25

Troisoranges · 27/10/2025 22:12

You’ve done brilliantly, but as I understand it metformin helps you to excrete sugar - so it does more than just mask the problem, it actively helps to lower blood sugar levels.

Yes it helps manage glucose circulating in the blood but it doesn’t do anything to the cells that are full of glucose. The reason blood glucose gets high is because the cells are so saturated they can’t fit anymore in, so the excess is just kind of left floating around. Medication doesn’t help clear the cells out so that’s why I said medication just kind of masks the main issue.

InfoSecInTheCity · 27/10/2025 23:40

DareMe · 27/10/2025 22:25

Yes it helps manage glucose circulating in the blood but it doesn’t do anything to the cells that are full of glucose. The reason blood glucose gets high is because the cells are so saturated they can’t fit anymore in, so the excess is just kind of left floating around. Medication doesn’t help clear the cells out so that’s why I said medication just kind of masks the main issue.

I get where you’re coming from, but the biology is a bit more nuanced. Metformin doesn’t just ‘mask’ the problem, it actually works on the liver to reduce excess glucose production and improves insulin sensitivity in tissues. The idea that cells are ‘full of glucose’ isn’t quite accurate; in Type 2 diabetes, the issue is that cells aren’t responding properly to insulin, so glucose can’t enter efficiently. That’s why blood sugar rises.

Lifestyle changes like diet and exercise are hugely powerful and can even lead to remission for some people, but it’s not guaranteed for everyone. Genetics, beta-cell function, and disease duration all play a role. So medication isn’t just a cover-up, it’s a tool to help manage blood sugar and reduce complications

RainbowBagels · 28/10/2025 00:41

if she’s in her mid 70s onwards, you can express concern it will shorten her life, but it is her choice. Far too much emphasis is placed on long life. It is about quality of life. I’m older and frankly I’d rather die younger enjoying things that aren’t always good for your heath , than live a longer life of restriction and self depravation
Tbh this is the conclusion I've come to. My DM is 76 and frankly I'm amazed she's lasted this long without more serious complications but she has. She knows the consequences.

3flyingducksarrive · 28/10/2025 02:06

DareMe · 27/10/2025 21:43

No. That is not what I said.
I had a HbA1C test early September. It came back high, well in the diabetic range. I then started monitoring my own fasting blood glucose (FBG) from then onwards. It was also obviously in the diabetic range initially. I have been doing a low calorie, low carb diet. Today when I did my FBG it was within the normal range. It has gradually reduced since early September. I am having a repeat HbA1C later this week, which I’m sure you know is an average of your blood glucose over the last 2-3 months, so whilst I’m not sure it will have reduced enough to be in normal I expect it to be significantly reduced from what it was. But as I am monitoring my FBG I know I am now in the normal range so will request another HbA1C maybe at the end of January where I hope it will show a normal result.

How many times a day are you monitoring? The morning one is important but it doesn't give you the whole story. Mine is usually around that or lower, fluctuates throughout the day (I get my strips for free and I test a lot), rarely goes over 8.

I'm still diabetic even if my HBAC1 is not even in the pre-diabetic range. I suspect you are in for a bit of a shock over the months and years to come.

thisishowloween · 28/10/2025 08:22

3flyingducksarrive · 28/10/2025 02:06

How many times a day are you monitoring? The morning one is important but it doesn't give you the whole story. Mine is usually around that or lower, fluctuates throughout the day (I get my strips for free and I test a lot), rarely goes over 8.

I'm still diabetic even if my HBAC1 is not even in the pre-diabetic range. I suspect you are in for a bit of a shock over the months and years to come.

Exactly. DH is Type 2 and often has “normal” blood results but he’s still diabetic and still needs his medication.

Fairydustand · 28/10/2025 11:31

ohdrearydrearyme · 27/10/2025 12:25

No.

As I said above, I have Type 1.

BLOOD SUGAR that is too high long term can cause the issues you describe. Eating SUGAR, per se, does not.

A fairly simplified version of what happens, but:

All the food you eat is broken down within the body into glucose which is used as fuel. Different types of food take different amounts of time to be broken down into glucose. Simple sugars, such as glucose, sucrose and the like are broken down more quickly. More complex carbohydrates take longer, and protein and fats take longer still, but are still ultimately broken down into glucose.
This glucose is transported in the bloodstream around the body to be carried into cells to be used as fuel.
Insulin can be thought of as a 'key' which allows that glucose to get into the cells. Without insulin, the glucose can not get in, the cells are starved of energy, and glucose builds up increasingly in the bloodstream (i.e. the blood sugar becomes too high), with the body doing its utmost to get rid of the excess via urine.

The pancreas of a type 1 diabetic produces no insulin at all. Therefore, in order to get energy into the cells FROM ANY FOOD SOURCE, insulin is needed.
It is actually easiest to dose the correct insulin amount and control blood sugar when eating something which is high in sucrose, because it is broken down so quickly. By contrast, a meal containing large amounts of protein, fat and just some carbohydrates is much harder to get right, as the rate of the foods being broken down into glucose is slow and often unpredictable. Food is still being broken down, but the insulin to cover the meal has already been 'used up'.

Without any insulin, even eating NOTHING AT ALL, the blood sugar of someone with Type 1 will skyrocket. Death will occur within a matter of days even if one were to eat nothing. This is of course what happened to Type 1s before insulin was discovered/manufactured.

In addition, people whose bodies work normally are usually unaware that their pancreas is CONSTANTLY pumping out a smaller or larger amount of insulin. For example, when one wakes up in the morning, the liver (which is one place where the body stores glucose) dumps a load of glucose into the bloodstream to provide energy to start the day.
For a Type 1, without insulin, this will of course raise blood sugar. So you need to have some insulin active in your body at all times, whether by injecting slow-acting 'background' insulin as well as fast-acting insulin to cover the meals you eat, or by using an insulin pump which gives a tiny amount of insulin every couple of minutes (so-called 'basal'), as well as a larger amount (so-called 'bolus') for when you eat something. The correct amounts of all this insulin varies from person to person, is usually different at different times of day, and is pretty difficult to get perfectly right.

So, to summarise, if you have Type 1, you need insulin, even when you are not eating. When you do eat, you need more insulin. You have to figure out how much insulin you need in accordance with what you are eating, which means you are trying to do manually something that other people's bodies do automatically, and it is hard to get it right.

However, SUGAR is not off-limits.

I'm going to finish by quoting myself from upthread:

'As someone who has been, against my will, been given all sorts of - usually wrong - dietary advice or judgement from family, friends and strangers for YEARS now...'

... would you please just stop it.

And that goes for judging people with Type 2 as well.

Sorry I didn't mean to sound judgey .I just thought that adding extra sugar to a type 1 diet, would just make the body more succetible to the serious health issues.I remember my mum constantly adjusting her insulin levels because alcohol turns to sugar.She rarely ate a sweet or biscuit.She had a lot of hypos and had to be force fed dextrose tablets until the ambulance arrived.She just didn't eat enough because she didn't want to be overweight.So I had an extreme version of life with a diabetic.Her big toe was amputed when she was 75 and it never healed.

TheOliveFinch · 28/10/2025 11:55

@ohdrearydrearyme

sugar and carbohydrates which break down to glucose are the primary sources of glucose in the body , protein and fats are only used to produce glucose when there is a severe lack of carbohydrates in the diet which is unlikely unless you are on a strict keto diet. Most Western diets contain a lot of carbohydrate and too much sugar for many. Protein is predominantly used for amino acids and fats for fatty acids

FinallyHere · 28/10/2025 14:37

Yeah, and then you see the food served in our local hospital’s diabetic ward.

Routinely expect patients to want biscuits (yes, multiple packets of biscuits offered) and sugar in tea, multiple times a day.

NotLactoseFree · 28/10/2025 14:49

FinallyHere · 28/10/2025 14:37

Yeah, and then you see the food served in our local hospital’s diabetic ward.

Routinely expect patients to want biscuits (yes, multiple packets of biscuits offered) and sugar in tea, multiple times a day.

Yes, I was in the hospital for 4 days waiting for DD to be born, with GD. I couldnt BELIEVE the food they were offering me even knowing that I had GD. I had to get DH to bring in a lot of food for me.

FinallyHere · 28/10/2025 16:05

Glad your DH could help @NotLactoseFree

DH decided that ‘if the nurses say it’s ok, it must be good for me’. While in diabetic ward having months of intravenous antibiotics to try and stop the infection which had reached the bone of his big toe.

To no avail, toe had to be amputated to avoid the infection spreading. Sigh.

DareMe · 31/10/2025 16:00

Got my results. Have managed to go from HbA1c of 81 to 47 in 8 weeks. Not far off normal range now.

3flyingducksarrive · 01/11/2025 03:22

That's fantastic @DareMe . I hope you manage to maintain or get it even lower. You're still diabetic though.

Ponderingwindow · 01/11/2025 04:14

The decision point between protecting your health and enjoying life changes with age. How bad that piece of cake is for her really depends on how many candles would be on it if it were her birthday.

thisishowloween · 01/11/2025 07:45

DareMe · 31/10/2025 16:00

Got my results. Have managed to go from HbA1c of 81 to 47 in 8 weeks. Not far off normal range now.

That’s amazing - but without wanting to piss on your chips, you are still very, very early into your diabetes journey and what you find easy now may not be so straightforward in the long-term.

DareMe · 01/11/2025 08:05

3flyingducksarrive · 01/11/2025 03:22

That's fantastic @DareMe . I hope you manage to maintain or get it even lower. You're still diabetic though.

Thank you. I haven’t actually been diagnosed with diabetes though, so no I’m not diabetic. I had one incidental high reading with no symptoms and NICE guidelines clearly state in that situation a second blood test is required. My second test does not meet the threshold for a diagnosis.

I did what I set out to do, which was to strip visceral fat and the fat from my liver and pancreas to allow them to begin working properly again. I did it by doing what is recommended in the literature - rapid weight loss with a low calorie, low carb diet. That is happening….still a work in progress of course, as I’m not quite in the normal range yet.

I will continue with the dietary and lifestyle changes I have made as a lifestyle choice going forward though because I don’t want to regain the weight and I definitely don’t want to be diagnosed with diabetes.

The next stage of my plan for lifelong changes once I’m fully in the normal range will be working out what carbs I can eat and which ones really spike my blood glucose, so I’ll be wearing a CGM to experiment a bit. I’m interested to see what some of the other recommendations do e.g. cooking, cooling and then reheating pasta and rice. Apparently, this changes the structure of the carbs within and leads to a lower spike. And different food combinations too.

I would recommend reading The Diabetes Code (Dr Jason Fung), 8-Week Blood Sugar Diet (Dr Michael Moseley) and Life Without Diabetes (Professor Roy Taylor). Professor Taylor is the leading expert on Type 2 diabetes and developed the Newcastle Diet, which is what the NHS uses and calls a “remission programme”. The 8-week BS diet is based on that but uses real food, rather than shakes.

DareMe · 01/11/2025 08:15

thisishowloween · 01/11/2025 07:45

That’s amazing - but without wanting to piss on your chips, you are still very, very early into your diabetes journey and what you find easy now may not be so straightforward in the long-term.

Yes, I must be put in my place and told I will eventually fail it seems. No worries. It just spurs me on to prove people wrong. Thanks!

MellowPinkDeer · 01/11/2025 08:22

my mum was in hospital recently and the amount of people that came in with diabetes problems who ate crap all day long was unbelievable. Even the staff were like, you need to stop, you need to take notice of your readings and they just didn’t care. their life their choice and all that, but they probably wouldn’t have been in hospital if they were monitoring and managing it more responsibly.

Slimtoddy · 01/11/2025 08:25

I have a friend like this but I find myself thinking about why they eat what they eat rather than get cross with them. It is hard to watch though.

ScrollingLeaves · 01/11/2025 08:26

StationHouse89 · 26/10/2025 21:12

DM has been diabetic for last few years. Terrible diet. Very little exercise. On metformin. Doing things together over the weekend her meals would often consist of a massive piece of cake, hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows etc etc. I got frustrated with it and pointed out how terrible for her condition this is - to me it seems pointless to me to be taking medication then doing this to yourself. She seems quite put out. AIBU?

Is the metaformin causing her cravings?

ScrollingLeaves · 01/11/2025 08:30

Wonderful @DareMe for doing just what will really work long term as you’ve taken these steps in time.