Crohn’s urgent need using the cubicle with baby changing

[KittyCoo]

I’ve just come back from the hospital to visit my nan who’s had surgery. Unfortunately I have Crohn’s and got caught short. I had to dash and the nearest ladies happened to have the baby change cubicle inside (the cubicle nearest the door) Then some lady came in to change her baby (not a problem) and I overheard her having a go at me for using it as she wanted to change her baby in that cubicle and I think at the time the other two cubicles without facilities were available so I could see her frustration. . What’s got to me was she had her husband with her and there were facilities in the men’s too so he could’ve helped out!!!!!! I’m not saying her need was more important than mine but it’s just people are quick to judge. AIBU, should I have waited another millisecond to the next cubicle but there becomes a point where it would be been too late!!

Did you talk to her and explain why you needed that specific cubical? Or would she not have known that you did?

No because I was mid going to the toilet at the time!! I just heard her say urghh no baby change and I overheard a man’s voice outside hence my point about the husband or male relative!!

Adult about to shit their pants trumps baby needing a nappy change having to wait 2 more minutes. You did nothing wrong.

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket OP.

Dont give it another thought.

Hope your nan is doing good.

You were fine to do what you did, except you should have told her to piss off. Fucking busy body.

Crohns trumps everything else in such circumstances. YANBU the mother of the baby is.

(Fellow sufferer here.)

And the baby in question was over a year as walking so she could’ve changed her child standing up in the cubicle

You use whichever loo you need, it has a toilet in it so it's to be used as a toilet. Swanning in without urgent need, clocking the approaching Mom with a baby in arms and deliberately using that loo with a smug bang of the door would make you a dick, but that isn't what happened.

Also I think you're being over sensitive. "ugh no baby change" isn't having a go at you. It's a statement of fact. Unless she added something else, you really need to take it less to heart.

Honestly, don't even think about it. I'd rather someone have a go at me than shit myself. You'll never see the person again, so shrug it off and know you were in the right.
I had a few snarky comments about autistic DS using the disabled facilities when he was younger. One lady berated me and DS had a massive meltdown and I've never seen anyone back track and disappear so fast. It's none of anyone elses business.

I think it was targeted at me because there was a cafe near the toilets and only me, my male cousin, the lady, her husband and toddler were in the vicinity at the time!!

Don’t give it a second thought (easier said than done I know) you went to the toilet you needed at that time for your disability. You did nothing wrong

Was she having a go at you or just expressing annoyance that there was no baby change. If all she said was urghh no baby change, presumably she was just talking to her husband rather than having a go at you.

Unless there is more to the story sounds like you’re reading too much into it. But if she did actually have a go at you, she would have been wrong.

This, 100%

Use any toilet you need to when the other option is shitting your pants.

You're really over thinking. She was either talking to her husband so he knew why it would take so long, or just existing her thoughts out loud.
What did she say when you walked past her when you came out?

Is that all she said? If so then it doesn’t sound like she was having a good at all, more just saying her annoyance at no baby change, she’s allowed to have a moan about it without it being aimed at you personally or thinking you should have used a different one.

Injust want to say that having a hidden disability must be difficult, but that is the thing, people don’t know what they don’t know or can’t see.

I don’t think anybody is in the wrong, and assuming that just because a baby is over 1 that the parents can just change them standing is also abit shortsighted. I’ve been the parent that has looked everywhere for a baby changing and cannot find it, and I’m usually then tunnel vision for the nearest one - juggling kids whilst out is hard. But I have also been that person that has had issues with incontinents and despite literally being about to wet myself, I couldn’t blame the people queuing infront of me if they didn’t know I had an issue.

I agree with other PPs, it’s a moment in time, forget about them. But we all need to have conversations because I definitely wouldn’t have waited had I known the person behind me needed it more than me.

Not RTFT, do you have a radar key? You can get them on The National Disability Card website, along with cards and lanyards if you have certain medical conditions.
Obviously "Not All Disabilities Are Visible" should be a good enough answer, but I find knowing I have the card if needed to 'prove' that I am allowed in that cubicle gives me a little more confidence to stand up for myself if needed.
Doesn't sound like she actually had a go at you though, so I'd not give it another thought (younger me would have, though!)

Maybe she’s rightfully annoyed that the baby change is only available in one cubicle, rather than being annoyed at you per se.

I do have a radar key and an urgent card but there was no accessible toilet nearby , just ladies or gents

He wouldn’t have “helped out” he would have “parented equally”.

Language matters.

“Chuck it in the fuck it bucket”

Love it ☺️

YWNBU OP x

Er, that’s not how it works!

Even if there was an accessible one, they can sometimes take longer to access than a standard one, so you're absolutely fine to go in the quickest, def YWNBU

Always get one!!! 🥱

@KittyCoo I hope you won't mind but I've sent you a PM. Margaret