AIBU to think the charity shop lady’s comment about my 3 year old was a bit rude?

[pontipinemum]

EDIT IN ITALICS

Yesterday DS (3) and I went into the local charity shop.

While I was looking at something another lady came in with her baby in a pram. It’s a tiny shop so she was standing right beside me. The shop owner was chatting to her.

The mum looked a bit tired and frazzled, maybe a bit down too.
I asked how old the baby was (she said 2 months) and said “what a beautiful little baby, DS do you want to say hi to the baby?” He got shy and didn’t say anything, no big deal.

Then the shop owner said “they’re too young, he’ll only be interested when he can get something from her.” She absolutely meant it in a 'men are only after women for one thing sort of a way'

I didn’t say anything. Just felt like such an strange/ rude thing to say about a 3 year old. Like she was implying boys only care about what they can get from girls.

I know it will have gone over his head right now.

AIBU to think that was a weird comment? She has said some off things to me before about 'weird' names people gave their children. Name that are not weird at all.

I think she was making a comment about young children not finding young babies interesting. Nothing more.

I think she meant older children or siblings are only interested in interacting with babies when the baby can respond and interact with them back. I wouldn’t read too much into it.

Surely she meant he wasn't interested because the baby doesn't interact back. In my head surely she was referring to him being more interested had it been another toddler who would respond if he said hello.

Agree with this. She just meant interaction, nothing deeper than that.

I really don't think that was the implication, classic Mumsnet over reaching at play IMO

I don’t know how you can possibly know that she definitely meant in the way you assumed. I absolutely said about DD1 that she’d be more interested in DD2 (3yrs younger) once she would get a response/something back.

I've updated the OP in Italics. No she absolutely meant what she was implying.

She kept talking while I was looking giving out about pretty much everything in the village.

I agree that it’s the lack of interaction. An older child might comment on Ds’ Spiderman coat or want to point out the cool cars in the tub.

So because it's in italics that means it's now fact? 😵‍💫

What indicates she meant that?

How can you possibly know that she meant it in the way you think she did? I agree with all the others that she obviously meant the baby was dull to your child because it's a baby. I think given you're the only one thinking she meant it that way, it's a you problem.

It's in italics now obvs

I think you will be the only person viewing this comment in the way you have. You are being inappropriate, no one else.

Some charity shop workers can be a little peculiar. I’ve had many strange interactions with them. But I just let it wash over me.

@inks @Luxio I do get what you mean and maybe it is a 'me' problem. But it wasn't just the words it was the way she said it, with a sort of knowing gesture and emphasis on “when he can get something from her”, made it very clear she meant it in a sexualised way, like he’d only be interested in girls when he could get something out of them.

It's hard to describe in words.

@BallerinaRadio it being in italics doesn't make it fact, it makes it easy to spot where I updated the OP.

How could you possibly know it was absolutely what she meant?
This is a bizarre reaction you have.

She was having a go at a joke / being humorous. You are overthinking it.

It's hard to describe in words.

It's hard to describe because it's not a normal response to her perfectly normal comment. The fact you are trying so hard to justify this as an inappropriate comment is really strange.

I think you're reading this into what she said, OP. You misunderstood, it's fine, it happens.

Are you thinking of challenging her over it, or making a complaint?

(I don't think you should by the way. I think it was an attempt at humour that went a bit flat. Plus, she gives up her time to staff the charity shop, which is a nice thing to do and should be respected, even if she is a bit socially awkward).

If you aren't thinking of taking any action, best thing to do is let it go and not let it ruin your day.

"Get something back" is a phrase that's used exactly to mean interaction not sex or anything sexual.

People do say things like oh "they'll be a heartbreaker" about boys...but they don't mean it in a creepy way. Its just an elaborate old fashioned way of complimenting looks.

I suspect the lady would be mortified if she knew you thought she was implying anything sexual

It must be exhausting reading this much into every interaction.

How did she make it clear she meant it in a sexualised way? Did she give the old nudge, nudge, wink, wink? Did she say "just to clarify, I meant when this 3 year old is of an age to have sex of course (assuming he is straight)? Or did your mind go there and now you realise its a pretty normal and non sexualised thing to say and you're going to massively drip feed in order to make her seem like the dodgy one?

OP this says more about you than her!

Ew. What a gross thing to say about a baby and a three year old. Can only assume she's really pissed off with her husband right now and is projecting.

Unrelated but IME charity shop ladies always say weird and wonderful things. I work very near to a row of four charity shops with a greengrocers in the middle and I often browse after work. The ladies always seem to be either chatting to each other about how much they hate their DILs or saying odd things to me.

The one bloke that works there is nice but always bows to me and calls me ma'am.

Maybe there's something in the air.

I've often heard this used, always to mean playing with/ interaction.

I've put it in bold, italics and underlined it to prove that's true too.