Grandparent

[Mariocatgran]

AIBU to be cracking up that a lot of parents are getting there kids taken off them and us grandparents have to taken them on

You mean cracking up, as in finding it funny? You think it’s funny that children are being removed from their parents? Bet the children find it hysterical.

Not sure where you got this from, but I don't think it's something anyone should be 'cracking up' about

I am hoping the meaning of 'cracking up' has changed as I don't think children being being taken from their parent is remotely funny. Imagine what those children have been through.

Assuming this is the northern use of cracking up as in falling apart, going under!
You are right grandparents should be enjoying grandchildren not raising them.
Ss will ask family for help before fostering out.
If you can't do it ask for help. No shame in that. Stand strong OP 💐

As far as I know SS also approach family first if there is a concern with children living with their parents.

Not sure where you got this from, everyone I know has their children living with them.

You say ‘a lot of parents’, I don’t know any grandparents raising their grandchildren because they have been taken off parents? I also have worked in schools and can’t think of 1.

I think this must just be the circles that you mix in, because I’ve never known this happen to anyone 🤷‍♀️

What does cracking up mean in this context? I’ve only ever known that term mean laughing, in which case you’d be very unreasonable. I hope it means something else.

@NerrSnerrno sorry its just a saying i mean it misses me off I really wasnt meaning wrong

I love my wee guy but his parents are off doing there thing and we're totally struggling trying hard to bring up a wee guy who has severe Autism hes non verbal also ADHD and very aggressive

@itsmeitsthank you were doing all we can for this wee guy to stay in our care but we need lots of help and all the doors seem to be shutting on us as no one can cope with his aggression

Cracking up? So it's funny?

YABU

@Katflapkitdefinitely didn't mean it in a funny sense of the word I make going mad id never think anything bad about kids been taken away im living in this he'll just now

I only know one child who lives with grandparents but that's because her mother died and her dad is a waste of space.

Another friend is contemplating looking after his grandson full time as his daughter can't be bothered to parent him properly and just lets him sit on screens all day. It's not being forced on him though. It's a choice.

I presume you mean worried/concerned in the northern sense of cracking up. I am a grandparent raising a child. It's known as kinship care. The threshold for removing a child is very high, some might say too high. It's the first option when children need care for as it's a much better outcome than a child being placed with strangers. Since COVID more children have been taken into care and become "looked after" children. The reasons aren't truly known but we do have a small percentage of the current parenting generation who have reduced resilience and lack of maturity sometimes resulting in substance and alcohol misuse. You always have a choice, if you can't do it children S services look eleswhere. There follows a rigorous assessment process and sometimes grandparents aren't suitable. It's been one of the best times and one of the worst. The knowledge that we have a child who is now safe and stable and loved is priceless but you do have to make peace with your own future plans and dreams being effectively shattered. Are you concerned generally as a societal issue or is it closer to home?

@HardyWeinbergEquationno not meaning funny at all im living this at the moment I know therw nowt funny about it

Just seen your update about your grandson. It must be so hard, are there any plans for him to go back to his parent?

@Sunfloweranddaisyyou must live in a great place where i live the school run is all us grandmother's while the parents are in bed after taking drugs all night

This makes more sense now. I kid with this level of need is a lot to take on as a grandparent. Why was he taken away from his parents? As long as the local authority can dump him on you with no support and get away with it that is exactly what they will do. You need to be very vocal about your struggles. There is help, but it’s so overstretched they try to avoid giving it to people if they can avoid it. His school will be the best place to start. Set up a meeting with whoever is relevant (probably senco if he’s in mainstream, his class tutor if he’s in specialist provision), and spell it out to them. Ultimately they will all want to keep him with you if they can, but you do have the option of just refusing to have him which will cause a lot of extra work and cost, so if you shout very loudly about how you’re not coping they will try to help because the alternative is far worse and everyone wants to avoid it.

@ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNineno not meaning funny my life definitely isn't funny im sorry y took it qrong

I got what she meant by 'cracking up'
Surprised more people couldn't understand
Like PP said it's like falling apart, going under, going mad

I don't think it's as common as your post seems to make out OP, to have your kids taken off you.

But yes it's natural to try put with family and I can imagine it must be hard

Have you been in touch with Kinship Care, they are online and you can attend meetings or speak to someone for support. Have children's services been involved and is you GC with you on a legal order, I wrote my original post and by the time I'd finished it you had clarified a lot so I apologise if some of it may come across as patronising as you are clearly struggling with a situation. Are you in Scotland?. There's a regular poster on here who I will tag @jellycatspyjamas she is a mine of information as a social worker and adopter.

@AmusedCatthanks the SW has talked about kinship we're hoping to go down this road hes on a CPO and going on CPR tomorrow then next week iys to make the child protection plan its getting so much meant cracking up as going mad its a saying where on from I realise now it was wrong way to say it now

A bit judgemental there....