Grandparent

[Mariocatgran]

AIBU to be cracking up that a lot of parents are getting there kids taken off them and us grandparents have to taken them on

I knew what you meant and I think you have enough going on to worry about posters who immediately leap to something negative. How long has he been with you, are you at the start of the process?. It's emotionally draining and frightening, I can remember those early days vividly. You will have to push hard for support but keep going, is he at school yet?

I know quite a few who are (informal arrangements) eg parent (of child) moving back in with their parent (or they never left) and letting them pay for everything, do school runs, take child on holiday etc

It's not a thing here but from what you describe it must be very difficult for you. Sounds like you are doing your best with very little help.

OP 'cracking up' has two meanings.
I think it was obvious the meaning you meant from the context. I can't see that you said you wrong thing bearing this in mind

I hope things get easier

At my child’s former school I knew at least 2 families who are raising grandchildren due to substance abuse issues from parents and those children have been removed from the parents. Desperately sad all round - I feel
foe you OP.

@Lifesdthank you so much its appreciated

I have never seen that, not saying it never happens but doubt its all you Grandmothers.

Age Concern reckon there are 200,000 grandparents raising their grandchildren due to issues with parents. And that will be the ones doing it officially. In my job I encounter a lot of grandparents doing it unofficially because their children can’t or won’t do it.

Yep I worked in a school and it was common!

I really dont mix in they circles at all @RogerR4bbit im doing my best and this week guy is my partners grandson ive never been involved with SW and om now 52

If your struggling why arent his parents taking this as an opportunity to sort their lifes out and get him back in their care?

@purpleme12they way I worded it must have upset a few people but it wasnt meant that wat Thanks

You’re doing a great job! I hope you’re able to find some support - children have better chances at life because of people like you

Because they are clearly too selfish

Definitely not saying it’s doesn’t happen but for the Op to know a lot seems it’s a problem in the area they live. Which is concerning.

When I was growing up, non verbal, autustic children were being raised in institutions and children's homes. Parents were encouraged to give their disabled children up, so to see it as a new thing, isn't correct. It's only new, as in grandparents now getting more kinship caring roles. Although children would always be passed around in families. I do think that care burdens are a lot more now, than they ever were.

Or honestly can't cope, gave their child up and the Grandfather has decided to take residency. People are deemed as exeptionally selfish when they don't want their children to go to family members, but it doesn't always work out. The OP has joined the family and doesn't want to be a carer, whether that is influenced by her not being related to the child, only she knows.

@NerrSnerr she will be meaning it " breaking her" the saying has at least 2 different meanings

I have two children with SEN (one significant enough to have a full time one to one at school) so I think I’m qualified to speak when I say the parents are selfish. The OP has hinted they’d rather be doing drugs?

@Ponoka7im stepping up and doing the right thing for this week guy who needs help and been let down in life

A neighbour has full time care of a grandson. F knows where the mother is and the father is rarely seen. The Nan takes him to school and picks him up and has kids round for tea. What a lot to be landed with because of two useless pricks.

Would the work you’ve been doing in schools given you access to this information? I’ve worked in several schools and have encountered children being raised by grandparents in every one of them. It’s not the majority, but it’s not massively unusual either.

Although in some cases it’s because those grandparents enabled their own children well into adulthood

I only know of one person in this situation. The parent in question was parented very poorly and was in and out of care when they were growing up. I have no idea why the grandparents in the situation I know of are considered to be suitable as they failed to parent their own child.

I agree that to anyone who knew of the second meaning would have been obvious which one the OP meant. However, clearly a lot of us have only ever heard the laughing meaning before. This sort of misunderstanding can happen easily, when you’re so used to hearing a phrase in a particular context it wouldn’t necessarily occur to you that that may be only in your area and there may be a different or no meaning in another area.