That the phrases "The Mrs", "The Wife", etc set my teeth on edge!

[Mrsnothingthanks]

So sexist IMO.
To clarify, I have no issue with "My wife," but "The" anything I do.
My dad was out shopping once with my mum when he bumped into someone he knew loosely. The man said (in front of my mum, one of the strongest and most independent women I know): "Oh, is this Her Indoors?" Say whaaaaaaaaaat?!!! You can imagine her reaction!!! 😆

‘The’ wife does sound awful.

’Her indoors’ really tickles me, I’d laugh out loud if someone referred to me as that, it’s genuinely too ridiculous to feel offended by 😂 similarly with ‘the old ball and chain’.

I’ve genuinely never heard anyone in real life use phrases like these.

I find that I refer to my DH as my husband when I am complaining and want to add extra support to that, eg recently to my eldest’s teacher: ‘my husband really is not happy about this either’ 😂 it was definitely me who was the most unhappy, but wanted to add extra oomph! 😂

My friend called his wife "her indoors", "the ball and chain", or "the war ministry", but only when she was within earshot. It sounded so ridiculous and they got a laugh out of it. He'd never say it in front of anyone but me -I was equally close to both of them. He really looked up to her.

@Growlybear83 Awwww Old Trout and Shitbag - how romantic! Have you been married a long time? 💍 ❤️

yes, 45 years and together for 50 next month.

@Growlybear83 Awww massive congratulations 🎊

My husband has me in his phone as "the wife" and I hate it. He says it's because his cousin has exactly the same gift and surname as me. I'm like wtf? Just put me as my first name and her as cousin must be better.

He has yet to change it.

Infuriating!

My partner has referred to me as 'the Mrs' we are not married! I don't mind it but it is an old fashioned term I think. Mind you I absolutely can't stand the whole hubby, hubster, wifey nonsense, it really annoys me for some reason.

Exactly, in that context it’s jokey and affectionate. Not used in a genuinely disparaging way. I’d find that funny too. I constantly joke with my DH that ‘a happy wife is a happy life’ when I’m badgering him to do a tip run/pop in the loft, we find it hilarious 😂

Hubster 😂 agree!

My dad used to refer to mum as 'my bride'.
I used to think it was lovely, especially as at the end it had been over 50 years since their wedding. I wonder if people found that sexist? I hope not, it was meant with love.

It's really f*king not.

You don't get to police how other couples interact, or how their sense of humour works.

I sometimes despair at people's self-importance.

I also despair when you ask the AIBU question and then agree with those that support you, and tell people who disagree that they're wrong.

As she said, life's too short.

This absolutely. Suggests the individual - usually a women let’s be honest - is someone’s object not a human being 🤢

YANBU along with pink jobs and blue jobs. Also "I gave him/her a pass" - I.e. a pass to go out for the night.

@CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone You really can't see the misogyny?

@Strawberryorangejuice Up there with when a dad refers to looking after his own kids as "babysitting"!

Misogyny has intent behind it.

It is not misogynistic just because you say it is.

According to <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?q=www.oxfordreference.com/abstract/10.1093/acref/9780195148909.001.0001/acref-9780195148909-e-699&sa=U&sqi=2&ved=2ahUKEwjHt7Llq8CQAxUQWkEAHTX5JVoQjJEMegQINxAB&usg=AOvVaw1KNZcgbdXyPvy911N5ENWe" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Oxford Reference, misogyny is the "hatred of women," which has been updated to also include "contempt for, or prejudice against women". It can also mean a dislike of women or a belief that they are not as good as men.

The constant expanding of a definition to include "things i don't like" is pathetic.

If my DP and I choose to call each other by names that you dislike it does not make us misogynist/misandrist. In the same way that when PoC use the n-word it's not racist, and women saying "damn right b*tch" to each other is not sexist.

I prefer my name, I was once at my exH conference and someone came up and said oh you must be Mrs ‘his first name’ like I had no identity and didn’t care if I did.
A guy I was dating, referred to me as his woman, sounded like caveman ownership.

I want to vomit when an old school friends husband on FB says 'out for drinks with this one' and there'll be a pic of the two of them...married for 30 years and he refers to her a 'this one'. 🤨😑 I mean, I get it...she's fine with it but if my DH ever said that I'd be 'er...wtf?' Hate that.

My partner, my wife, the missus are all ok with me.
I don’t like it when people refer to their partner as the ‘other half’.. I think I’m just quite independent and would hate to be thought of as the other half or that I need another half. I don’t know. I don’t like it

’Her indoors’ is just revolting. Sounds like an old misogynist. Was rather hoping these old small minded men would be dying out, but looks like we might have the young replacing them.

Hate ‘hubbie’

DH doesn't use any of them afaik, but I don't see how 'the wife' is misogynistic. Its factual. People do sometimes refer to others they have a relationship with as 'the' whatever- the sister, the boyfriend, the bestie. I see a lot of it on social media in particular. I understand the stylistic objection but that's a different point.

'The Mrs' is incorrect in my case, and not a title I'd ever use, so I actively wouldn't want that.

Hating these expressions literally takes a nanosecond 😄

I could accept it ironically, but any man who uses it as a matter of course I find unimaginative and very dull. It's a lazy cliché for men who don't think.

Her indoors, the missus, the leader of the opposition- not remotely misogynistic. Like women don’t have nicknames for their husbands or partners. Anachronistic at worst perhaps but they’re not underpinned by hatred or control.
Where I come from people refer to their loved ones with the prefix ‘Our…’ does that indicate possessiveness? Nope. Just familiarity and endearment.
I’d be the first to call out misogyny but this isn’t it.

No

And me!! 😂