Warning: this post may cause a little envy… but only a tiny bit 😏

[Flowerofdestiny]

Does anyone in their 50s actually exist who does nothing all day?

I feel a bit silly asking this, but I’ve been wondering…

Does anyone in their 50s exist whose kids are grown, who doesn’t work full-time, and literally has days completely free of obligations?

I’m genuinely curious: is it as boring as it sounds, or actually a little paradise?

I feel a bit nosy for asking, but I’d love honest answers 😅

I only work because we live in a capitalist system and otherwise i would starve, be homeless and even unhappier. I would love not to work or to be able to do my dream job which would not feel like working as I'd love it.

Money is shit

My mother retired at 60. Lies on the sofa all day.

Travels out the country couple times a year. It seems like a depressing lot tbh. But that's probably more about the way she chooses to live it.

Dont let others make you feel judged.
It says more about them than it dose you.
You dont need to explain to anyone if you feel you need to say something tell them you will go back when the doctor says so.
I know what its like to be judged i had a baby young thats a right look down the nose to some.

And claim benefits.

This is what they're there for.

You are worth claiming what you contributed toward.

You might accidentally discover a biodegradable plastic made from leftover cabbage tomorrow. Are you going to become Elon musk about it or take the benefits now and share your wealth TM?

Take the help when you can and offer the help whern you can.

I don’t care what others think. Nor should you.

Their judgement has nothing to do with you.

I’ve had friends who have ghosted me after finding out I don’t work. Their loss.

I don’t worry about it. Why would you want to be friends with people who can’t accept that not everyone’s lives turn out exactly like theirs? The thing is, people - all people - have much less control over their life’s trajectory than they think.

I’m a bit past my fifties but have retired so have no demands on my time. I do as I please and live a very nice life, going to the theatre/cinema, meeting up with friends, travelling whenever I want to. I contributed significantly to both society and the tax system continuously for forty- eight years so forgive me if I feel not even the tiniest bit of guilt.

Anyone who can afford to retire in their fifties will have already contributed huge amounts of tax.

I have not worked in a full time job since my 20s- and the work I did then would not seem like full time work to most of you. I have had many years of caring, and I have also had circumstances that made pursuing the work I really wanted and trained for almost impossible. Most people would see my life as kind of pathetic, and I see it that way sometimes too.

So, to answer the question, on days that I do nothing- yes I feel useless and boring. But on days that I manage to create a life that feels like I am part of something wonderful, contributing to the world, active, creating something beautiful- then my freedom is a great joy to me.

I don't think that earning money is the only way that people do something valuable.

I pay plenty of tax.

Do you.

You are the main character in your story.

If someone resents you, they are not worthy of you. As long as you know you would support anyone in the same position then I dont think you have anything to feel guilty about.

If you'd judge them, them judge yourself similarly. But I bet you wouldn't. Or you wouldn't be asking the question. So if you'd be kind to someone else, then be kind to yourself too!

I lived like this for a few years before I had dcs in my 30s, and I was pretty happy with it. I live in London and enjoy culture like galleries and lectures, and a time-consuming hobby, so there was plenty to keep my days busy - I was rarely at home through the day. I was studying and having medical treatment for some of the time too. I'm a sahm now to young dcs, and they will be adults when I'm 60, so I'll be looking after teens in my 50s but while they're in secondary school I'll have enough time to spend my days mostly as I please. I'm financially independent and pay any taxes due, and don't feel any sense of shame in not contributing. I prefer to spend my spare time doing leisure activities for my own interests and wellbeing, than volunteering.
But I'm aware that others are judgemental so
I'm quite cagey about our financial situation and tend to let people assume that I'm working (it's unusual to be a sahm in our area, even for very wealthy families).

Thanks to the posters who answered

I don't think I'd be entitled to any benefits, but I don't need any anyway

in terms of jealousy or resentment that might happen, yeah I probably just need to be tougher and more confident. It just seems weird to say to people that I don't do anything

Maybe there's also a psychological issue there as well that I feel like I'm doing something wrong

I thought about studying, but honestly, I've been there and done that and I don't really want to work hard again. If I was going to then I'd want to be paid for it. So I don't fancy studying either.

it's stupid because I dreamed about early retirement, but if it comes about a bit earlier that should be good news. I feel a bit freaked out though.

I gave up worrying about what other people think a long time ago. I am sure people do judge me. I don't look obviously unwell now so I am sure plenty of people are shocked when I say I'm retired. But I don't need to justify myself to anyone, and nor do you.
I actually found it worse when I was on long term sick leave. Then I felt I couldn't win. Seen outside the house whilst on sick leave ? Well you can't be that ill, when will you be back at work? Known to be staying at home in bed? Come on, pull yourself together. You'll never get better that way. Have you tried yoga...
Once I'd actually taken ill health retirement, whilst the finality was a bit hard to take at first there was a sense of relief about having made a definite decision. I expect some people look down on me but nobody whose opinion actually matters to me does. You need to do what is right for you and the people who care about you will understand that. Ignore everyone else.

I can see why lying about it would be an appealing option, but why the hell should you?

I make something up on occasion if its someone I’ll never see again and it’ll get me out of there without the third degree.

If I’m stuck with people all day, say at an art event or workshop and they ask what I do or if I have children I just say (breezily) that I came out to get a break from all that and ask what they have on their needles, if they’ve been to such and such an exhibition or what they’d like their next project to be.

Don’t get sucked in. Its pointless.

I was bullied out of my job aged 58. I fully intended to get another and had several interviews. Then Covid struck and I was diagnosed with bowel cancer. I had treatment and then put on surveillance. More lockdown then cancer came back so I had surgery and more surveillance. By this time I am 62 and although I wanted a job a combination of anxiety and a crippling lack of self confidence meant it never happened. Then last year I started getting bad hip and back pain. It turned out the cancer treatment had wrecked my hip bones so I’ve had to have 2 hip replacement surgeries this year. Now age 64 and pretty disabled I’ve given up job hunting and accepted that I will not work again but I’ve still got 3 years until state pension age.

My mum retired at 50 and has been determined to do as little as possible ever since.

While it sounds lovely in theory, unfortunately watching her physical, cognitive and social decline ever since has put me right off the idea.

I will of course retire from fulltime work, ideally in my early 60s but I will always make sure I have stuff to do and a reason to get out of bed every day.

@HoskinsChoice a lot of posters who aren’t working but aren’t quite yet at retirement age will still be contributing to society as many will be volunteers at various charities/organisations. Most of these organisations rely on people like this. Many will be unpaid carers for elderly relatives or providing childcare (or both)

And if they are able to live this life due to earning sufficient income when younger or having a partner earning sufficient income taxes will still be being paid towards services

Presumably these people pay taxes on: pensions, some savings interest, most purchases. And road tax, fuel duty, council tax are all things.....

Hardly freeloaders.

You can still not work but pay tax. I'm 54 and don't work, but I do pay tax and I do have a purpose! I'm very busy with shared interests with DH, raising teenagers, caring for elderly mum and looking after the dog. Never time to sit around!

I tried it for 6 months when DH retired. We moved abroad to a much cheaper cost of living .
I was bored shitless by month 5 and found myself a part time job, only 18 hours per week over 4 days but I need the structure and I really enjoy working.

Look into it anyway. If you need them one day, it's easier to access the system if you've been in it before.
Make it your project for next week.
It sometimes makes it easier for anyone connected to you and your tax code also. So it's not just for you. You could be helping someone else by looking into it. Or telling them about it. Noone knows what a conversation sparks.

If you feel you're doing something wrong then perhaps start by doing something that you feel is right. You don't have to volunteer. You don't have to study. You don't have to work.
What would you like to see grow? Do that for ten minutes. Look into it. Did you feel better? If not, pick something else next week. You don't have to do it now. Try it next week.

You don't have to though. You pay taxes already on what you spend. But if you're thinking about it, start with looking into it.

I grew tomatoes last year, edging the street. It felt awesome to see kids picking them. The little things are worth just as much as the big things.

Before you take others' comments too personally, perhaps that poster is responding to the actual OP which specifically mentions 'doing nothing all day' and having no obligations at all.

But that's what she THINKS she's doing.
She might actually be doing a hell of a lot.

Everyone is a net contributor.

It's just not all contributions are measurable in our current society.

She might be doing something she can't even guess at yet, but you can bet your arse shes doing it. Because that's how humans work. We feed off each other. None of us would exist or achieve without the sacrifices of others. She just can't see what that is yet.

Out of curiosity what is your job?
My plan at retirement is to do some volunteering in care homes, but I'm counting down to not being tied to employment.

Out of curiosity what is your job?
My plan at retirement is to do some volunteering in care homes, but I'm counting down to not being tied to employment.

I know someone. My cousin did really well for himself. He is privately wealthy, paid off his house, car and retired early 40s. He made a name for himself in his field and his work and hobby (stock market). He doesn’t have a partner or children.

I’m very happy for him. He does not seem stressed and that he has time to rest and enjoy life. He isn’t a traveller though. He just enjoys being a homebody. That’s his path and life.

My life is opposite with the mortgage, DH, DC and full-time work. I envy the quiet he may have especially after a day of chaos and noise from morning to night. But I know if I’m not busy, that I dwell and my MH takes a dive. I’m better off being busy. I think I would enjoy part-time work as a middle ground.

Edited as I hit the post button too fast.