Warning: this post may cause a little envy… but only a tiny bit 😏

[Flowerofdestiny]

Does anyone in their 50s actually exist who does nothing all day?

I feel a bit silly asking this, but I’ve been wondering…

Does anyone in their 50s exist whose kids are grown, who doesn’t work full-time, and literally has days completely free of obligations?

I’m genuinely curious: is it as boring as it sounds, or actually a little paradise?

I feel a bit nosy for asking, but I’d love honest answers 😅

That’s totally different - you still work 3 days a week.

I'm 55 and could do bugger all other than housework if I wanted to. 1 adult DC and 1 soon to be adult. Don't work and haven't for 19 years ( did previously work for 18 years in finance )

I'm an elected local councillor, a community volunteer and am also on the committee of a WI so actually get very little time to do nothing!

I much prefer being busy. I struggled for a couple of years when the kids started to no longer need me as much and I hadn't yet found something else to do with my time. ( I gave up trying to find a job - no one wanted me!) I did get quite down in the dumps for a while.

The vitriol is plain old resentment.

I'm 56 and I would absolutely hate to be unemployed.

In fact I don't even plan to retire until my 70s because I love my job, although I'm sure that would change if my health took a nosedive.

I am older, akways thought I would carry on working well into my 70s in a self employed job I loved, selling art in our high street gallery. But, downturn in high street footfall forced a closure and have now not worked for 7 years. Absolutlely love it. Kept busy with activities, family, occassional holidays, not as many as I thought we would take, but well up on when we were working. We take longer to do any tasks, but enjoy them more. We are in the process of buying a car, and its a luxury to be able to take our time, take several different models for test drives, read up and watch youtubes on all our short list. I think if we had stopped working in our 50s we would have found it more difficult, but then, I enjoyed my work.

if your parents are that financially savvy, as we are, they will be ensuring that you and any siblings are well taken care of so don’t feel too sorry for yourselves.

I can’t think of anything worse than believing that paid employment is your only purpose in life. I mean, I completely understand not wanting to sit in an armchair and rot away until you die, but surely there’s something more in your life than work? Something that grabs at you and fills you with excitement?

Due to a combination of bastard circumstances and some unwise life choices I made 30 odd years ago, I can’t envisage ever being in a position to retire but if I had a lottery win, I’d be cartwheeling out the door to enjoy every single minute of life.

I’m a feminist and had a great career (and children who somehow thrived academically and emotionally with a little input from me).
Now I’ve retired I can potter for England and generally do what I want when I want - slightly curtailed by grown up children who now live nearby (despite leaving the area for uni/first jobs etc) …. the big difference is we now have GC and spend massive amounts of time with them which is absolutely wonderful now (but would have probably driven me up the wall when I was in my 20s and 30s) How I’ve changed!!

Surely retirement after many years of hard work vs not working for many, many years are two different things? One I hugely respect, the other less so.

I don’t do nothing exactly, I have a livery yard and do my own horses in the morning then normally ride for an hour or so. DH runs his business from home and the staff work from here too so there’s always people coming and going (as well as gossip to be had and cups of tea). I don’t knit, read or crochet but I do walk the dogs, occasionally bake and I cook from scratch every day, I also have a large garden and grow fruit and veg. I don’t have obligations and I’m free to do what I like. Is it paradise to some people? Probably. Do I feel guilty? Absolutely not.

I’m not educated on economics or anything like that but I worry about the next generation not having final salary pensions or lump sums from employers. It all feels so unfair to me.

Edited to add I was lucky enough to retire earlier this year at 55, I’m not bored and fully intend to enjoy time to myself after bringing 3 children up and working full time for nearly 40 years.

I’m really wary of it to be honest. Someone I know hasn’t worked for over 45 years since she was early 30s. Having kids gave her a focus for 20 odd years and then the other 25, she’s had not much at all to occupy her. I appreciate that is a bit of a choice as you can have hobbies etc.

She is riddled with anxiety, almost relishes being unwell, cannot go out without being accompanied / driven, isn’t able to just out for a walk by herself (not sure if that one is physical or emotional). Can’t remember her ever going to the shop by herself for example. very enmeshed with her adult children and wants to see them multiple times per week, and speak on the phone every day.

I’m very independent and the thought of being that way by choice terrifies me! So I’ll work as long as I can even if part-time eventually.

I am 62 now. I retired 4 years ago and basically now live a life of leisure. My husband died 5 years ago and I had 8 months off, caring for him the last few months and then grieving. When I went back to work, the work had changed significantly. With 1 thing and another I could no longer cope and had no desire to anymore. I spent some serious time adjusting to retirement as I never thought I would retire but all the motivation was gone. Luckily I am on small acreage and so the critters and the land give me lots to do.
No kids. I too am happy to have the time to do things I wished I could have done when spinning plates was the normal to pay the bills.

I'm 62 and a self- employed professional. I work an average of about 40 to 50 hours a week (nearly all from home with a little international travel). I love my life. Pottering around and not having meaningful work would kill me. (Well I am the main family breadwinner and still have a child at home so not much choice!).

I dont.

Eldest five have done the decent thing and fucked off. OK two are at Uni but are unlikely to live back here again for career reasons.

Youngest is 14, I am still working but I am also a carer for my 70+ parents with serious health issues so with them and DD, I am part time. Thankfully the mortgage is gone so I guess that puts me ahead of the game.

Realistically I wont retire until my state pension kicks in at 67 (I am, thanks to a few days difference in my birth date, just scraping through the 67/68 argy bargy)

Nc as outing.

I have worked my whole life. Since age 12 with afterschool/Saturday jobs. Then through Uni and immediately after started a long career.
3 years ago I was widowed very suddenly and was signed of work. I eventually took a years sabbatical and while I wanted to return, my employer refused a flexible request due to a change of business circumstances meaning I was physically unable to return to work as a sole parent to a bereaved primary age child. After 25 years as a top perfromer.
Despite being a FTSE 100 company, and being a major employer in the UK they ignored legal requirements and their own company policy and as a result I was made redundant, which Was my preference as I had to go anyway and so may as well have taken the money. Had redundancy not been offered I had started the preparation for tribunal.
Due to our financial situation following my husband's death, independent source of income and the redundancy I no longer need to work, I'm 46.
I spend.my days between the school run doing not very much and I can tell.you that it absolutely is not what you think it will be. I'm bored to teats, lack motivation and my mental health has suffered. I'd.like to return to work but find it difficult to find a role that I would feel good at that fits around my parental responsibilities. I feel trapped for now, and while this won't be forever it is difficult right now. Age isn't on my side, AI developments is reducing the.kind of work I have previously done and I feel I no longer fit anywhere. On top of profound grief, the loss of my career and identity has been difficult.

@Horses7 Fellow feminist here. I aspire to be like you ❤️
I threw a curveball for my own mum - had two children from first marriage (now almost adults) but now I also have a 5 yo! My mum and my little girl are best friends; mum says she retired just to get busy again with her granddaughter!

The idea of not working and earning fills me with dread.

@HoskinsChoice do you not realise that revenue is raised via the use of services and by buying goods? Retire, drink alchol and eat take-aways, you'll be doing your bit.
I don't know anyone who does nothing, most people are helping neighbours, with childcare, helping older relatives, volunteering etc. It's the grandparents propping up the extra stuff in schools, community groups etc. My DP is retired through dusabilities, but he still drives his Mum about, daytime hospital visits for various family and friends, gives lifts to neighbours etc. My neighbour is disabled, I walk her dog, she takes in parcels for the street, happily has locked out teens sitting in her's, feeds people's pets and does washing and ironing for a few relatives, who work long hours. It's sad that people only count paid employment as contributing.

Am early 60s and have been made redundant recently. Fair to say our,then new employer was a revolting creature who ripped all the assets from the home,stole our pension,made vulnerable people homeless…an absolute cu#t .
Am actually still processing the mental damage he did to me,residents and colleagues!!!
Redundancy service has finally recompensed the absolute horrors we went through,am now enjoying the rewards that we so deserved and so relieved for my colleagues.Many have found new jobs but I am just going to wait now, reflect and maybe look for a job after new year ,if I can afford it I will just do volunteering work .

I started work at 15 (Saturday work), full time from 18 until 51, then had no income until taking my pension at 55.

Since stopping work, we’ve travelled a fair bit, spent some money on the house, and just taken life easy. I do voluntary work, which I’m lucky enough to enjoy and seem to be good at - that’s been really important for me. More recently, I’m spending more time taking care of an elderly parent, which is effectively full-time, but that was always likely to happen sooner or later.

Like a PP, I don’t revel in my good fortune, but nor do I tolerate any ‘boomer’ bullshit. I worked hard for 36 years and have done voluntary work for 42 years, with no plans to stop until such time as circumstances mean I can’t. I count my blessing, pay my taxes and pay my way.

Nah, not for me. I'd love it for about a week and then I'd be purposeless and bored. And then it'd turn into depression. I'd like to work less but no less than maybe 15 hours a week.

@Widow90210 I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and all of the tough things you've had to face. You sound like a great mum who has done so well to hold everything together, and I hope you find something work-wise again that helps makes things easier for you 💐

I am so sorry.

PArt of me I have to admit, wishes you had taken the bastards to the cleaners in a tribunal anyway.

Do you have the time and funds to see a career coach? My cousin was in similar ish situation (without the bereavement) and it was invaluable to her. It helped her see that her skills werent as niche as she thought. She returned to work but in a different sector and ended up setting up freelance as a consultant with her skills being used acrossed many sectors. She earns mega bucks but the important thing to her is a purpose and reason to get dressed in the morning beyond her kids (who are now flown and grown).

You do realise that you still pay tax on savings interest, pension and investment income don't you? VAT, insurance premium, council tax, VED, CGT etc etc. The list is endless.

Just because someone doesn't work does not mean they are not contributing. If they have sufficient funds to not work, they probably pay more tax than someone on an average wage claiming UC top up.

"On top of profound grief, the loss of my career and identity has been difficult."
I too struggled with the mix of grief and retirement.