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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I look OBESE? Pic included

274 replies

letmehaveathink · 23/10/2025 21:39

So apparently I’m obese according to the NHS website. I definitely have a belly but I don’t feel obese! What do you think? I’m worried I’m deluded!

OP posts:
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6
NimbleDreamer · 23/10/2025 22:14

letmehaveathink · 23/10/2025 21:47

I’m 5ft 3 and 11 stone 4 pounds. I know I’m a bit heavy, but fuck me, obese seems harsh! But I don’t know if I’m deluded

You are not obese at 5ft 3 and 11st 4 in. That is my exact height and weight and my BMI is 28, which is overweight yes but not obese.

Geronimooing · 23/10/2025 22:15

GelatoForMe · 23/10/2025 22:12

Tbh the calculations said I am obese when was pregnant. I mentioned it to the midwife who laughed her heart out and said: you are absolutely normal beautiful woman. If you were truly obese, we would tell you....

the bloody BMI said 30

How many weeks pregnant? We shouldn't use BMI for pregnancy, it's a stupid thing to do.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 23/10/2025 22:15

You aren't 'morbidly obese', but knowing what it takes to be officially obese, yes you could be obese.

I think when society hears 'obese' they go straight to - kind of - Snag tights + size models mental images. As a 'You're not obese are you?' obese person myself, I know there are many of us.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 23/10/2025 22:15

letmehaveathink · 23/10/2025 21:47

I’m 5ft 3 and 11 stone 4 pounds. I know I’m a bit heavy, but fuck me, obese seems harsh! But I don’t know if I’m deluded

Where do you get ‘obese’ from ? I looked at your photo and thought you look a similar size to me, and sure enough you are my height and just a couple of pounds heavier than me. My BMI is around 28 which comes in the overweight category. Obese is BMI over 30.

SliceofTosst · 23/10/2025 22:15

Absolutely don't look obese.

XenoBitch · 23/10/2025 22:15

GelatoForMe · 23/10/2025 22:12

Tbh the calculations said I am obese when was pregnant. I mentioned it to the midwife who laughed her heart out and said: you are absolutely normal beautiful woman. If you were truly obese, we would tell you....

the bloody BMI said 30

Well, it is no surprise to be classed as obese when you are carrying a growing baby.

FullLondonEye · 23/10/2025 22:16

BMI really is not reliable. It can be used as an indicator of risk but it is too blunt an instrument to get too hung up on. It doesn’t take into account what can be vast differences of build.

As an example, I have a friend who is the same height as me but we have completely different builds. We are both well within the healthy weight category judged by BMI so I don’t have a personal axe to grind against it. However when said friend and I are the same weight it carries completely differently. Same height but at the same weight I have bones sticking out, a gaunt face and collarbones like razorblades. Sitting can be uncomfortable due to my arse bones being too prominent. She however, again at the same weight and height looks overly padded. She has a layer of fat all over - she almost looks like she’s wearing some kind of Shallow Hal fat suit and there are certainly no visible bones. If you pushed her over she’d bounce back up. Make that work with BMI 🤷‍♀️.

JustMe2026 · 23/10/2025 22:16

Jee whizz then I must be clinically obese..that's why I ignore all of that lol

BeerOrStout · 23/10/2025 22:17

It's not a clear enough photo to make a judgement.

However, it's not about how you look really, it's about the risks to your health by being overweight. So BMI is relevant for most people who aren't professional athletes with loads of muscle.

Strangerthanfictions · 23/10/2025 22:17

pIum · 23/10/2025 22:06

'BMI is often not accurate' is such a cop out. Yes it's better at a population level, no it won't work for the most muscular athletes, yes it skews a bit when you consider the very tall compared to the very short, but for an average height, middle aged woman who doesn't lift heavy weights, it's going to be pretty close. Doesn't matter if her BMI is a point above or below what it's been calculated at if you took other things into consideration, she's still too heavy.

No OP, you don't look obese at all. You look nice. Hopefully your weight has no effect on your health at all. But you can't argue with numbers and increased risk so it's worth considering if it matters to you enough to make changes.

That's just not true. I've dropped dress sizes before from reasonable excercise and moderate resistance and weight work as well as changing diet but barely seen movement on the scales along the way. I've actually Looked heavier at lower weights because my body composition was poor. People also have different builds and frame sizes, you can genuinely be big boned which means you can be the same weight and height as someone but appear leaner, my family famously carry weight in their limbs so can look small in the body, very small waist and torso and if arms and legs are hidden or balanced with the right clothing and smaller body showcased they look so might smaller than their weight would suggest

PrimSec · 23/10/2025 22:18

As many have pointed out, you’ve miscalculated. The nhs bmi calculator puts you firmly in the overweight category. I suspect you didn’t answer the ethnicity question correctly as if you put Asian instead of white you would indeed be borderline obese.

BeerOrStout · 23/10/2025 22:19

BMI really is not reliable. It can be used as an indicator of risk but it is too blunt an instrument to get too hung up on. It doesn’t take into account what can be vast differences of build.

This viewpoint tends to be put forward by people who want to avoid knowing they are overweight.

For most people it's a guide.
Height is included, so it's not just weight.

I think most people can use their common sense and if they are above BMI 25 they will usually have some weight to lose and more so if it's over 30.

LadyVP · 23/10/2025 22:20

When I adopted my little girl and had my medical as part of the process I was told I was verging on being obese ….. I’m 5.6 and was a size 12!!! Comfortably too 🤦🏼‍♀️

anonymoususer9876 · 23/10/2025 22:20

I think the important thing here isn’t what you look like but how healthy you are. Being outside of the healthy BMI range increases risk health wise. BMI is a blunt tool though and a quick barometer, unless you want to get a more in-depth health assessment privately or even an NHS health check if you are eligible.
https://www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/nhs-health-check/

nhs.uk

NHS Health Check

The NHS Health Check is a health check-up for adults in England aged 40 to 74.

https://www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/nhs-health-check/

BeerOrStout · 23/10/2025 22:21

LadyVP · 23/10/2025 22:20

When I adopted my little girl and had my medical as part of the process I was told I was verging on being obese ….. I’m 5.6 and was a size 12!!! Comfortably too 🤦🏼‍♀️

Dress sizes are irrelevant.
They are now vanity sized.

Years ago a size 10 was a 24 inch waist.
Now many brands are calling a 30 inch waist a 10!

Dragonfly97 · 23/10/2025 22:21

letmehaveathink · 23/10/2025 21:47

I’m 5ft 3 and 11 stone 4 pounds. I know I’m a bit heavy, but fuck me, obese seems harsh! But I don’t know if I’m deluded

I'm the same height & weight as you, maybe 2lbs lighter, but you look better than I do!! You don't look obese to me. I was classed as obese as well, it's a pisser. I'm trying to lose the weight from my middle, I never used to carry weight there, but I'm 60 now and as soon as menopause hits that's where the weight lands!

stealthsquirrelnutkin · 23/10/2025 22:22

5ft 3 and 11 stone 4 pounds gives a BMI of 28, which puts you in the overweight category, not yet obese.

The NHS says that a BMI of 30 or above is classed as obese. BMI between 25.0 – 29.9 is classed as overweight. The healthy weight range is between BMI 18.5 – 24.9. Anything below 18.5 is underweight.

I just asked Google what the average BMI is in the UK and it says "The average BMI in the UK is approximately 27,6 kg/m2
for both men and women in England." Which explains why you look perfectly normal and average in the photo, it's because you are pretty much bang on average compared to what we are used to seeing.

BeerOrStout · 23/10/2025 22:24

letmehaveathink · 23/10/2025 21:47

I’m 5ft 3 and 11 stone 4 pounds. I know I’m a bit heavy, but fuck me, obese seems harsh! But I don’t know if I’m deluded

The lowest healthy BMI (18.5) for your height is around 7st 10.
And that has a range up to about 9st.

So yes, it looks like you have a couple of stones to lose.

Illegally18 · 23/10/2025 22:24

letmehaveathink · 23/10/2025 21:39

So apparently I’m obese according to the NHS website. I definitely have a belly but I don’t feel obese! What do you think? I’m worried I’m deluded!

No you don't. But as the long cardigan is hanging open, it's not very clear. But no, I don't think you are.

pIum · 23/10/2025 22:25

Strangerthanfictions · 23/10/2025 22:17

That's just not true. I've dropped dress sizes before from reasonable excercise and moderate resistance and weight work as well as changing diet but barely seen movement on the scales along the way. I've actually Looked heavier at lower weights because my body composition was poor. People also have different builds and frame sizes, you can genuinely be big boned which means you can be the same weight and height as someone but appear leaner, my family famously carry weight in their limbs so can look small in the body, very small waist and torso and if arms and legs are hidden or balanced with the right clothing and smaller body showcased they look so might smaller than their weight would suggest

But none of those things makes enough of a difference to make the numbers not work. The range for a healthy weight is absolutely massive. If you're on the borderline between healthy and overweight, you could argue your body composition means you sit one side or the other but as a general guide it's not far off. The woman pictured is clearly fairly average - not extremely short, tall, muscular or an unusual frame either way. She is exactly the sort of person BMI as a rough guide should work for.

soupyspoon · 23/10/2025 22:25

Strangerthanfictions · 23/10/2025 22:12

Does ethnicity affect BMI? Is that due to frame size or something like that?

Ethnicity affects your risk factors from overweight or obesity. Its about body make up. Black and Asian people are more at risk from weight related disorders at lower weights than caucasians, so to be a stone overweight is more risky for south Asian people than it is for a white European person, on average. BMI takes that into account.

aWeeCornishPastie · 23/10/2025 22:26

No you don’t

Greenmouldycheese · 23/10/2025 22:27

I wouldn't say so at all.

JMSA · 23/10/2025 22:27

Definitely not!

BeerOrStout · 23/10/2025 22:27

I think the easiest way to say if you're overweight by much is to strip off and look in the mirror.

People think 'obese' means someone who weighs 30 stone and is the size of a house.

Sadly, that's not so and roughly 1:4 people are obese.

You sometimes only need to be carrying a couple of stone extra to fall into that category.