Sensitive - Do people believe that male rape is worse than if a woman is raped?

[Spookyseason13]

There was a soap on last night and it featured a man being raped. It was quite graphic and obviously a horrific thing to happen to anyone in real life.

It’s being discussed a lot by the shows fans online. From the comments I’ve read, a lot have either said that they couldn’t watch it as it was too upsetting, or saying how the storyline was too much, or just generally saying how awful it was.

I’m interested to know if people feel that somehow a man being raped is worse than a woman being raped.

The reason I ask is because sure I feel that sexual violence against women is fairly normalised and commonplace entertainment on TV and doesn’t seem to attract the same level of shock and horror. Often the woman is even blamed for putting herself into a dangerous situation.

Personally, I rate them the same.

There might be more abhorrence of male rape due to the reasonably high chance of it also violating a person's sexual preferences.

I can well believe for individual boys thats the case and I am so sorry for your sons experience, I really truly am.

I just think if it’s on a large scale people seem to sympathise more with boys than girls. I really don’t mean to diminish your sons experience when I say that. I’ve seen people express more disgust at bacha bazi than they do at underage marriage of girls when it comes to Afghanistan. There seems to be more visceral disgust at the rape of men and boys than of girls.

I’m really sorry your son didn’t get the help and support he should have. I do think male rape victims face stigma and barriers in a way that’s unique to them. I’m talking about public perception rather than the impact on individual victims.

Just coming on to say I’m so so fucking sorry for pp / sons who have suffered. I cannot imagine how horrendous it must have been.

This is utterly sick.

God forbid your son ever goes through this. You even sound proud of yourself, “daring” to tell your own DS that if he were raped it still wouldn’t be as bad as if he were a woman.

I simply cannot believe you would do this. You’ve genuinely made me feel sick. Rape is rape. It’s not a competition to prove whose was worst.

I think there's a view that women's bodies are designed for men to have intercourse with. It's a natural act and part of their natural, everyday role in life, and it's natural and even good for men to want to have intercourse with women. Rape - having intercourse with a woman without her consent - isn't so very different from this everyday act, especially as arguments are often made about whether she did in fact consent or not. Whereas buggery of a man is seen as an unnatural act which, if done to a "normal" man, must be violent, and emasculates him. In the Catholic church, it's said that they took the sexual abuse of girls far less seriously than the sexual abuse of boys. Priests weren't supposed to have intercourse with anyone, but doing it with girls was seen as essentially a natural urge.

Yes I have

and I am making a point about the general wider issues in our society and the deep rooted misogyny this plays out in the system

😡😡😡

How do we know male rape is less common? Perhaps it is not reported.

I think thats right, thats what I was thinking, theres an element of “unnaturalness”. I don’t know if I would call it homophobia but it’s something parallel to it. When a gay man is raped by a man is that seen as less bad than a heterosexual man being raped by a man and I think for women do people care if the woman was straight or gay? I don’t think it’s seen “as bad”.

It’s difficult to articulate but yes I think you are right.

I am not sure. But having seen the scenes you watched OP, it was pretty traumatic to watch. The comments online did make me wonder too.

It may not be the first time such a story was told on the show, but it was shocking, and a level unexpected from them - I had to skip a bit, it was so upsetting and it has stuck with me all day.

According to Rape Crisis, It's 1 in 4 women and 1 in 18 men. That's from the age of 16.
Rape, sexual assault and child sexual abuse statistics | Rape Crisis England & Wales

Thing is they are presumably stats from reported rapes. I think there are probably many men/ boys that do not report. For lots of reasons.

Undoubtedly there are. But there will also be many women and girls who don't report. The data trends will be reinforced by anonymous surveys and the like too.

Yes. I agree re women and girls but I think there is such a long way to go for men and boys still.

No.

The information on unreported rape is from a crime survey, which of course relies upon the right mix of demographic and upon honest answers. Apparently 80% of men who have experienced rape do not report it. Slightly more, just over 83% of women who have been raped do not report.

I think if nothing else this thread shows there’s a long way to go all round, for men and boys and also for women and girls, both in the way rape is handled both legally and socially, and in the way children are being brought up to look at rape and violence. My logical brain knows no kind of rape is any more acceptable than another but the fact most of us seem to be more surprised and shocked by male rape than female for whatever reasons just shows how inured we have become to sexual violence towards women. How awful.

And I completely disagree and think it’s the other way round. Disgust towards men is worse with added stigma on top and even less access to support.

This whole thread of pitching one against the other is hugely offensive with ignorant posters using it to further their own views.

Then you shouldn’t post such ignorant and completely incorrect and offensive comments. It perpetuates the huge injustices, stigma and lack of access to support that men and boys face after being raped.

I think it’s far less expected so more shocking. Girls / women have always been warned to be careful or walked home. No one worried about males for years.

The thread title makes it crystal clear what it was going to be about.

And in addition to the stigma of male rape and lack of suppprt there is an ever lasting lack of understanding men have to deal with when accessing therapy and health care. My son will never be able to tolerate intimate care or examination by men, he’ll never be able to tolerate therapy from men or sleep in the same room with men he doesn’t know.To him it feels like being raped all over again. Many/ most women who have been raped will feel exactly the same. For women there is understanding and accommodation. For men you’re scrutinised, you have to explain why over and again, you’re looked at as being weird or a possible threat to women which is horrific for those handling childhood abuse and highly invasive. Often these traumas aren’t even accommodated so just think what it would be like for a raped woman to have to tolerate sharing her worse experience in therapy or intimate care / medical appointments with men on top of all the stigma, trauma and zero support.

Your pitting us against each other
Rape is rape .it's about violence and control .it's about one person having power over another .
Why are people answering this ,saying either one is worse ..
They are not worse ,neither is worse ,they are both a human having a vile act committed against them ,both rape of either sex is abborant and needs support and counselling to get through

Both are bad. End of

You’re not wrong, OP.
I’ve recently noticed that an increasing number of film clips on my Fb reels are normalising violence against women as an inevitable part of the story being told, and have started blocking this content.
Violence between men, however, is normally portrayed as “noble” combat situations, so against this normalised backdrop, I can see how some may be more desensitised to male on female rape, and more shocked by the male on male equivalent.
And that sucks…