Sensitive - Do people believe that male rape is worse than if a woman is raped?

[Spookyseason13]

There was a soap on last night and it featured a man being raped. It was quite graphic and obviously a horrific thing to happen to anyone in real life.

It’s being discussed a lot by the shows fans online. From the comments I’ve read, a lot have either said that they couldn’t watch it as it was too upsetting, or saying how the storyline was too much, or just generally saying how awful it was.

I’m interested to know if people feel that somehow a man being raped is worse than a woman being raped.

The reason I ask is because sure I feel that sexual violence against women is fairly normalised and commonplace entertainment on TV and doesn’t seem to attract the same level of shock and horror. Often the woman is even blamed for putting herself into a dangerous situation.

i guess you are referring to a police inquiry and we are all well aware of the deep rooted misogyny within the police

this is only part of the process if the case makes it to court, there is then judges numerous have made sexist comments about woman leading on men and even children doing so, prosecutors who will use every opportunity to raise questions about the women’s actions and reputation as this is so deeply embedded into our society that men can’t help themselves if they are lead on and then there is the jury and how many are easily swayed because they themselves have misogynistic views

and the press if it becomes public certain areas of the press often treat women victims of sexual violence with respect and dignity

Not many victims who were raped survived the 7 Oct terror attack in Israel. But there are some accounts of men being gang-raped. It wasn’t because the rapists were gay, it was about power and humiliation. I think it’s interesting that very few people know there were male victims too. It certainly plays to this conversation regarding perceptions of male rape.

I’m so sorry to read the accounts in this thread of people and/or their relatives who were raped. I hope everyone is in a better place now.

I think men will see male rape as worse than female rape. My DH and I listen to true crime often and he is always horrified by the crimes involving male victims of sexual assault and murder, whereas he isn’t as bothered by crimes with female victims.

I don't agree with that, if that was the case then there would never be a case of women and children first.

It used to be the case under English law that male anal rape was considered a more serious crime than anal rape of a woman. The maximum sentence was life for raping a man (same as vaginal rape of a woman) and 10 years for raping a woman.

And there used to be more stigma attached to male victims that seemed strongly related to homophobia. The way women are disbelieved and the report being attributed to regret was similar for men with police frequently using homophobic slurs against male victims. So they were disbelieved and also marked as gay. With anal sex being a crime that disbelief opened them up to prosecution too.

The law changed in the 90s(?) and attitudes to homosexuality have changed significantly too. But I can see why, on average, it might have been even harder for men to report or process rape than for women to. Not because the violation of the rape was worse but because society was even harsher to male rape victims than female.

When it comes to a portrayal of rape on TV that is done in a way that it leaves little room for rape myths to discount the lack of consent, I suspect there are a lot of men, and possibly some women who still harbour the idea that sex is something that men do to women and so also see in the rape of a man the taking of his masculinity. In that way they might see it as “worse”, possibly while still not feeling empathy for him or seeing that their attitudes are what construct the loss of masculinity narrative.

Actually I’m not so sure about the sentencing difference I mention. Sorry, too late to edit.

What? I didn’t say any such thing or even close to it. Stop projecting.

Women do also get anally raped. It’s no easier for them than it is for a man.

Well if rape is worse if you can get pregnant then logically it must be less if you can't get pregnant. You seem to think the aftermath of pregnancy is the worst aftermath, I disagree I'm pretty sure you'd be offered the morning after pill for a start and I think the aftermath for a child who isn't fertile would be horrific.

Yeah this really.
One isn't 'worse' than the other.

Yes i meant to add that in my original reply. Not only is it grim its also in bad taste and goady.

I completely disagree with your opinion. It’s not a competition to see who suffers more. There are different aspects to female and male rape but they are both as impactful

I never said rape is worse if you can get pregnant or anything even close to that! I commented that I saw another poster’s statement in a different light to some of you and can understand the point I felt she was trying to make. I didn’t even say her point of view is right or wrong so again, don’t project that onto me.

Pregnancy or not isn’t the only aftermath of rape and I don’t know why some people are trying to quantify levels of horror here - HIV or other STIs are another potential aftermath of rape, who is to decide what’s worse? I didn’t feel the other poster was trying to judge the totality of this issue purely based upon pregnancy that’s all, but was using it as an argument to present another point of view to her son. Maybe she wasn’t and is centring pregnancy as the weight of the gavel but neither of us can be sure and putting words into my mouth is not going to make it any clearer for anyone. Yes, the subject is controversial but also interesting and this thread doesn’t need to be a race to the bottom like so many others.

I know it's about power etc, but doesn't the fact remain that straight men (so most men) will rape women (if they're the sort of person who would rape anyone), and gay men will rape men?

And that happens with men too.I’ve seen it happen with my son and we were told it’s common. Homophobia is rife in all areas of society.

Honestly @Elsvieta I don’t know enough to be sure. I’d take an educated guess that if the motivation for the rape is sex / desire then yes, rapists will rape someone from the sex they’re attracted to. If it’s about power and humiliation then perhaps not.

Of course it's not worse.

I just think people are used to seeing violence against women on screen so it's not as shocking.

From the war time accounts I’ve seen, the soldiers who rape men will also rape women.

Doesn't work that way. They see it as the ultimate disgrace - not sexual.

It has also been used in some football hooligan firms in Eastern Europe.

I am sorry what happened to your son

and yes I agree non heterosexual men will be treated as badly as women are by the system at all stages I should have stated this

but I do not believe heterosexual men are

I think last nights is being discussed so much because it was extremely violent and came out of nowhere in the somewhat erratic storyline. It was totally unnecessary and unlike when they did the Luke story years ago unclear if it will get the follow up and sensitive treatment to how the character is after. It felt like it was just there to shock, not to be a real storyline.

You can’t say that, There is a huge stigma with male rape and there is an idea of oh they must be gay and asked for it.

I find his views very worrying.

Well we shall have to agree to disagree

I never said there wasn’t any stigma or claimed one is worse than the other I said that women are automatically questioned on their behaviour what they were wearing, had they been drinking because deep down there is still a belief by many that men can’t control their sexual urges towards women and it’s women than need to not tempt them.

I do not think this will happen to all men

They’re all questioned on their behaviour .Have you ever sat through a rape prosecution? It’s what the defense do regardless of sex.