My friend is going to end their life by assisted suicide and I'm struggling to tell people

[MegsDancer]

What I mean is that I am struggling with the reality because:

1. I didn't get to say goodbye before they started the journey to do this
2. There is a safeguarding worry that relatives are pressuring the person into it
3. I want to be able to tell my friends and relatives that this is something happening in my life but don't know how

So for example one of my oldest friends contacted me the other day asking how I am and I said 'fine' but I'm not fine at all. And somehow I feel awkward about telling him. Or other friends. Should I keep it to myself/just my therapist? I just don't have the words although I need some support.

I wish I could simply say 'I'm happy for him that he's at peace with the decision'

Why can't you though?

Sadly if he doesn't do this, the outcome doesn't change.

I don't think it needs to be secret, but can also see that it's a terribly hard thing to hear about (as you are finding), and perhaps it is worse while the person is still alive and there's a possibility that they could change their mind. I doubt if there is a 'right' answer to this apart from being guided as far as possible by your friend's wishes. But if you need to talk to a friend, you might find someone who doesn't know this man or his family or friends, and say straightforwardly how upsetting the situation is being for you. Cry if you need to, then talk about something else. It doesn't have to be trauma dumping.

Yes completely concur with you
&it should be an individual's right to choose 💚We wouldn't dream of prolonging our Beloved Pets sufferings so why shouldn't terminally ill folk have the right to choose 🙏💚🙏

I can see more clearly what you mean now, OP. It is a very specific situation you’re in, and very unusual in this country. Seeing some of the ignorant and crass replies here, I can see you’d want to avoid more of that irl. Although this is AIBU, which is truly not the place for such a complex and sensitive issue.

It occurred to me that a lot of people must be facing this kind of grief in Canada, however, so I googled and this organisation exists to support people in your situation:

https://www.bridgec14.org

(That link doesn’t seem to work from here, but if you paste it into google it does.)

Much of the support is online so would hopefully be accessible to you.

You mentioned that your therapist is not familiar with your friend’s illness, but surely that is not necessary in order to support you through your uncertainty and grief? Perhaps a different therapist, possibly one who specialises in grief may be appropriate?

Plus there are others such as https://maidfamilysupport.ca/