If you don't consider life admin to be a thing...

[ruethewhirl]

...then how do you mentally 'label' (so to speak) things like banking and official correspondence?

Not being goady here, genuinely curious. Not a TAAT as such, I see it stated so often on MN that there's 'no such thing' as life admin or the mental load (although I tend to assume the latter refers to slightly different things eg each partner doing their share of things like remembering birthdays, making sure the kids have clean clothes etc). Life admin-wise, part of why I'm bemused by this is that I have a lot of things to take care of in my life that I think definitely count as life admin - not only my own banking, but managing correspondence with my GP's surgery (I have multiple conditions) and also handling my mum's finances at her request (she has Alzheimer's) plus handling her general correspondence and sorting things out on the many occasions her care company drops the ball. 🙄 Oh, and chasing the vet/pet insurance company about insurance claims for our cats that seem to drag on for ever!

And then there are things like handling the correspondence if you switch banks or energy providers, complaining about poor service, managing quotes if you're getting home improvements done... what are these things if not life admin? What do you call them instead?

Is it really so insane to suggest that these types of activities warrant an umbrella term with which to refer to them? Presumably the vast majority of people have at least some of this kind of stuff to do in their day-to-day lives, so it puzzles me when people claim there's no such thing. (And if you're one of them, how do you refer to these tasks?)

YABU: There's no such thing as life admin
YANBU: Yes there is!

It is definitely a lot at times. I like your terminology! 🙂(though sorry to hear about the sadmin)

Yes!! 🙌 I rang at 9:15…popped in a few numbers and got through to an actual person, who then transferred me to the mortgage team. It is an Irish bank so I wonder does that make a difference?😅

Dunno but seriously impressed.

I lived alone for a brief period and it felt endless....car insurance, home insurance, car tax, MOT, bills blah blah. I found it so stressful

but I AM acknowledging there's a lot to do.

I am also pointing out that your attitude towards it makes all the difference, You would have finished all the life admin of the week, possibly 2 weeks, in the time you are spending on this thread.

You don't include MN in your life admin, do you?

The people I see who complain the most about being "busy/ overwhelmed/ drowning in life admin" are also the ones who miraculously will have watched everything on Netflix, and are on internet all day. It's all relative.

I can't imagine ever saying that to anyone though. If I really needed to explain, I would just say sorry, I've got some stuff that I need to sort out, or something along those lines.

But I don't tend to cluster those tasks together in the way that you suggest. The kind of tasks that you mention are the type of thing that I might squeeze into my lunch hour or while I'm getting ready in the morning/in front of the telly at night etc. So I never have a whole afternoon or evening "doing life admin". Maybe that's why it feels to me like less of a thing?

I just hate the term 'life admin'. It's like the new grammatically incorrect term 'overwhelm', it's just insufferable and it annoys the shit out of me when people use it. I call them errands or jobs. They are boring and tiresome and I hate them.

I usually get through this quickly too.

Switch to First Direct.

“Life admin” doesn’t bother me as such but housework is a PITA. I find that more stressful than “life admin”. We’re all different I suppose.

Having a child with SEND increases life admin by about 1000%. I am sure fostering and adopting are similar. Most of the caring for our elderly mum is done by my sister as DH and I have basically a part time job following up the school, looking for a new school, communicating with the LA who make life as insanely difficult as possible, legal processes (tribunal), and juggling multiple NHS and private appointments for DS. At the last count this included 8 different professionals. Need to apply for PIP next, that should be fun. Applying for DLA took DH and I 8 full 'working' (weekend) days each time.

DH actually does the bulk of car, insurance, banking, re mortgage etc.

That's ALSO a thing, but as MN posters will never agree on how often you need to hoover/ change bedsheets and towels, let's not go there 😂

But what is there to think about?

Gutters need cleaning - text..sorted.

Car needs an MOT - call.at lunch time. Sorted.

Payments for school lunches, trip, permissions - all done online on one account. 5 mins on a Sunday evening. Sorted.

Boiler service - a text to the gas man. Sorted.

I didn't/don't sit down and think about any of it. It just needed doing so I did it.

I was a single parent for most of my children's lives and I still didn't consider it a huge chore.

As someone else said, most of it was thought about/decided on/completed whilst I was watching TV or waiting for dinner to cook. I didn't devote evenings or whole days to any of it.

Maybe once a year or so something bigger would come up that needed more time but even supporting my children's student finance applications is/was only.done once a year.

I don't know how anyone can spent hours a day or week every week doing it. There just isn't that much to be done.

But all these things - they aren't working life things, they aren't fun things, they are administrative things in your life that need doing.

Perhaps you have all the time in the world to do these things that need doing whenever they arise, instantaneously perhaps. Many people have to make special time (from somewhere) to be able to do these things. That is when it becomes life admin imo - when something else has to give to enable doing that things that just need doing.

People who don't feel the burden of life admin are probably both time- and flexibility-rich. Lucky them.

For me, it's definitely life admin. It feels a huge weight/mental load. I work in a school, I drive home - these times I can't do any of the things that need doing but I'm making mental lists of things to do (for work and home). When I get home, it is after 5pm and I'm present with my own kids - outside of office working hours many places are closed and the only way to do the things that need doing is online (open all hours yippee 🥴) - but then that is at the detriment of time with my kids which isn't fair to them. Mine are very young, it isn't setting a good example if I ignore them and go straight on my phone to do things as soon as I get in. So it has to wait until after the dinner, after bath time, after bed time, after the washing is hung out and the dishes washed, before I go to bed. That time when energy and enthusiasm to do things that need doing is at the lowest and the list of things to do seems to never end when all I want to do is go to bed. But it needs doing so it gets done. The supermarket online shop, the online banking, ordering the thing for school the week after next and the gift for that party in 2 days, sorting childcare for the holidays and booking after school club, replying to WhatsApp messages from family asking for Christmas lists, the local neighbourhood chat, getting quotes for bathroom tiles and plasterers, emailing the dentist to ask for an appointment because you can't call during the work day, looking up opening times for the pharmacy, meal planning, researching local financial planners, requoting for insurance and sifting through for the best one (see also life insurance, travel insurance, car insurance, home building and contents insurance etc etc). Filing that letter about the GP condition and referral. Checking interest rates at the bank. Checking how much overpayment can be made on the mortgage without incurring fines. Doing whatever else. Individually these things aren't frequent, but when all you have is an hour in an evening a day once a day it does feel relentless. And as soon as one task is complete and you sigh relief for 12 months, another has cropped up. It's exhausting. This is life admin.

@FruitMergeAddict was agreeing with your summary. But yes, as a general post it does depend on whether you are fielding a lot for elderly parents or children. Their needs do add to the mix. I feel like my head is full most days. It's quite anxiety inducing keeping so many plates spinning. Been meaning to look into my own suspected ADHD and menopause issues for goodness knows how many years, but the list is always too long.

Have typed an invoice and booked a flu jab today. Only another 28 items on the to do list!

Context is everything. Yes these tasks exist - whether you categorise them as mental load / life admin or not. And they have grown in complexity since energy / train / phone services became a marketplace.

There can be consequences, possibly severe, if some aren’t dealt with in a timely way, so the fear of not managing them well, or paying over the odds through not finding the best deal, can create stress.

These tasks aren’t an issue for some of us. For people with some disabilities or neurodiversities, problems with literacy, poor organising skills, they can cause anxiety. Also, when life is complex and one has a lot of responsibilities to juggle, having just a little extra to do can feel absolutely overwhelming. I remember when I had a full time job, two young children and a partner with cancer, how I felt it had been a good day if everyone was fed and housed. No one would die if I was late posting a card for auntie Agatha’s birthday.

I feel sorry for non-IT literate elderly people too, who having done these admin tasks in a particular way their whole life, are now being encouraged to do things online, whilst in person services are wound down.

As for partners doing their share, it’s about fairness in division of labour, and is a tangible acknowledgement that your partner values your time.

Well, for starters I’m off work sick today, that’s why I’m on here. And although I’m on MN quite a bit generally, those are the times when I don’t have stuff to do, obviously…

I decided that if "life admin" is not a thing, I don't need to do it.

If something is important enough, someone will probably be on at you to do it at some stage.

I disagree that there isn't "much".

I do need to sit down with a calendar at least weekly, work out how to juggle club/ tournaments/ invitations/ odd inset days with work and make sure there's at least 1 parent around.

AND plan all the meals accordingly, because if one only has 10mn at home one evening, food needs to be ready and eaten then..and think about what kit is needed when to make sure it's clean and ready, and .. all the rest.

But I don't even put that in "life admin", it's just.. stuff.

"These things take so little time in reality that I just do them as an when required and pay bills by DD."

Says someone rich in time.

Never heard of it as a thing, it's just what you have to do, like washing or any other day to day tasks. Check the bank, pay the bills, check the credit card, make sure savings are at a good rate, etc, etc, didn't know it had a specific name.

This. Like when SAHMs going back to work declare themselves a "home management consultant" and list every single task they think makes up this mental load nonsense on their CV. It's embarrassing.

I think you may be right on the point about flexibility. But I disagree with your suggestion that it's the time rich people who don't make a big deal of this stuff. I think it's the opposite in many cases. The people who are really busy just fit this stuff in without making a massive deal of it.

Quite a lot of life admin can be done whilst sat on sofa watching netflix.

People like to make a big carry on about stuff like switching energy supplier (once a year job at most takes 30mins) or booking vets appointments (something that can be done whilst waiting for kettle to boil).

It all needs to be done just depends how much of a martyr you want to be to it all.

This is just life. Sometimes there is more to do and other times it’s quiet. I’ve just moved house so was quite burdened with tasks but now it’s calmed down. Next year will be even quieter when all the kids can drive or have flown the nest.

I think a lot comes down to how you frame things.

If you set aside specific chunks of dedicated time to work on "life admin", then you're inevitably going to see it as a thing.

If you tend to squeeze these things in around the edges, when you're standing in a queue, waiting for the kettle to boil or wolfing down a sandwich, then you're less likely to see these tasks as a thing - they're just random tasks on your to do list.

I have adhd, so I know all about making a meal out of simple tasks. But I've also learnt that the thought of doing tasks is usually a lot more taxing and time consuming than just getting on and doing them!