If you don't consider life admin to be a thing...

[ruethewhirl]

...then how do you mentally 'label' (so to speak) things like banking and official correspondence?

Not being goady here, genuinely curious. Not a TAAT as such, I see it stated so often on MN that there's 'no such thing' as life admin or the mental load (although I tend to assume the latter refers to slightly different things eg each partner doing their share of things like remembering birthdays, making sure the kids have clean clothes etc). Life admin-wise, part of why I'm bemused by this is that I have a lot of things to take care of in my life that I think definitely count as life admin - not only my own banking, but managing correspondence with my GP's surgery (I have multiple conditions) and also handling my mum's finances at her request (she has Alzheimer's) plus handling her general correspondence and sorting things out on the many occasions her care company drops the ball. 🙄 Oh, and chasing the vet/pet insurance company about insurance claims for our cats that seem to drag on for ever!

And then there are things like handling the correspondence if you switch banks or energy providers, complaining about poor service, managing quotes if you're getting home improvements done... what are these things if not life admin? What do you call them instead?

Is it really so insane to suggest that these types of activities warrant an umbrella term with which to refer to them? Presumably the vast majority of people have at least some of this kind of stuff to do in their day-to-day lives, so it puzzles me when people claim there's no such thing. (And if you're one of them, how do you refer to these tasks?)

YABU: There's no such thing as life admin
YANBU: Yes there is!

Just "life"

As pps have said, it's not so much that people dispute these things need doing, just that

A) they take up as much time and effort as some people seem to think - this will obviously vary hugely from person to person. You've given clear examples of scenarios that might require a lot of admin but for many people (particularly if you're not caring for someone else in whatever capacity) there really isn't that much of it. I personally don't understand why people include "paying bills" as some sort of huge stressful task that has to be done frequently for example as if its 1980 and we're still balancing cheques - some of my bills (ctax, water etc) I set up a dd for 10 years ago when I moved in and haven't thought about since. Even when I switched bank accounts it was all done for me.

B) they need a specific all encompassing term

In the same way people don't need to build/account for "hygiene maintenance" in their daily/weekly planning to account for every time they shower/wash their hands/brush their teeth and use the loo.
It's just life.

I dont have any strong feelings either way towards the term. Sometimes it's handy as a catch all, sometimes it's overused. We all know (or should!) what being an adult/running a home requires, it doesn't need to be spelled out.

I just call them "shit to do"

I don't put a label on them as such, anymore than I put a label on cleaning my face and brushing my teeth in the evening, or emptying the dishwasher everyday.

I don't try to put everything into a big "mental load life admin" pile. I just.. do.
Read emails, deal with them.
Check calendar, book birthday parties, holidays, buy presents.. invite people

Just a bit everyday I am home, catch up when I am back if I am away for whatever reason. I don't buy the "it's not that much" because for most people, it IS a lot if you add it up, but I am not making a big deal out of it either.

You might as well add "put your shoes on before leaving the house" to your to-do list, you just get on with things in reality.

It's never been easier to do your life admin in a couple of minutes when out and about/on your lunch break etc.. I logged on to my online banking to transfer some money whilst waiting to pick up my FIL from the hospital this morning. It's something I rarely have to dedicate specific time to. It didn't take me away from any other task (other than looking at mumsnet)

Ok. How often do you or did you go and visit your parents? Did you have PoA for them? Did you have to sort stuff with banks and care homes for them? (Doing the PoA for my mum took at least an hour with each bank just to set up, plus registering PoA). Mum died in April, the paperwork is on-going.
Do you have a family who need visits/cards/presents?
Do you go to the dentist/Dr/optician?
Have you children? Do you take them to the surgery for vaccines etc.
Do you take them to school? Sort out lunch money? Stuff they need for Food Tech? Forms for school trips?
House/car insurance?
Organising getting the gutters cleared?
Organising the car service and MOT

All of this 'stuff' needs to be done if you put any value on family life. Much of it uses an considerable amount of brain space.
Are you a man?

I don't have a desk job and don't find it difficult.

I think you're onto something with the "my time" thing though.

It's the whole, "If you want something doing, ask a busy person," because, if you're busy, you're also likely to have developed ways of being efficient.

The only people I've ever known to complain about the amount they have to do and how little time they have to do it are (and I'm getting my hard hat for this one) the few SAHMs I've known who never worked after having children (and I'm including when their children were secondary age).

I can think of two friends I've had over the years who seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time 'busy doing not very much.' But even then, it was only two.

One had a dog and spent a lot of time talking about how she couldn't do things because she had to take the dog out. Or she didn't have time because the dog needed a walk. But everyone else I know with a dog just does it.

The other used to talk about all the jobs she'd done in the day or how much she hadnt got done or which jobs she was carrying over until tomorrow. I mean, I did the same things before or after work or didn't get them done and had to do them tomorrow but they didn't seem to weigh so heavily on my mind.

That's not a slight on SAHMs in general. Just what I observed in the women I was friends with.

In reality, I don't encounter people who call it 'life admin' or complain about how much time it takes IRL regardless of their circumstances.

Picking up your FIL I think comes in the same category.

agree with the majority here that no one denies it's existence but those who claim it needs 10 hours a week, every week, or whatever are the crazy extremes.

Things like banking - what does that entail exactly? I don't think in my entire life I've dedicated any time to 'banking'
We have 2 cats, both quite old - the last time we made a pet insurance claim was 5 years ago and it was resolved fairly quickly.
I cant say I've switched banks in 10 year, nor energy provider - but will run a comparison now and then on compare the market.
surely a service complaint is also once in a while and is a simple email?
Home improvement quotes - get 2 or 3, pick one, book them in.

none of these come up regularly at all so I just call them what they are rather than 'life admin'

I just mean in the sense of saying, for example, that I'm going to be busy on a given evening because I've got a lot of [insert word or expression here] to do...

A once in 20 year event doesn't need categorising as life admin!

Stuff

Well, how much someone has on their plate varies from person to person, so that''s a bit of an overgeneralisation really.

In a mad way, I think it does (I've done a lot of hospital stuff with my mum). You have to make the time, remember, work out the journey, find the right bit of the hospital etc. I think Life Admin includes all the brain space and time we give to other people as well as our own stuff.

again I don't think I've needed to declare myself busy because I've got 'the kids lunches to pay' or a 'car insurance comparison to do'

I definitely wouldn't call it life admin in that scenario. TBH I cant imagine telling anyone I was too busy for something because of this kind of stuff. If it was one big "life admin" task, I'd say that. I've got someone coming round to quote for the boiler replacement, or I need to finish DC's bursary application, but I can't imagine staying in to pay bills .

I am not the poster, but you lost me with "are you a man". Or do you mean us women are less efficient and more over-reacting because we lack a penis or something? Charming.

I don't disagree that there's loads to do, I said that earlier, but I don't agree that it needs to use a considerable amount of brain space. Chill, it's the attitude towards it the problem.

Have you children? yes*
Do you take them to the surgery for vaccines etc. no
Do you take them to school? yes -but how is that using any brain space? You just .. do
Sort out lunch money? Stuff they need for Food Tech? Forms for school trips?
yes to all,
but again, just read the email and deal with as it comes. How much effort is that? No brain space or mental load needed.

it's all the same. You don't put MN on your "mental load" list, do you? and yet, I bet you are on here quite regularly 😂

Are people that bored that they need to create that mystical "mental load" to make their life sound more interesting?

There has always been a need to do things like booking a dentist appointment, sorting out life insurance, booking your car in for a service, but I've only know these things to be labelled 'life admin' in the last 10 years or thereabouts. Certainly my parents would never have used the term.

I don't think I need a phrase to cover this kinda stuff, the closest it gets to a label is if I write a list headed 'To do'

Many, many women on Mumsnet complain that their partners do very little of what's on my list, i.e. buy their mum a birthday present. This is why I asked the question.

I have done/do all of that with the exception of the elderly parent stuff.

But how much time does it really take?

I mean, I have a window cleaner. I googled local window cleaners, found one, looked at his reviews and messaged him. It took 10 mins at the absolute max while I was sitting in bed drinking a cup of tea one Sunday morning about 5 years ago.

I thought my gutters needed cleaning and so texted him to ask him if he also did that. He did. I asked if he'd do it next month and asked how much. He said he would and told me. I asked him to do it. Sorted. The whlenexchange was done within 5 mins.

Car service and MOT. "Hi, Phil. My car needs servicing and an MOT. When can I bring it in?... Great. Thanks."

Done.

It's nothing.

My children had vaccines. I was on maternity leave, I believe. It's not something I was constantly doing.

Form for a school trip. 5 mins.

I'll accept the PoA stuff etc is more the consuming but general life stuff is 5/10 mins a time. That's all.

“Stuff” “Errands” “Chores” all acceptable. We all have to do it to varying degree, what’s annoying is the constant martyr-dom from some people about it. Just get on and do it, stop whining!

This really. It’s just life. The same way that eating is life, showering is life, going to work, sleeping, opening a bank account, buying a house, getting the MOT on the car etc. it’s life, it’s all things we have to do, and the more there is the harder it can be, especially for those of us who struggle with ND traits.

I don’t feel the need to separate certain tasks out as “life admin”, it’s all just more boring, overwhelming shit I have to sort out at some point 🤣

Despite being in a foreign country, working out the journey involved nothing more than typing an address into google maps. As someone else said, I give as much thought to it as I do putting on my shoes.

i think it uses a fair amount of thinking time, myself.

I've only felt like I had it when we had a lot on - I think as a general thing when across three kids two schools and muliple clubs groups - endless letters and money demands and life being busy on top or when we were doing big house moves round kids.

As soon as kids got older more able to take their own stuff on board then kind of vanished.

It's kind of like hoilday packing - DH used to do just his and wonder why I was getting so stressed - well I was packing for three kids me and more general family stuff as money was tight and we'd try and minimise additional spends and trying to get everyone washed and dried to avoid last minute rushes. I was also slowly teaching kids how to get orgainsed and pack as well. Over time they did more and more. Now I pack for me - it's straight forward and if something missed can do without or just buy - so much less stressful - DH thinks I've gotten better at it or more chill at least - no I'm just doing a hell of a lot less invisble stuff.

Now try it again with an ND brain 🤣