If you don't consider life admin to be a thing...

[ruethewhirl]

...then how do you mentally 'label' (so to speak) things like banking and official correspondence?

Not being goady here, genuinely curious. Not a TAAT as such, I see it stated so often on MN that there's 'no such thing' as life admin or the mental load (although I tend to assume the latter refers to slightly different things eg each partner doing their share of things like remembering birthdays, making sure the kids have clean clothes etc). Life admin-wise, part of why I'm bemused by this is that I have a lot of things to take care of in my life that I think definitely count as life admin - not only my own banking, but managing correspondence with my GP's surgery (I have multiple conditions) and also handling my mum's finances at her request (she has Alzheimer's) plus handling her general correspondence and sorting things out on the many occasions her care company drops the ball. 🙄 Oh, and chasing the vet/pet insurance company about insurance claims for our cats that seem to drag on for ever!

And then there are things like handling the correspondence if you switch banks or energy providers, complaining about poor service, managing quotes if you're getting home improvements done... what are these things if not life admin? What do you call them instead?

Is it really so insane to suggest that these types of activities warrant an umbrella term with which to refer to them? Presumably the vast majority of people have at least some of this kind of stuff to do in their day-to-day lives, so it puzzles me when people claim there's no such thing. (And if you're one of them, how do you refer to these tasks?)

YABU: There's no such thing as life admin
YANBU: Yes there is!

Nothing wrong with the label IMO

we have life admin - bills, insurance, car MOT, school stuff, dentist and docs appointments, kids parties, kids activities, family birthdays etc etc

house jobs - cleaning, washing clothes etc

I wouldn’t say that life admin is bank correspondence though. I don’t speak to or read anything from the bank regularly just move money around once a month when paid. Job done. I find there’s more life admin in having kids and everything that comes with school, appointments, parties, homework etc

If you have an organised mindset and just get on with things and are not an over thinker these sort of things are just very minor. Some people are just very efficient, I’m one of those people so it’s no bother. MIL isn’t and what I see is someone who is so inefficient in everything it means in her life she has never had spare time.

They're not as minor if there are so many of them that they need significant time to complete, though. Not being defensive there, just stating a fact.

OP, I think part of the disconnect here is that you've taken on significantly caring responsibilities for your mum, and you're describing them as "life admin".

There is nothing inherently wrong with calling them that - you can call them whatever you like - but for most people, "life admin" doesn't typically refer to caring for someone with dementia but rather the basic stuff such as paying bills, booking medical appointments etc. The admin that most people have to do doesn't tend to be that onerous, so they think you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

I care for my dad who is in the early stages of dementia, and also for another relative whose dementia is more advanced. I know that it can involve a lot of work, but it wouldn't occur to me to include the stuff that I do for family members in the category of "life admin" - in my head, they're in a completely separate category of "caring responsibilities".

I think the problem arises in a partnership when one person is doing all these tasks and the other doesn’t even have to think about them.

And that extends, doesn't it? If you haven't lived some of these paperwork-creating situations, you have no idea what it's like till it happens to you.

I agree with you OP. You can simultaneously group all those home/family related admin tasks together in your head and/or decide to do them together but also not think is is a huge deal

@ruethewhirl I wouldn’t describe anything to do with your mum’s health and care as life admin - it’s a caring responsibility that takes up a massive amount of time and headspace. It’s not something you can try and compare to paying bills and making packed lunches.

At one time I would have disagreed and said there was no such thing as life admin. I don't class paying bills (which is done automatically anyway), or doctor appointments or remembering birthdays as life admin.
Now it's a thing in my life. Trying to sort a special school for DS involves, meetings, appointments, sending evidence, endless calls and emails. When my mum was alive it was even harder (she had dementia) so it was even more appointments and meetings.
I guess I just don't refer to it as life admin, just the ridiculous hoops you have to jump through so your child can actually access an education.

I hear what you're saying. It's quite possible that I categorise life admin in different terms than the majority, i.e. as tasks I have to do that aren't work/housework/shopping/attending appointments. I was mainly reacting to the idea coming from some pps that we can all get our stuff done in 5 minutes in front of Netflix or on the bog, and attempting to point out that for some of us there's more to it than that.

In terms of physical tasks such as making meals, I agree. Where sorting my mum's bills is concerned though, I do categorise that sort of thing as life admin although it sounds like I might be in the minority there.

I think if you referred to it as what it is (caring) then people would probably be much more understanding.

I love this, it reminds me of going with my mum to the "gas board" showroom in town to pay the bill in cash. My dad got paid on cash every Thursday and I remember him handing the majority over to mum over tea every week, so I guess she was in charge of 'life admin'. I've always done all the admin for my husband and the family and even now the 'children' live abroad the younger DS (29) will occasionally ask me for help with forms. I've always booked the holidays and chosen most of the destinations etc too. I worry about my husband being able to keep on top of things if I dropped dead, but I'm so used to doing it all that I'm reluctant to delegate anything.

I do feel sorry for people who have children at school now, with all the constant WhatsApp messages, rather than one or two newsletters per half term.

Also I know that people with frail aged parents can have an onerous lot of admin and chasing around to do, negotiating with agencies, carers finance etc can be a nightmare. We feel fortunate really that all our 4 parents died relatively suddenly (nicer for them, too), if you see what i mean.

I don't really view the paperwork side as caring, though, rather the admin generated by caring... (just to be awkward/split hairs 😄)

I do think it's interesting on this thread seeing how differently people define various things, though, partly why I asked the question in the first place.

It's definitely a thing. However from what I've seen the mumsnet objection to it seems to be when a house wife, or stay at home mum to school age children list it within their daily tasks that keep them so busy and productive. When generally unless you are dealing with elderly parents, disabled children, managing a large estate etc, then life admin isn't really much of a 'thing'. This isn't criticising house wives or sahm's by the way, I don't understand why people seem almost competitive by these threads of who has it harder, who is the most productive etc, no idea why people (women) feel the need to justify their existence so much.

The mental load is definitely a thing however.

This. Stuff like this exists; it's life.

For many years, people just dealt with it the best they could, but now, some have decided to give it a name and turn it into a bit of a competition regarding who has more life admin or mental load than others. When in truth, some people just have more complex lives than others, some are better at dealing with stuff than others, and some just dont care about it and shirk their responsibilities in life. At times, it's a mixture of all the above.

When I hear life admin or mental load, I do tend to roll my eyes and think, just get on with it and deal with it, and if it's not working for you, what are you going to do to fix it then? - Just stop calling it that! IT'S JUST LIFE!

All I can say to that is it's not a competition for me. It's just language imho. Can't deny that competitive busy-ness is very much a thing on MN generally, though.

DH and I must live very boring lives. Bills and mortgage comes out of our account on the same day each month. We check our account on the app every morning, which takes maybe a minute. Once a year we have our insurance renewals, again it doesn't seem to take too long to sort that out as most of it is auto filled anyway.
Forms for the DCs, usually just require a signature and a few quid. Again a minute or 2, and then pinned to the noticeboard.

We have a young dog, he is insured but we've never needed to use it. He goes to the vet once a year for his vaccinations and that's it.

We rarely go on holiday, but even if we do it doesn't take too long to sort it out. I consider that quite 'fun' admin anyway.

So yes, I'm not sure if we are just very basic or simply don't put too much thought into how much time it all takes.

It is just language and I'm not interested in competitive business - I'm the first to admit that my life is very low pressure compared to some people I know. However - and again this will partly be down to where I live and my personal circumstances - the idea that bill paying should just take me a couple of minutes just doesn't work. It would if I just had my own bills to pay but as in your case, @ruethewhirl , I also have other people's bills to deal with. Upthread I'd said six but actually there are seven of us for whom I'm responsible and paying seven lots of bills, organising seven lots of appointments etc. simply does take up a lot more time than doing the same for one or two people.

Due to medical conditions I regularly have to make appointments and yep, it should be a two minute job. We have a health service app on which we can do it - except it never bloody works. This means you have to make a phonecall to book appointments which means various menus to go through and hideous amounts of time on hold. I decided to circumvent that once by stopping in at the health centre to do it as it's very close to home, but was in the queue for 25 minutes before I had to give up because I had somewhere else to be. So not only has the task not been done but still needs to be done but I've wasted another half an hour getting nothing done. When I finally get that appointment and arrange the appropriate transport, childcare, work cover etc. to attend it, chances are I'll receive a phonecall changing it to another date/time and then have to change all these arrangements around it. It's most certainly not a two minute job. I can't do phonecalls from the car as something broken means my mobile doesn't connect to the car speakers.

I consider myself pretty efficient but that means nothing when the people and systems I have to work with don't perform in the same way. I live in a country that has a whole industry that I haven't seen in existence elsewhere, which is to do people's paperwork. Our bureaucracy is so onerous that everyone has someone to do it in the same way people in other countries have an accountant/doctor/dentist/lawyer. That's how difficult it can be to get things done. We're also in a position where systems still haven't caught up with technology and everything closes for three hours every afternoon. I can't sit in front of Netflix in the evening and get these things done because so much still can't be done online and I can't call and do it because there's no-one left in the office at that time...

This 'life admin' doesn't bother me that much. I kind of consider it part of my 'job' in the sense that my husband and I have divided up who does what pretty fairly and this is simply part of my duty just as he has his. However the idea that it's always as quick, simple and easy as some people here are making out just doesn't correspond with my experience at all.

Stuff.

I guess I was referring to some of the lists on here that include things like signing consent form for school. Just come on, if you list every activity that takes a second to do then yes you look busy. Or 'paying a bill'. What does that actually involve in this day and age. You can do it while you watch TV

Genuine question, do you think people are invested in trying to look busier than others? It's never really occurred to me to give this much thought because I don't see busy-ness as some sort of moral virtue, it's just a state of being. Having said that, though, I've been on MN long enough to know that a lot of people do (for some reason I can't relate to) care about this stuff, so I've probably just answered my own question. 😄

Well then their mum doesn't get a present. I've been a single parent working full time most of my life. Never had a need to make a thing of life admin. Its just things to you need to do. No biggie

I think Life Admin is a useful phrase - talking to a friend earlier I said had spent the early morning doing some life admin and she knew exactly what I meant.

I did some shredding of old bank statements, filed the latest management accounts for my flat, chased up blood results, booked concert tickets, and renewed a library book - nothing exciting but needed to be done.