Been totally shafted

[junefrog]

I’m in shock and could really use some perspective.

A long-term friend (15 years, genuinely like a brother to me) and I agreed to buy a flat together at auction. He was abroad at the time, so I fronted the initial payment (£10,250) to secure it. We had numerous messages showing it was a joint purchase. He was moving funds and fully committed.

Out of nowhere, he’s now pulled out and is completely ignoring me. I’m left in a really difficult position legally and financially, as the auction sale is binding. He knew from the start we were going 50/50 and I didn't have all the funds to buy alone. To own a flat by the sea has been out dream for years.

I have clear proof of our joint intention and his involvement, so I know I can rely on that if it comes to court.

Has anyone ever taken legal action in a similar situation — e.g., claiming money back or losses via court? Did you have any success?

And, more broadl, how do you even process the emotional side of something like this? Fifteen years of friendship feels like it’s just gone. I'm a single parent and it's my son's future as well as mine.

Thanks for any thoughts or experiences — practical or emotional.

You might do better to focus on finding some bridging finance to complete the purchase. You’ll need specialist auction finance & then you can refinance before the balance is due. It’s not going to be cheap, but you’ll need to weigh up the costs of this, vs the loss you’ll make from walking away.

Why aren't you buying property with your new husband?

I find that rather puzzling TBH.

If you bought at auction and were joint purchasers then surely his name was also put on the documents you sign immediately the hammer falls so if he pulls out then he would also be liable for his half of the purchase/loss with internet he would have been able to sign remotely

You could take him to court but do you want to own a property with someone like this?

There are ways of enforcing a judgment from a small claims court - but it all adds up to more time and effort on your part in trying to pursue the debt.

1. If you did successfully obtain a court judgment that your "friend" was legally liable to pay you £5,000 (being half of the £10K deposit paid by you) then ......

1. You would have to put something in writing regarding how / when you expect repayment - you need this to be able to pursue option 3 once the "friend" has not made payment / met the repayment schedule and terms you put in writing.

1. Once the "friend" has failed to meet the criteria set down in 2 above, you then issue a Statutory Demand on them. The Statutory Demand legally requires payment within 21 days.

1. If the "friend" fails to pay the amount owed on the Statutory Demand within 21 days, you can then petition for his bankruptcy.

If "the friend" does not have £5,000 then there is a higher chance of him ending up bankrupt, than you getting your monies back.

Unfortunately all these things cost money:
● issuing a Stat Demand costs money
● serving a Bankruptcy Petition costs money

In many cases issuing a Statutory Demand can be successful (especially in business) as the threat of potential bankruptcy is often sufficient to make recalcitrant debtors pay up.

However, danger points:

1. A Bankruptcy Petition can only be served on a private individual for a debt of at least £5,000 or more.

^^ The danger here is that if the "friend" makes a few half hearted attempts to make instalment payments, and pays £500 or £700 of the debt off ..... it then prevents you brjng able to pursue the Bankruptcy option.

Please take advice from s property litigation solicitor on whether:

● you could have a claim on your friend for the full £10,000

^ Whilst he was only going to be liable for 50% of the total purchase price, you would not have paid the £10,000 deposit were it not for the agreement you had with the friend to jointly buy the property.

^ Thus, by pulling out of the deal and leaving you in the lurch, he has actually cost you a £10,000 loss, not just a £5,000 loss.

^^ I am just suggesting ask a solicitor about that aspect.

@junefrog is there any chance someone could have threatened your friend? Given what @Ponoka7 said about your BIL?

This is excellent advice:

● check all your home insurance and car insurance policies and see if you added Legal Cover into the policy when it was taken out

● The insurance company will then assist you actually find the correct type of solicitor with the correct knowledge, the insurance company will offer you a few choices of local solicitors who specialise in property litigation who fall within their scheme.

This makes it a much quicker, easier process to match people with the best and most appropriate solicitor.

I’d honestly see if there was a way I could find the money to make it work. Holiday rental? I’d see if I can turn it round to become a good investment! Even if you do it alone. X

I am so sorry. What a shame. But I agree with others I would not want to own a property with someone I could not trust.

Please do seek legal advice.

Because a lot of threads are fiction. People make up dramas and past posts can contradict present posts

This is so sad

I'm wondering why the OP has asked for advice and support but seems to have disappeared from their own thread. It's pointless trying to fathom out the backstory here and play the normal MN guessing games with a scenario that has important gaps. Like where is the OPs DH in all this, what's their view of the OP entering a property auction with this friend, and why are they not giving the OP support.

God, what a load of crock from AI. Can we please get a ban on people reposting such crap from Grok or GPT?

I would not waste time advising if the poster's history made it seem as though the whole thing were likely fantasy. Thanks to the other posters who pointed it out.

Can't help noticing that she disappeared as soon as people started asking questions about the friend, after noticing that she has posted about him a lot in the past, and how he always seems to be at the centre of major problems in her life

You seem to have a lot of toxic people in your life OP, I’m sorry this has happened.

Could you go ahead and buy it alone? Your friend is clearly not a friend to have done that to you. It's shocking, your friendship will never be the same, after he left you to deal with this.

Have things improved at all @junefrog ?

Not really but I did have a meeting with a solicitor who says I can use for something called reliance loss (I think). He's been through all our emails and texts and joint emails with the solicitor who was doing the conveyancing and says that there's a strong case that I could argue for all the money I paid upfront plus any fees I'd incur from the auction house for the sale falling. It's not what I wanted obviously and I really never thought my best friend would betray me in such a callous way

This ‘friend’ has alienated you from everyone, did you invite him to your wedding over your sister? You need to think about why you were so desperate to have him in your life, what was it, really? Did you like having a gay friend because it made you feel sophisticated, or a bit different? Do you have secret feelings for him, even if you know they would never be reciprocated?What does your husband think? And was he keen to go halves with him on the flat in the first place?
It’s all very odd to an outsider tbh, you seem to have very strong blinkers on where this guy is concerned.

Did junefrog's either brother in law or his wife / sister lose their job due to the gay best friend as well? And wasn't there a breakdown in relationships with other members of the family as well because they didn't like the gay best friend and junefrog thought they were homophobic?

It seems so odd to buy a flat with your best friend, sorry, gay best friend, when you've just got married.

I'm lost here too. Where does BIL come in since this person says he / she / they is a single parent? Who'se the homophobic one, maybe the father of the child? Maybe he doesn't fancy the idea of his wife / husband / partner buying a place with the unethical gay guy?