Been totally shafted

[junefrog]

I’m in shock and could really use some perspective.

A long-term friend (15 years, genuinely like a brother to me) and I agreed to buy a flat together at auction. He was abroad at the time, so I fronted the initial payment (£10,250) to secure it. We had numerous messages showing it was a joint purchase. He was moving funds and fully committed.

Out of nowhere, he’s now pulled out and is completely ignoring me. I’m left in a really difficult position legally and financially, as the auction sale is binding. He knew from the start we were going 50/50 and I didn't have all the funds to buy alone. To own a flat by the sea has been out dream for years.

I have clear proof of our joint intention and his involvement, so I know I can rely on that if it comes to court.

Has anyone ever taken legal action in a similar situation — e.g., claiming money back or losses via court? Did you have any success?

And, more broadl, how do you even process the emotional side of something like this? Fifteen years of friendship feels like it’s just gone. I'm a single parent and it's my son's future as well as mine.

Thanks for any thoughts or experiences — practical or emotional.

If I were you I would send him a message. Say something like, 'I understand you are in a difficult situation right now, I'm not mad. When you are ready, id like if we could please meet to talk and see where we can go from here. Thanks'. And see what he comes back with! 🤞

I doubt there is any coming back from this. He is no friend. Is he still abroad so perhaps facing difficulties with financial checks for money laundering? It is never going to be the joint venture you hoped for now, so if you cannot afford to proceed alone you should pull out. You need to find out the costs if you fail to exchange and complete. Presumably you have had legal advice for the purchase.

From looking at your other threads - you're married but a single parent? Why were you buying with this friend and not your husband? Did your husband's brother get disinvited from the wedding because he's 'homophobic' and you didn't want him around this friend? If so, was there something else going on?

So you verbally agreed to buy a property together.

He changed his mind at some stage for unknown reasons.

Despite not receiving the monies from him that would have represented his 50% share of the monies due when the hammer fell, your bid for the property was successful.

How were you proposing to finance the purchase, Had you actually organised a joint mortgage or was the magic money tree going to provide.

I cannot understand how somebody gets themselves into this position, it beggars belief. I would be speaking to the auctioneers urgently and seeing what they can suggest, which lenders you could approach on such a tight deadline.

I would also be reconciling myself with the very real chance that you will ultimately forfeit the monies spent to date and fail to complete.

Why are people looking up other previous posts? Genuine question

How was the rest of the purchase going to be funded? Cash presumably? Can you get a mortgage instead?

Someone else raised it and it turns out to be an interesting development that adds a bit to the story

Probably because someone asked if it was the same person the OP's BIL had beef with. It could have been done for revenge. Some user names are memorable.

I think your friendship is over. See a lawyer.

And never buy something with someone else until their share of the money is in your hands.

Please ignore AI shite, especially when it comes to legalities and money.

Promissory estoppel won’t be available to you, for example, because it’s a shield and not a sword.

You need to do the maths to see how detrimental a mortgage on this property would be or whether you just take the hit and lose your deposit. Legal action against this guy won’t get very far and won’t be cheap.

This is so shit for you!

What is his explanation???

Can you check with london and country or similar to double check you def cant get a mortgage?
Could your parents help at all? Even if just to loan you the money to renovate and sell?

I would get some actual legal advice.

I suspect you can't force this as you think, but it gets complicated with property.

I would try being upfront with the auction house now as well, not wait then spring possible problems later. It is possible if the next bid wasn't too bad that everyone will just agree to end it, but you might lose initial money.

It's not guaranteed though, but you need to do it fast for it to be even possible.

Have you heard from him at all @junefrog - do you know that he is alive and well?

Because they're weird with too much time on their hands.

But if he claims there was no contract between them, she could rely on estoppel. So she would be using it as a shield, not a sword.

Can you somehow still get a mortgage on the flat?

Thank you

No, PE is used to stop someone suing you, not allow you to sue them.

And well before that, practically speaking, the cost in time and money to launch any legal action against him is throwing good money after bad.

You really should not have proceeded with this until a watertight agreement is in place. I don't think you have much chance of getting money out of this 'friend'.,

@junefrog don’t panic. I’ve had buyers pull out on me post auction and it is surprisingly difficult to enforce the contract. You will obviously forfeit the deposit, but the likelihood of the buyer taking you to court on this issue will (i think) be quite low. Definitely take the advice of a property lawyer who might be able to find some undisclosed issue that materially changes the contract (unlikely but not impossible such as a property being described as vacant possession when it clearly isn’t).

On a practical note, the relationship is obviously dead as there is no coming back from costing you £10k is there?. You could try taking him to small claims court for 50% of the lost deposit (you can do this yourself and you have the messages to back up your agreement) and make sure you tick the mediation box so that a mediator tries to resolve the matter before it goes to court. I’d wager that he’ll be willing to give you the £5k.

So sorry this has happened to you. 💐

Although in this case it was relevant

I hate AI, it's just pulling random shit together that doesn't even work for the specific situation. Everyone thinks they're an expert!

OP, what do you mean they pulled out? Did he message you and say he was out, or has he just disappeared? Is he okay? This is your long term best friend of many years.

If you got the place at a decent price & it doesn’t need tons of work then try to get a mortgage yourself if the figures stack up, or the see if you can get someone else to go in with you

To be honest - you sound dramatic and illogical

Let’s be honest, buying a house with a friend at an auction is a crazy idea, and it’s conceivable he might have had a change in heart as it’s such an unusual proposition. In fact, I’d say this outcome was foreseeable…as it’s so niche. Plus he was abroad so hardly totally invested in this, it seems like a fever dream.

People are allowed to withdraw consent, and he did it at a time where he isn’t actually responsible for anything. I’m not sure what you would be suing him over, it’s not totally straightforward that your messages between each other would count as a binding contract where he owes you money. It seems like you entered a binding contract in the auction yes, but his name isn’t involved with that. So yes, you personally may be facing legal claims for the funds…but your friend isn’t necessarily liable. The auction isn’t going to chase him, and ultimately the auction contract is in your name so I can’t see a court finding him liable for the funds either.

Sometimes it can give more context to the OP’s circumstances. (Given all threads are true).