Been totally shafted

[junefrog]

I’m in shock and could really use some perspective.

A long-term friend (15 years, genuinely like a brother to me) and I agreed to buy a flat together at auction. He was abroad at the time, so I fronted the initial payment (£10,250) to secure it. We had numerous messages showing it was a joint purchase. He was moving funds and fully committed.

Out of nowhere, he’s now pulled out and is completely ignoring me. I’m left in a really difficult position legally and financially, as the auction sale is binding. He knew from the start we were going 50/50 and I didn't have all the funds to buy alone. To own a flat by the sea has been out dream for years.

I have clear proof of our joint intention and his involvement, so I know I can rely on that if it comes to court.

Has anyone ever taken legal action in a similar situation — e.g., claiming money back or losses via court? Did you have any success?

And, more broadl, how do you even process the emotional side of something like this? Fifteen years of friendship feels like it’s just gone. I'm a single parent and it's my son's future as well as mine.

Thanks for any thoughts or experiences — practical or emotional.

How on earth do people remember other users from threads?? And what they are doing in their lives?

They don’t.

It only takes a few seconds to advance search a username which brings up all the threads they’ve started.

I had to take someone to court for money they owed me. Their partner was a law student and was very smug, saying that without a proper legal contract I hadn't a hope

However, when we got to court the judge said that the texts and emails exchanged proved his intent and I won hands down.

This was in the Small Claims Court. You can claim up to £10,000. You don't need a solicitor. I represented myself. It's much more informal than the courts you see on TV or films. If you're reasonably articulate it's pretty, straightforward.

You were mad to front the whole deposit. Why didnt he transfer his half from abroad and co sign the agreement electronically?

Do people honestly bother to do this? On threads where the OP seems a bit of a weirdo I can understand, but relatively "normal" threads I can't believe people can be so bothered to check up on OPs and find out so much!

Try to step away from the emotion and start planning. The important questions are:

1. How long has he been ignoring you? Is he definitely pulling out or could it just be that he's got something else going on? A final message along the lines of "I'm getting concerned, are you OK and have you decided to pull out of the purchase because if so I need to know now" etc

1. How long do you have until completion?

1. How much money are you short on funding the purchase yourself?

1. Have you investigated getting a mortgage?

You are officially bound to continue with the purchase (though I've no idea how easy it would be for the seller to enforce this beyond keeping your deposit) so don't waste any time in planning to go ahead without him.

Going forwards, can you afford to run and maintain the property on your own? If not, you could obviously re-sell but if that's your only option it might be cheaper to pull out now and lose your deposit rather than pay all the fees to buy and sell. You'd need legal advice from a property lawyer before doing that though.

Good luck OP, it's a rubbish situation

Just withdraw from the auction. You’ll lose the deposit but the seller would need to sue you to get you to compete on the contract.

If there are other people who would have bid and won then they are likely to just sell to them instead. It’s less hassle for them than taking you to court.

I thought it was actually against the site rules now to do this

And it’s unlikely you’ll get a mortgage in place within the closure period to complete. Many auction properties aren’t mortgageable anyway.

Presumably the flat is worth more than 20k though. The 10k was just the deposit wasn't it? So it would not be suitable for small claims.

The problem OP has is that she has bought a property in her sole name. He has not committed to any contract and the law in England regarding this is that unless you have signed a contract, you are not legally bound to buy.

The only person who has legally committed to buy the property is OP.

It's a bit like putting an offer in on a house. It's done in writing, there is clear intent shown but until exchange of contracts, there is no legal redress if the buyer pulls out. You can change your mind and withdraw at any time up until that point without penalty. This is what he has done.

OP has effectively exchanged contracts by buying at auction.

You need to speak to the auction house asap, and find a good property solicitor, who can give you advice. I'm not sure anyone on MN is going to be able to offer you proper advice. You need urgent professional advice. Although you may have messages etc, that show your friend intended to purchase a property with you, if he hasn't signed any paperwork, then I'm not sure he's legally done anything wrong. He was abroad at the time of the auction, you hadn't received his share of the money prior to the auction and presumably he didn't message you on the day of the auction to tell you to go ahead as planned? If the answer is no, to all of that, then I'd say he's changed his mind or he never had any intention of purchasing the property in the first place. If he's now not responding to you (and assuming you know he's perfectly well, and not laying in a foreign hospital bed), then I'd be asking why he's just thrown a 15 year friendship away, and did he string you along for a reason? Only you know your history with this man, we don't, so only you will know if there's a reason why he might have deliberately strung you along. Yes, people can change their mind, nothing wrong in that, but he hasn't voiced that to you - and if he genuinely had, wouldn't he have told you well before the auction? It's a odd situation.

Yep they do i had a stalker on here few years back 2 of them and one was a teacher.

If you have some doubts about a thread advances search can be useful in deciding whether to report it for mumsnet to take a closer look - or just to decide you dont wish to invest in it.

Have you read the other threads? Her best friend has been the source of numerous family problems, some apparently quite major, over the years. It's unlikely that that's not relevant to her predicament

I’ve just done a money claim too and you’re right. It definitely said things like WhatsApp messages, texts and emails could be used as evidence of a financial agreement

You can't use messages as legal proof. I assume you went to the auction on your own and bid under your own name, and then signed for the flat with your own name. It's legally yours - sorry.

Perhaps or perhaps not relevant however still weird folk with too much time on their hands.

You can use them as evidence. But evidence of what? He was thinking about buying together, seemed keen but then changed his mind. So what? People are allowed to do that.

Sometimes you just remember a poster, especially if their writing style is recognisable. And this ouster talks a lot about her long term gay friend. It’s recognisable.

Have you any idea why he pulled out?

I know, it's disconcerting. I don't post much but I put up a post asking for help in selling my stepdad's house after my mum passed. Another user trawled my past posts to uncover a comment I made about my mum's abusive second husband (who she left over 35 years ago) - which wasn't even a thread I started, just a comment on a thread about domestic violence. My widowed stepdad is the loveliest guy, had been married to my mum for 32 years and the other user posted a "gotcha" by trawling my past posts. Some people have too much time on their hands.

Some people do have a brilliant memory for usernames (not me). I think many people do genuinely remember usernames.

Op, I would suggest you let the auction house take the deposit in forfeit, i.e. you lose the deposit. But if you have text messages or voice messages from your friend promising clearly to go halves, you will be successful in county court in reclaiming his half.

So, you will lose just over £5k but this is better than being stuck with a property you cannot afford and getting into debt, not to mention all the other stress involved. Just call the auction house and explain truthfully exactly what has happened.

I have made a few county court claims, all successful and it is not as scary as it sounds; it is simple and fast, and proving that your friend was supposed to enter this venture with you is easier to do in the county court in a small claim than if you were to try and sue him another way. Because the county courts deal with people of all social and edicational levels, they make the process simple.

If you would like to chat with me, please drop a PM; I would be more than happy to help you and give moral support!

I have also lost a longterm friend in an unfathomable way; it hurts, and it's devastatingly confusing too. The only reason I can think of for why your friend has backed off is if you made a closing bid that was over and above what he believed you two had agreed, and therefore, he objects to the hike in price. Could it be this?

I am concerned for you and if I can help you, I will happily.

But if you have text messages or voice messages from your friend promising clearly to go halves, you will be successful in county court in reclaiming his half.

This is just not true!

OP needs proper legal advice.

You aren’t a single parent? You have a partner who you married in July. Ask him to help you sort this and cut your friend off. He’s no friend to do this to you