To think a lot of midwives are.. just not very good?

[JackandSallySkellington]

Please hear me out.

I am SURE there are dedicated, talented, intuitive midwives out there. But AIBU to think beyond doing obs, most actually do very little in the course of labour/birth and a lot of the time seem very passive and like they just can’t be bothered?

I have had 2 babies at different hospitals. In the first delivery, the midwife ‘popped in to check on me’ now and then and simply called the doctor in to do an instrumental delivery when the pushing clock ran down. She didn’t do anything else - didn’t help me change positions, didn’t offer me a drink, didn’t give me adequate pain relief despite me asking (just kept saying ‘it’s coming…’), didn’t ask me how I was feeling in any way. Couldn’t have been less interested.

Second delivery far worse. I was admitted for induction and after a few hours found to be 4cm dilated. I laboured all night - a full 10 hours - in a cubicle on a ward and despite regular pleas that I was in labour, the midwives insisted I wasn’t. They didn’t exam me again, just offered paracetamol, and only took me to labour ward when I was vomiting and discovered to be in transition and 10cm dilated the next morning. I had really hoped for a water birth and I’m gutted my final labour was spent alone in the dark. The hospital apologised but what’s done is done.

I understand about overstretched NHS etc but my stories are not down to that - in both cases the midwives spent a lot of time milling about and chatting.

I feel like the only stories about midwives being great are when the birth was going well anyway so there wasn’t much for them to actually do.

AIBU to think a lot of midwives just aren’t really up to the job? Sure I’ll get my arse handed to me as I’m aware criticising medical staff is v controversial!

Which hospital please?

For my first baby, I had amazing midwives (labour took a day and a half from.broken waters).
For my second one, the midwive I had really couldn't be bothered.

It really depends I suppose.

Yes, same here, DS born 25 years ago, first baby. Treated me like I was an inconvenience the minute I arrived on the ward. Was given a bed that wasn’t made up and was told to go and get my own sheets and pillows off the bed in the side ward. Sent DH home and left me labouring slowly all night, water broke I was shouted at for making a mess on the floor. I dragged myself back and fore the loo in agony all night past the nurses station where they sat and chatted all night - not one asked me if I was ok.
morning came and I begged for pain relief, baby back to back, took all day to be taken to ward where I was almost delirious with pain by that point, soon became apparent I had a seriously stuck 9lb baby so went through a quick episiotomy and forceps birth to get him out as he became distressed.
He spent 5 days in SCBU where again I was treated like dirt, no help with anything, I was stitched from one end to the other and was just a total inconvenience. No help with breastfeeding and I was handed a howling baby that had been tube fed after 5 days and told to get on with feeding him or he’d be taken from me again. I didn’t have a drop of milk. Terrifying, nasty and vindictive women.
Eventually a HCA took pity on me and quietly had a word and said love, just bottle feed him and you can go home. So that’s what I did. Took me months to get over the whole thing.

Completely down to luck on the day who you get, which is hard. I have 4 babies and would say majority of the midwives were excellent, but I did come across a few who weren't very helpful.

I do know a midwife, she is the most know it all individual I’ve ever met. There’s not a subject she thinks anyone can know more than her, this especially includes doctors. So I’m sure she is a nightmare at work.

I agree. Most are utterly clueless and aggressively unscientific/anti-doctor, and a fair proportion are downright nasty and bullying.
I was two weeks overdue with my first pregnancy. The scan at 36 weeks showed a large baby, with a predicted weight at term of 9lbs. When I was overdue I tentatively asked the midwife if she thought I might not be going into labour because the baby was too large (head not engaged at 41 weeks). No, she snapped, scans were rubbish, this was a small baby — much like hers, she’d be amazed if he was more than 6 1/2 lbs.
She came round two days later after the inevitable c-section and sniffed vaguely in the direction of me and the 9 1/2lb baby who was trying to breastfeed.

Second baby, lost 3 litres of blood, transfusion etc. I was still in the high dependency unit and in pain when a midwife started bullying me about breastfeeding in the wrong position, before leaving nasty comments in my notes (which I have) about me refusing all help and advice about breastfeeding, insisting I knew better etc. I had fed my first baby until 18 months and did the same with the second…

So many others who misrecorded information or gave advice that was downright dangerous. One midwife couldn’t believe that my second baby was also large (scans again bang on) because she felt that the fundal height was measuring small. Another one couldn’t use an ear thermometer. One insisted that my waters had broken when I came in for an appointment after going swimming.

On the whole a bad experience with midwives for me for my only child (and one of the reasons they are remaining an only!).

I was due in for induction due to waters breaking with no labour, but got meconium about 18 hours in. First midwife actually said to me 'I've not had a day off in over a week and you're my 3rd lady when I should only have one'.. brilliant, why she's telling a scared first timer this I do not know. Then plonked in the waiting room as the triage room was needed for labour, before being given a bed on the induction ward. Induction midwife was also useless, dismissive of me as a first time mum, and either unaware or didn't seem to care I was clearly in transition after going from 2cm to baby in < 3 hours. After vomiting exorcist style on the shared induction ward (bye bye dignity - didn't think that's how I'd lose it in the grand scheme of things) I was finally offered a bed on labour ward. This midwife was more obsessed with my paperwork and keeping me on my back for the monitoring than me telling her I was pushing - and baby was born 25 minutes after moving wards. Shift change, hooray, finally a decent midwife (they exist, even if rare) who was an absolute gem and let me break a few of her fingers while the most painful part of the whole process was underway (doctors elbow deep trying to stitch so I could avoid theatre for major PPH) - she also joined in my annoyance when whoever was trying to jam a needle into my artery to get a blood gas, while I was also being worn like a glove, exclaimed 'i'll have to do it again as SHE writhed around in pain worse than childbirth moved'.

In summary, based on my singular experience 66.6% of midwives are awful but there are the 33.3% out there worth their weight in gold!

I can see why you feel like that. I had good care for my first. For my second, I wanted a water birth and it was in my birth plan ( does anyone ever read them?). They gave me some BS about not possible because my waters had broken 16 hours before. They put me in an office to labour and left me to it. Once I was in the delivery suite it was ok. In the maternity ward there was no real care. Loud, jarring environment and staff nowhere to be seen.

There have been loads of issues with maternal health services in the NHS for years and midwives are part of the problem no matter how you may wish to deny it. Look at the vote and the stories here. There are other terrible stories elsewhere.
www.reddit.com/r/doctorsUK/comments/1j27hu5/what_have_i_just_read_shockingly_bad_maternity/

The midwives i had were all really caring. They were understaffed though, especially on the postnatal ward.

The only problem i had was not being allowed to hold dc4 when he was born, they gave him to dh who was sat behind me and i couldn't see him. Dh said that when i spoke to him, ds was turning his head, as if he was recognising my voice and trying to find me, which breaks my heart a bit as i couldn't go to him. When they took him to nicu about 45 minutes after birth i asked to hold him and i got a quick cuddle but it wasn't the same as getting skin to skin straight away like i did with my vaginal births.

I do think some of them are probably burnt out, plus highly aware of the need to put safety first/ protect themselves professionally and that comes at the expense of a more compassionate, woman centred approach.

I genuinely think the push for natural birth is so often underpinned by hospital / staff politics, misogyny, and the sense of control and satisfaction is gives some midwives. It's not just a cost cutting measure.

Agree without having to read your full post even. I really didn’t like the midwives when I was in hospital after birth. Found them very ‘hard’ and didn’t listen to me; I also feel they’re a lot like yoga teachers where everyone’s ‘methods’ are different. It’s not at all what I want in a medical setting!!! Tbh it was one of the reasons I don’t think I’ll have another baby.

Working in healthcare is a profession these days for people to have a stable job and source of income. Do they actually want to CARE FOR and HEAL people? Think that applies to a small minority of them. This hors for most professions, so not picking on them only.

I've heard of this being routine in the U.S, but not the UK. I thought they were more considerate here or try to put the baby on the chest first?

Which countries were these in?

I’m not sure I want to express an opinion on the state of midwives as I don’t work in maternity but I dont think most people have any idea of the state of morale in many areas of the NHS or public service. Pay and conditions are generally dire and staffing levels are low for what they are asked to do.

But ime birth on the continent is much, much more medicalised than in Britain and choices are generally fewer.

I dunno, can't generalise. Some were a bit rubbish, some were great. I didn't really need anything from them, so guess it doesn't feature much for me, looking back

Great post, thorough and astute

The not being believed is awful and seems to happen so often. I had the same with my first.

I was induced and then told things would take ages to start, husband was sent home for the night. I had strong contractions pains and a few hours later felt my body pushing. I told the midwife and she just told me 'you won't be ready yet so don't push or you'll do some damage'. I was totally alone on the ward, I remember staggering back and forth to the toilet not knowing what was happening and trying to fight against my body. Finally someone did check me and realised I was fully dilated and rushed me to a room and called my husband back in. I was then made to birth on my back (for 'monitoring') and surprisingly this position didn't work great so they gave me an episiotomy

Second birth was amazing - a home birth in the pool, born before the midwives arrived 😆 I think I subconsciously put off calling them as I had lost trust in them. The midwives who arrived after were amazing though, so lovely and supportive even if they missed the actual birth. I wonder if there's something different about homebirth midwives, a different philosophy

My main midwife was amazing. However, the one who relieved her for 30 minutes was cold as ice and basically sneered at me for having an epidural!

I’m a midwife, not in UK. Shocked at some of these comments..honestly in my unit this just wouldn’t happen, all women are treated with utmost respect and kindness. We have a great team with great management.
we aim for 1:1 care so I’m sure that makes a difference. But even when busy, I have never seen a woman treated badly whether we are busy or not..

I am sorry you had such a negative experience. I have pretty much mostly fantastic midwives. Once, there was one who got a bit impatient with me (my labours were not all textbook) but fortunately her shift ended and a much better one turned up.

I use a midwife group that you see one of the team each appointment and then one of them delivers you. So I met all the midwives before delivery.

Not in UK though, not sure they have similar setups there.

When i had a miscarriage in the same hospital one of the midwives saw my name and remembered me (she'd delivered two of my babies) and came to see how i was Lovely woman!

Oh but they don't like educated or intelligent women! Then you're labelled as 'difficult'.

I was ok with my gynaecologists as they actually listened to me rather than dismissed me, but even they, along with my GP, were flummoxed when I asked them - 'Why is getting very low dose HRT at my age (30s), so difficult or apparently risky when the NHS prescribes and practically pushes the contraceptive pill (a much higher hormone dose), on thousands or even millions of women, many of whom haven't even stopped growing yet at they're in their mid teens. And their hormone dose is so high, it stops the natural process of ovulation completely, as opposed to HRT that just acts like a top-up or supplement?

I have yet to receive an answer.

The senior paramedic also had to tell them to turn the lights on, I believe, so that his team could even see what they were doing. Presumably these midwives were trying to make & read notes, & then resuscitate the poor baby, in the dark.

My experiences around and leading up to both births were great with the midwives involved but with my first it was the 2014 midwife strike 2 days after she was born and I stayed in for 4 days post birth mainly due to the strike.

The bank staff that had agreed to come in and support and not strike were awful. I was in a side room and was shouted at by one to keep the curtains open on the window so they could check on me as they walked past, then 15 minutes later shouting at me to shut the curtain as I was trying to breastfeed and it was visiting time. I just laughed, I was on a post birth high so didn’t care but they were so rude.

Post c section with my second I noticed a noticeable change in the way they treated me once I dropped into the conversation that I was a bit gutted to have had to have a section but I had been brought in with a days notice when the baby was scanned for the 2nd time in a transverse position and measured v big and strongly persuaded into a c section for the safety of the baby. I genuinely think they were being cold and unpleasant because I was in the planned section bay and they thought i had chosen a section. Pretty sad though really