Do I tell him?

[Anyusernamewilldo2025]

Had sex with a guy I met after chatting for a while and agreeing fwb. A few days later he gave some bullshit reason why he could no longer be fwb, honestly I'm pretty sure he got back with his ex/they hadn't actually split up (i was not aware or suspicious of this until after we hooked up)

Now discovered I'm pregnant, yep stupid I know. I can't continue the pregnancy and have made the appointment but do I give him the courtesy of telling him?

YABU he has a right to know/tell him

YANBU given the decision is made no point in telling him

Sorry OP but this "I'm such an honest person" business is coming across as pretty performative. You've known this bloke for all of 5 minutes, you've no intention of having the baby and he couldn't give a flying fuck anyway. I can't help but think you want to achieve something by telling him, but I'm not convinced it's due to your scrupulous ethics.

For someone who doesn't want this baby and the 'father' is someone you barely know who isn't interested in pursuing things with you anyway, you aren't half overthinking this.

My money is on this being one of those situations where, in spite of all your protestations about how you can't be a mum again, you will get to the point of termination and suddenly have this epiphany that you 'can't possibly go through with it, this baby deserves a chance to live, what if I regret this forever? Yada yada.'

One of those 'lady doth protest too much' accidental pregnancies where you go through the motions of saying all the things you think people expect you to say because you know that terminating is the only sensible thing to do for your personal situation and people will judge you if you don't terminate. But deep down you have no intention of doing that. You are just going through a period of denial about it.

To me, that is the only logical explanation for why you'd go through all this performative hand wringing over whether to tell this man.

I have made the decision to not tell him and thank you to those that offered support and voted as such a clear majority. For the others, well sadly its an incredibly rare occurrence on AIBU for people not to make up fictional stories!

For those trying to apportion blame, find a victim in this etc, my opinion is simply we were two consenting adults entering into a causal relationship with boundaries and expectations clearly defined, including and specifically that I can not carry another pregnancy and if I found myself in this situation what my decision would have to be. Neither of us are victims here, or rather I suppose we are both the victim of a contraception failure. If we are talking 'blame' whilst I don't think anyone should be 'blamed' if they are then it should be me, I didn't get the MAP as I didn't think I needed it, that decision was mine so any 'blame' is on me, he did his part by wearing a condom that unfortunately failed.

Final thought for those who have decided I want/need/enjoy drama, who have chosen to not believe honesty is important to me, and I think my favourite fake story is that I'm going to dramatically change my mind at the appointment 😂 I haven't disclosed my reasons for why I can not continue the pregnancy and I don't intend to but whilst I appreciate that anybody posting can only go off the limited info the OP provides I have been very clear in more than one post that I can not continue the pregnancy, that isn't a choice.

Once again, this immature chav is grateful for being able to talk things through and make a decision