Do I tell him?

[Anyusernamewilldo2025]

Had sex with a guy I met after chatting for a while and agreeing fwb. A few days later he gave some bullshit reason why he could no longer be fwb, honestly I'm pretty sure he got back with his ex/they hadn't actually split up (i was not aware or suspicious of this until after we hooked up)

Now discovered I'm pregnant, yep stupid I know. I can't continue the pregnancy and have made the appointment but do I give him the courtesy of telling him?

YABU he has a right to know/tell him

YANBU given the decision is made no point in telling him

I think you want to tell him to get back at him for sleeping with you then going back to his GF. I don't think it's to do with your conscious at all.
Just have the termination and get on with your life.

I don't know for sure that they were/are now together, if they were 'on a break' or whatever so I see no need to blow up her life for my suspicions that he has cheated rather than he was actually free to sleep with whoever he wanted as was she during the time we were getting to know each other and the time we had sex

I can only reiterate this is absolutely not the case

She is an adult who had consensual casual sex, this could happen in any situation ! They used contraception and it failed, you are just nasty and judgemental. Get off your high horse mother Teresa.

Exactly what I thought too.

I'm not telling him, ok don't and the thread goes on.

What is wrong with you 🤣 cor some people lol

Not much point telling him. You don't need or want his opinion on the subject really do you? You don't want the pregnancy and that's that.

I don’t believe there’s any good that could come from telling him. I hope you’re ok!

Chavvy?
The worlds gone mad?

Do you think casual sex is something the OP has single handily invented as some new lower-class phenomenon?
Wow, do I have big news for you…!

If your having an abortion no i wouldn't tell him. Look after yourself and do what's right for you.

I'm sorry where did I say I'd made a decision on whether to tell him or not? Yes talking it through has been helpful and the whole point of posting the thread and whilst I am gaining clarity, no decision has been made

Stuff him, you have enough to deal with and you don't need his c!@%. If he comes back tell him to sod off and leave you alone, tell him he caused you enough issues and he's made it clear what he thinks of you. Its sad for you 😔 and I am sorry your going through this. But your gut and instincts have more than likely read him correctly for the future. X

If anything it's more the OP's fault for not taking the MAP.
Sorry, that was meant to quote the person saying it was the fault of this man that OP got pregnant.

@TwinklyStork I reported your post. If I’d read further, I would have reported the others too. You might think about reflecting on your behaviour towards a vulnerable woman, given your high moral standards.

Deep down, do you feel like you have any type of feelings for him? And by telling him, you’ll get some kind of support or contact from him?

If not - then there’s absolutely no need to tell him. You don’t owe him anything. You’re better off blocking him on all platforms so there is no chance of him ever “coming back”.

But do confide in a friend if you want some support. Terminations aren’t nice and can be emotional even if you 100% don’t want to go through with the pregnancy, it’s still a hard thing to experience.

You love the drama.

Don't tell him.

Get the termination and move on with your life.

Absolutely correct. The blame culture for men on here is ridiculous at times.

Are you going to tell other people in your life eg. your DC? Or is it something you’d prefer to keep very private? Is there a risk he’d tell others if you tell him and how would you feel about that?
I really hope it’s not for revenge, subconsciously.
Unless you are very clear about why you want to tell him - which you don’t seem to be - I’d leave him in ignorance.

I'm just going to reiterate again,

I have no feelings towards him, not positive or negative, I thought he was a guy I could have some fun with and it turns out he wasn't 🤷🏼‍♀️ I had and have no emotional connection with him and whilst I was annoyed/pissed off at the message he sent it was shrugged off the same day and I am now entirely ambivalent towards him.

I have no interest in any drama, causing issues IF he is/was in a relationship, or in blowing up anyone's life.

I don't know why part of me feels its the right thing to do to tell him, I'm still trying to work that out and I posted this thread in the hopes someone could help me with that. So far I think the poster who said it's maybe because I'm an honest person is probably the closest to nailing the reason.

I will not be responding to or engaging with any posts that query these questions again. They are valid questions given I'm a stranger you don't know personally but I've answered them and I'm not going to spend any more time or energy defending myself

My friend knows but nobody else and I absolutely will not be telling my DC. It's something that I intend to deal with privately with the support of my friend.

I hope you are OK.

I dont know what good would come of it to tell him.

You have decided to do what is right for you and his reaction wont change that. If you tell him he'll either deny it/won't care which will make you feel worse or he'll try and make you keep it which isnt right for you.

If you were going ahead with it, then absolutely tell him but you're not so it wont benefit you (or him).

I wonder if you feel like you need to tell him so you can feel like you both made the decision? It is a big decision and even if you know it's the right one for you it can still be traumatic, especially when it's just you making the decision.

Do you have rl support?

Ok, well if you’re adamant that you have absolutely no feelings or emotions towards this man - tell him. Go ahead and tell him if you think it’ll make you feel better. No harm done right?

I really don't know why you would want to tell him. What good could possibly come of it, for either of you?

No you don't need to tell him at all and I wouldn't. Nobody has a right to know what treatment you are going through, unless you are expecting him to hold your hand through it which it doesn't sound like you do no point at all.

It absolutely IS nasty. Don't pretend you're just 'curious' about how the situation arose. You just wanted a chance to sneer at another woman for having a sex life that is - shock, horror - not the one you would choose yourself, and you essentially invented a whole scenario about it in your head that was not actually what happened to the OP.

You know full well you aren't just 'curious' and if you were, you wouldn't have been so obnoxious and crowing in your responses to the OP.