To find the homeschooling fad really braggy

[Kudosss]

Am I wrong to think there's something braggy and arrogant about homeschooling?

I'm NOT talking about the parents of SEN children who may not have been able to access a school, or feel it's in the child's best interest. I'm not even talking about the quiet ones who just get on with it. I do acknowledge our school system has it's problems but...

I'm talking about the loudly wholesome parents bragging about their lives and day, how much richer their kids are for being home schooled, outdoors yahdiya.

I mean I would love to be able to homeschool but the reality is I a) can't afford to and b) quite like the little bit of sanity I have left and c) I'm not so arrogant that I think I can undermine qualified teaching professionals with years of experience.

It's almost like these parents are basically announcing their wealth and privilege to the world without announcing their wealth and privilege and making everyone else feel inadequate.

I was homeschooled for 6 years so I have met quite a few homeschoolers. Academically it wasn’t an issue although I stopped when my mother thought I had reached the age when I needed specialist teachers. I found the transition back to school incredibly tough especially as it had to be boarding, but I’m very glad I did go to school.

I have a feeling DD will at some point want to try it as she gets into her teen years, so we’re v much keeping an open mind (and I absolutely expect her to go to sixth form to do A levels). But who knows! If she does want to try it then I think we would likely want her to go to a smaller private school so it’s not such a shock to the system, but at the moment I just don’t think we could afford it.

Home ed to boarding is quite the jump from extreme to extreme, that must have been tough to navigate!

I suppose it’s possible in theory but idk how much it actually happens. Especially as most kids seem to start and then be withdrawn so they are on the radar (known to the LA) so will probably be checked in on to some extent and were probably known to be at risk when at school.

Neighbours tend to notice kids and if they go to school or not. If I’m out with my school age kid in the day someone normally asks, the neighbours have asked and been told and I’m sure if the kids vanished there would be questions. Same as for the under school age ones?

no you don’t have to have a curriculum. If you’re “on the radar” yes you have to show progress, usually annually, we do not as the kids have not attended school and telling the LA we HE would have zero benefit for the kids or family and would create work and stress tbh with staff pushing their luck and what is within their remit.

The problem with this is that DC1s nursery thought she was fine and I’ve had her past teachers come up to me and say how much she loved nursery but if you asked her she never wanted to go or go back, it eventually damaged her MH so much that she was housebound often so her attendance was terrible and she freaked out at the idea of any “learning” or “teacher” figures for a couple years at least after we pulled her out. But the “professionals” there thought she was fine. CAMHS saw that she wasn’t but it was a year or two down the road before we got to them so she “should have been in school” by then but she couldn’t and they was pretty quick to see CAMHS by most accounts.

I don’t get what’s going on by more and more kids seem to be struggling in school and nursery and they fall apart so much that they’re barely attending and the parents end up pulling them out to home educate. I would LOVE for this to be fixed, I would LOVE for more educational options (different types of schools, my kids sort of sit between mainstream and specialist)

Us parents didn’t need to add fighting with whoever to prove that our kid was unwell and school would make it worse while simultaneously trying to manage, unpick and repair the damage. Only at nearly 7 it’s DC1 “ready” for something like school but normal, state, mainstream school would most likely redo the damage soooo HE continues because there is no option for a school that would be safe for her.

You wouldn't have met them, though... Because you'd only meet those involved with community. I'm not against home education at all in principle ,but my husband was "home educated"... Neglected by drug addict parents. Those families definitely exist.

There are not-in-school-nurses, seems to be different in different areas like all things. I think there’s a vaccine clinic where I live now but our GP just did it in our old area. Developmental checks could be offered but a lot will just decline, much like with HVing and weighing in school. Developmental checks should be done for school kids because look how many ND kids are undiagnosed till late in their school career when they fall apart and there’s no time to do much about it.

I think councils should try and run HE stuff but people will be skeptical about going, more flies with honey than vinegar though. Idk if I’d go, probably not for now as we have enough on for now and are off the radar. There was a coop running KS2/KS3/GCSE level classes where we lived before and I’d be interested in that sort of thing

Part of this is resilience which involves sticking at something that's hard through difficult times. It's not surprising that most kids have times when they don't like school and would rather quit, in the same way that many of us feel like that about our careers at times. Perseverance often pays off though or potentially moving to another school/workplace but just jacking it all on altogether robs you of so much in the medium/long term.

@Marshmallow4545 I need to comment on this. I would 100% have agreed with you until I have had my own experience of something else being true.

My 10 year old son was a school refuser. We had no idea why but he just would not go to school. He would not go so much that he tried to kill himself in more than one way to avoid going.

Everyone, and i mean EVERYONE told me that I needed to stick at it to teach him resilience and my common sense told me the same.

But my gut instinct said something else so i withdrew and home educated.

Thank goodness I did. The same child is much more resilient now than I could ever have imagined because he has learnt to trust that his parents had his back and that he can tell us anything. He is now living 3 hours away from home studying at UCL.

We were told by EVERYONE that I would have an adult incapable of leaving home but they were absolutely wrong. If a child or young person is struggling so badly that they cannot cope the WORST thing you can do is to ignore them and to tell them they should be resilient. They will end up resenting and not trusting the adults who are supposed to protect them.

It would seem a large number of people don't think maths is important or necessary. People who can't see that hey use algebra every day without really thinking about it. Or that all the items they use involved calculations and technical design skills. I'd guess their children will still be playing shopkeepers or something when they're old enough for a secondary curriculum. I have nothing against home education done well, in fact I wish it was an option for my youngest in a way due to issues at school, but most "home ed" that I see just seems to involve playing and getting muddy.