Is it ok just to offer wine, beer and soft drinks when having guests round for a meal?

[snauralaura]

Just that really. We're not big drinkers so we don't have a stock of spirits or "after dinner" type drinks. Would you think we were poor hosts if that was all we offered?

I like cocktails myself and my liquor cabinet has the usual spirits, plus sake and soju and quite an exotic collection of liqueurs but over the last decade and more, I find that my dinner guests are happy with just wine, especially if they are an older crowd. Younger guests enjoy mixing drinks and experimenting. I don't do beer at all and no one has complained thus far.

I’d be absolutely wankered off that and have a horrific hangover (if I still drank)

I don’t drink wine or beer so always take my drinks choices with me when going to dinner or drinks at someone’s house as I can’t expect them to accommodate every choice.

Going against the grain but I personally wouldn't drink anything if that was on offer. Wine gives me a headache and beer fills me up too much. A lot of people have a bottle of vodka or gin kicking about even if they don't drink it themselves as its not like they go off

It’s fine and I think it is silly to expect people who don’t drink to spend money on alcohol. If you want alcohol, ask if you can bring your own.

But then do they also have to buy in a selection of mixers?

Of course it is. We usually do. Occasionally we offer a brandy or whisky at the end of the evening but very rarely.

I don't think a full liquor cabinet is normal these days and even when there is one - both my sister and my dad keep a full cabinet - as a rule, the expectation these days is mostly beer or wine. I like a margarita or a gin and tonic so I keep ingredients for both in the house and would offer one or both if appropriate when people come round, but I wouldn't expect either when at someone else's house. Ditto, in the summer i always buy a bottle of Pimms and we offer that if it's a nice day but again, that's because we like Pimms! :)

If i was hosting a dinner and knew for a fact that person x only drinks y, I might well buy it in specially, but not routinely.

A lot of people have a bottle of vodka or gin kicking about even if they don't drink it themselves as its not like they go off

I don't think they do. I never buy vodka because we don't drink it. I have won bottles of whiskey in raffles then asked them to draw again because no-one I know drinks the stuff and I don't want it taking up cupboard room.

How does one do this though if one hates wine and knows nothing about it? 😂 Go to a proper wine merchants I suppose and ask for a recommendation? Could be pricy though. I would buy something from a supermarket and make sure I wasn’t buying the cheapest one, but other than that I have no idea what is a decent wine and what isn’t. For that reason, it’s great when guests bring the one they like!

@RampantIvy I think it's probably some people do, some people don't. We always seem to have brandy because DH has a client who gives him a bottle every year or two at Christmas. I use it in cooking but feel a bit guilty about it as I think it's quite pricey!

@Waitingfordoggo As someone who loves wine and knows very much what I do and don't like, I would nonetheless be perfectly happy with a bog standard bottle of wine from the supermarket. Current price point to guarantee it will be drinkable is probably £10-£12. You can get loads at less than that, but it's easier when you know what you're doing.

If your friends are big drinkers and wine snobs, then I would 100% ask them to bring their own and if you don't drink, I honestly don't think they'd mind at all.

That’s interesting. £10 to £12 is more than I would have thought, so that’s useful to know! The last time I drank wine, you could get a half decent bottle for about £5 which shows how long it’s been 😂

A friend of mine can't drink and just asks us to bring our own. We are quite happy with that because we get to drink exactly what we like. I would just either ask what your friends like or say "as you know I don't drink wine and know nothing about it are you happy to bring your own?"

I know, it's frightening.

To be fair, I usually pay about £8 but that's often wine on discount, or wines that I know I like. There's a LOT at the £8 mark that's awful. So if you don't know what you're doing, the extra £2 will help.

Having said that, frankly, online reviews are helpful. Don't bother with the detail but if a wine costs £8 (or, even better, is on sale from £11 to £8) and has 400 reviews and a rating of 4.5, go for that!

Also, value for money wise, you will always get MORE for your money if you buy wine from South America. I recommend Chile for white and Argentina for red.

I have a cupboard full of spirits and can't remember the last time a guest drank any of them apart from my dad when staying over, or the very occasional G&T for my mum. Wine, beer and soft drinks are fine!

Thanks @JadziaD. I still don’t know whether I’m hosting Xmas dinner this year, but if I am, I’ll use your tips!

Allow me to make a plug for my favourite non-champagne that is just as good then..... :

Graham Beck Brut. You can buy it in waitrose. Full price it's about £16. It is OFTEN on special for around £10. I fully expect the price to continue to increase over the next few years but it is still little known and most people still choose a prosecco or a cava if they don't want to pay for champagne. While it's not TOO expensive, stock up. I will be keeping an eye out on the waitrose website for the next special offer ahead of this christmas myself in fact!

Chimes with my experience. These days I use more spirits in cooking and baking than in actually drinking them. People's drinking habits are changing. They drink much less and are much more discriminating about the types of alcohol consumed.

It would never occur to me to buy soft drinks if we were having people over! That's not something we ever have or buy. If we aren't drinking alcohol, tea or coffee, it's water in our house. (Most days just coffee and water.) Having people over for dinner I would make sure we had a good selection of red and white wines and beer. We usually have the makings of gin and tonics too, but I wouldn't go out of my way to have those ingredients on hand, and I would never expect to be offered anything other than beer, wine or water at someone else's house.

That's interesting. I think I used to feel this way but to be honest, so many people don't drink, or only want one if they're driving, that I definitely feel obligated to have soft drinks on hand these days. We usually buy tins as that way they last and if no one drinks them, no problem. Coke/diet coke and perhaps something like a san pellegrino and definitely sparkling water.

We routinely have orange/apple juice in the house anyway for breakfast but if I didn't, I'd definitely buy some kind of fresh fruit juice when guests come over.

In the summer, if people are driving, I like to make a virgin cocktail. But that is just me and I certainly don't think it's necessary!

We only offer wine, beer and spirits drinks when hosting a dinner. Plus the port usually gets a hammering when the cheese course comes out.

In my circle we don't tend to socialize at each other's houses much, but when we do alcohol is definitely on the menu! And I've never seen anyone who's not drinking, or taking a break from drinking, drink anything other than (still) water at such a gathering. I don't think sparkling water or fruit juices would ever make an appearance, and like I said it wouldn't occur to me.

The only time I might buy a soft drink to have in the house is if we are having people to stay, rather than for the evening. We don't drink juice in our house these days (none of us need the excess sugar or calories!) but if someone was staying who might want it, then of course I would buy it. And similarly with pop, although I don't think I know anyone who might be staying with me who is a pop drinker to be honest.

I have a cupboard full of spirits but would only offer beer, wine & soft drinks to dinner guests ( I’d hope they’d bring some with them too ! )

@QuiltPlantCandle I think this really just shows how it's all about what different groups consider "normal". It's so interesting.

We LOVE a drink too but I do have plenty of friends where one doesn't drink in a couple, or where they have to drive so one is always designated driver. And we do quite a lot of entertaining - not so much formal dinner parties, but definitely having people over for food and drinks or bbqs etc, so that informs my approach.

DH is usually designated driver as he's not a huge drinker but he does love a coffee. He wishes that people would offer him more coffee, and not just at the end of the meal! Close friends he'll ask, but he doesn't feel he can in most situations!

You're right. It is interesting that what is considered normal varies so much between different groups.
When we do socialize at someone's house it's almost always in our neighborhood so driving isn't an issue. If we go somewhere that's not within walking distance one of us will either drink mostly water or we'll get an Uber.