Is it ok just to offer wine, beer and soft drinks when having guests round for a meal?

[snauralaura]

Just that really. We're not big drinkers so we don't have a stock of spirits or "after dinner" type drinks. Would you think we were poor hosts if that was all we offered?

I think offering beer, wine or soft drinks is absolutely fine! If it was summer, I might have some of those frozen cocktails in the freezer but in Autumn/Winter I wouldn't bother. If any of your friends prefer a G&T or something, they can bring the ready made cans!

Wine is fine, and some sort of non fizzy non alcoholic drink like apple juice. I tend to have gin, and possibly port or a liqueur, im a fan of tia maria and frangelico and normally have one around. If I have it, youre welcome, but I would only buy in wine unless i knew someone preferred something else.

Of course. The concept of a bar stocked with aperitifs and digestifs seems pretty outdated.

If anyone is a spirit drinker tell them to bring a bottle of their choice.

I'm 'terrible' in that I don't even sometimes have soft drinks, except tea, coffee and water. So it's beer or wine only. Nobody's ever complained.

I would be really surprised, tbh!

But I wouldn’t consider you bad hosts. I (usually) visit people because I enjoy their company. Not their liquor cabinet!

It’s totally fine.

That sounds fine. Maybe beer too for folk who prefer ig to wine. No need for spirits.

It’s absolutely fine.
I do usually have a bottle of Bailey in and offer that. We don’t have any spirits in the house as my DH and I never drink them.

Isn’t what YOU drink pretty irrelevant when you are hosting guests? Surely you provide what you think your guests would like? That’s how I was taught to host anyway 🤷‍♀️

Honestly it wouldn’t even occur to me to buy alcohol or that anyone would need alcohol to have a good evening. Also I have no idea what’s any good having never drunk alcohol so you probably wouldn’t want me choosing your wine anyway!

This - it depends on what’s the norm for your social circle. In our social circle we do (nearly) all of the hosting because I have severe allergies and nobody else can safely cater! So this means that I’ll do the food and the others will ask what to bring, and split a booze order (which everyone will have a say in) between them - otherwise our entire friendship would be at our cost.

If it is a reciprocal thing, then I’d expect you to be along the same lines as the others within your circle who host. So if you have couples round who provide all sorts of spirits, cocktails, the works, I wouldn’t reciprocate by a sharing a couple of bottles of cheap when when it’s your turn to host.

I think that’s the joy of friendships - you’re friends so surely you can just discuss among yourselves without needing to ask strangers on the internet who know neither you nor your friends?

I think you'd need to offer the option of water as well as tea or coffee. If someone isn't drinking alcohol then soft drinks are too gassy to drink all evening, especially if you are eating. I'd almost certainly ask for tea if I wasn't offered one.

this but please don't have all soft drinks with sweeteners in....or if you do, then mention it. I'd be totally happy with tap water but do need to know.

I'd ask what people drink, if noone drinks beer then you dont need any

My thoughts too 😂

We have a growing number of friends who prefer gin and tonic to wine, so I would probably get some of that in, despite not liking it myself .

Wine and beer is all I generally encounter at such events or would serve myself, but the younger generation have different tastes - my 20 somethings like gin / vodka and mixers. Guess it may depend on ages involved.

That's fair enough I guess - but if you're hosting don't you get in stuff that you know people might like? I hate coffee. Literally hate it - the taste, the smell. But I know that plenty of others like it, so I always have a jar of normal and decaf for those who like it as a digestif or to pep them up a bit. I always buy coffee for guests - during dinner or if they popped in during the day. How is that different?

Really? Do you always want a spirit before or after dinner at someone's house? I always think it's increasingly rare for people to keep a 'liquor cabinet'. Or maybe I need to meet your friends!

I think it’s fine and would happily take anything I wanted along with me. I don’t drink wine or beer but also don’t expect others to cater to everyone’s spirit or mixer of choice. Everything is too expensive now and it’s too wasteful to have stuff in that the hosts won’t drink or eat afterwards.

YANBU

I enjoy spirits and would never expect anyone to serve them unless it was a cocktail party

I am the main host for Christmas and don't often have large dinner parties inbetween. For Christmas I provide:
Fizz to start (prosecco or champagne)
White wine
Red wine
Beer
Cider
Vodka/gin
Baileys
Rum
It almost always gets drunk and I need to do a top up shop by new year!

Fine but make sure the soft drinks aren't just the fizzy sugary sort. I would be happy be offered ginger beer, elderflower pressed or tonic water with ice and lemon but not juices or coke.

We had friends over yesterday. Just a super relaxed afternoon/ evening.

We had a cheese board and G&T (fiancé had a negroni), then played board games and drank Riesling. My friend’s husband and my fiancé went outside and (apparently) had some whiskey (not sure about the specifics).

We ate and shared a bottle of Johannisberg. went for a walk. An other board game. More drinks (I just had 1/2..).

a slice of cake and a little ice wine.

I wouldn’t expect coffee at the house of someone who hated it to be honest. My mum only drinks peppermint tea but takes her own as she doesn’t expect people who don’t drink it to buy it.
I would have no problem with people bringing their own if they really wanted too but I just wouldn’t see the need to have it. And again I really wouldn’t have a clue what to buy.
But as I said all my friends know I don’t drink so I don’t think anyone would expect there to be alcohol at my house. Just as I wouldn’t expect fizzy drinks at a particular friends house when I know she doesn’t like any of them.

That’s the other thing for me- alcohol is expensive and I don’t see any need for it so why would I buy it?