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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Schools admission criteria......

715 replies

LookingforMaryPoppins · 18/10/2025 23:01

So, my youngest has her heart set on the same grammar school as her sister. She has worked hard and successfully passed the 11 plus. Really proud off her, she is dyslexic so no mean feat.... having just checked the admission criteria, having a sibling at the school makes no difference. Passing the 11 plus is the first criteria followed by children in care, pupil premium and then distance - she is bottom of the pile. If she doesn't get a place, which with that criteria is likely., the option is a sink failing school..... how is that fair?

OP posts:
Motherofacertainage · 19/10/2025 13:43

Hopping on to say I actually can’t believe how unpleasant and entitled the op is. It will actually do you and your younger daughter the world of good to go to a non selective school so that you can fully appreciate the level of privilege she has. Statistically if she’s smart enough to pass the 11+ and has very engaged parents her outcomes will be very good. Many grammar schools actually don’t do that brilliantly in terms of ‘value add’ ie they take in students with very high prior attainment who are going to be successful pretty much whatever happens in their lessons. My son went to a very bog standard non selective school for gcse and a very competitive grammar for A level and the teaching in many cases was definitely better at the comp.

Crazybigtoe · 19/10/2025 13:44

Holidaytimeyay · 19/10/2025 13:28

Of course I realise that £7400 is not a F/T wage! From what you are saying you disagree with the change that the government brought in with UC, as the threshold used to be a lot higher with tax credits, and I do agree that the threshold is very low now. It’s not a race to the bottom.
However, there may be very many reasons why parents are on UC and not working F/T including having disabled children but many times this means that their children will be disadvantaged so it is fair to try and level the playing field. I agree with @ThesebeautifulthingsthatIvegot .

It should be tweaked. It shouldn't be those fighting and scrapping at the lower end of income.

For example, banded according to score and household income.

There are always going to be winners and losers but i don't think the current system is fair- as it lumps every household from 16 hours PT NMW earners to millionaires in one category. And the ability to support a child in such a broach categy varies greatly.

CausalInference · 19/10/2025 13:46

You sound quite entitled and I’m not sure you realise just how poor a family has to be to qualify for pupil premium. Children in care or those who’ve been adopted have often faced incredibly difficult starts in life, why on earth shouldn’t they be prioritised? Many of these children are just as, if not more, intelligent than their peers, whose parents may have spent considerable time and money coaching them for entry. These children will rarely have had that kind of additional support, and even if they were adopted into wealthier families, they may still be dealing with major health or psychological challenges.

Most schools seem to have moved sibling priority further down the list anyway. Both the school my children attend now and the high school they’ll move on to have made this change recently. Children in care or adopted children have always been top of the admissions list and rightly so.

I’m against grammar schools generally anyway. They only reinforce inequality in education and ensure that those with the most resources continue to have the best opportunities. I’m grateful I grew up in an area without them. I struggled quite a bit in primary school, I’m dyslexic, though that wasn’t recognised in the 1980s or 1990s for that matter, so I was just labelled slow or lazy. Thankfully, I attended a good non-selective secondary school where, through hard work, I achieved top grades. I now hold three degrees, including a PhD and have a fulfilling career. I’m very glad that a test at age 11 didn’t define my potential.

sugarapplelane · 19/10/2025 13:47

newbluesofa · 19/10/2025 13:39

Why should families that work hard and value education end up with their children being the least likely to get a decent school.

This is disgusting I actually can't believe you've written this. You know who is actually least likely to get a decent school? Underprivileged children, children in poverty....like children in care and those who are pupil premium. If those children have managed to pass the 11+ they have beaten the odds and good on them! Of course they should be top of the list. They often don't have the same kind of privilege and support that your children have had.

It's pretty rare though, which is why it's a big deal and they're top of the list, so don't worry I'm sure there won't be too many taking up space that you want. Most children in care and poverty aren't lucky enough to manage it. They're probably just not hardworking enough or don't value their education like your family does.

Also earlier you wrote 'hindsite' I just want to clarify that it's actually 'hindsight'. Maybe you should work harder and value education more? Wouldn't normally do such a low blow but honestly this attitude towards underprivileged children has totally disgusted me.

This

Anon9898 · 19/10/2025 13:47

We have the same problem for our son. We are in pot 5 of 5 and they only take top 7. So if 10 children get the top score of 270 on the 11 plus exam they take the 7 who were marked first. The schools in the same group are just too far away

User18394111 · 19/10/2025 13:47

YouCantProveIt · 19/10/2025 06:02

There will be smaller amounts of children in care going to a selective school. And yes they should be ahead of your child.

You may not like it but care experienced young children have to overcome so much just to get to your daughters starting position. If they can do as well as her academically then they deserve their place first and more.

For pupil premium. this is additional government funding given to schools in England to support disadvantaged pupils and help close the attainment gap between them and their peers.

Yes a disadvantaged child again needs to have a good school space where they pass the 11+ - to do as well as your daughter they’d have had to overcome significant difficulties in home life and other disadvantages.

This is about young children aged 11. It’s not about their families. Educators have said in this batch of kids the ones who are suffering or in unstable situations get to the front of the queue. It’s equity as it brings them a little closer to your daughters starting place, but they are and will be disadvantaged compared to her in all settings. She has an engaged and loving mother supporting her all the way. It’s a powerful thing. Use that power to propel her - not diminish others.

Although I agree with most of your post, lots of the LAC & PP children will have engaged and loving Mothers, it doesn’t mean they aren’t still disadvantaged though.

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 13:52

Gruffporcupine · 19/10/2025 12:38

Long, emotive stories are very compelling (we have all read Oliver Twist), but it doesn't mean this makes a good or effective policy or achieve the end to which the means is justified.

Grammar schools are necessarily selective. The purpose of these schools is to nurture children who are smarter than others and would be more likely to go on to do the kinds of jobs we need smart people in. It therefore makes the most sense to prioritize purely based on which children get the better test scores and do away with anything else.

As I said further up the thread, efforts to make the playing field level never work in the intended way, as it's always the parents with more resources who find a way to get their child the best regardless. It's well intentioned but misguided in my view. Again, this is totally normal and to be expected as people do not love or care about or have the same obligations to other people's kids compared with their own. Every parent who isn't a crap parent does the same even if they make the right noises

If they are that smart they wouldn't need private tutors to pass an exam.

sittingonabeach · 19/10/2025 13:53

Many PP parents may be engaged but might not have resources to help their DC and may not have had the education to be able to help either.

sugarapplelane · 19/10/2025 13:55

I suggest a look at the eleven plus forum website. That will open your eyes to the entitlement of a lot of parents when it comes to the eleven plus.
The things parents will do to make sure little Johnny gets a place is beyond words. And it’s not just for local schools. Some parents will enter their children for entrance exams all over the country. Some parents will make their children travel for hours to get to school just to get a place at the top Grammar in the county. It’s ridiculous.
I know if a girl who had to stop all extra curricular activities for 2 years in the run up to the eleven plus so she could be tutored every day.
I value education a lot, but would never go to these extremes.

sugarapplelane · 19/10/2025 13:56

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 13:52

If they are that smart they wouldn't need private tutors to pass an exam.

This is how it used to be years ago. No tutoring and so only those that showed capability passed the exams.

Jugjug · 19/10/2025 13:58

User18394111 · 19/10/2025 13:47

Although I agree with most of your post, lots of the LAC & PP children will have engaged and loving Mothers, it doesn’t mean they aren’t still disadvantaged though.

I don’t think kids in care are comparable to kids with pupil premium tbh my kids get free school meals pupil premium and even though we’re not rich they have a loving family.

A kid in care doesn’t have that if they had an engaged mother they wouldn’t be in care.
The op begrudging kids in care is very messed up especially seeing as they’re such a small percentage of the population they aren’t actually even going to affect her child’s chances of getting into the school.

Although I do actually agree with the op that having siblings at a school should be prioritised over distance seeing as families can move to the other side of town but it would be inconvenient to drop multiple kids at multiple schools. Although that does apply more to primary school seeing as older kids can usually make their own way to school

Timeforatincture · 19/10/2025 14:00

Haven't rtft but is OP aware that selective schools are not permitted to take siblings into account if they rank in order of test score? They can if the school (or county) sets a pass mark and that confers elgibility with no ranking by score.

sittingonabeach · 19/10/2025 14:01

@Jugjug LAC can include children who are now adopted, so should now have engaged parents but more than likely a troubled past

SatsumaDog · 19/10/2025 14:01

sugarapplelane · 19/10/2025 13:56

This is how it used to be years ago. No tutoring and so only those that showed capability passed the exams.

My parents were tutored for the 11+ and they are in their mid-80’s. Tutoring isn’t a new thing.

Glowingup · 19/10/2025 14:04

User18394111 · 19/10/2025 13:47

Although I agree with most of your post, lots of the LAC & PP children will have engaged and loving Mothers, it doesn’t mean they aren’t still disadvantaged though.

Children in care will have abusive or neglectful mothers (and fathers). Some might have engaged and supportive foster carers or kinship carers but that’s really not a given.

sittingonabeach · 19/10/2025 14:05

@SatsumaDog if your parents are in their 80s the Primary schools would have tutored them for 11+. Nowadays state Primaries are not meant to do this

User18394111 · 19/10/2025 14:07

2025VibeandThrive · 19/10/2025 07:34

The 11 plus system is inherently unfair and I have little sympathy for anyone trying to get a place. Where we are the kids are tutored to within an inch of their life. After school, weekends and holidays. Some privately, some in 11 plus centres, of which there are many.

Sounds like the School you have chosen is trying to even the playing field for those on FSM who perhaps come from a family who cannot afford all that extra tuition.

Either way, if your catchment school is so dire, why haven’t you applied to every grammar. For example if Kingston has one, why not apply to every one in Sutton too? That would have made far more sense.

We’ve got one 50 mins away. The next closest is 2.5 hours!

YouCantProveIt · 19/10/2025 14:08

User18394111 · 19/10/2025 13:47

Although I agree with most of your post, lots of the LAC & PP children will have engaged and loving Mothers, it doesn’t mean they aren’t still disadvantaged though.

Fair point - I agree with you.

Ncforthiscms · 19/10/2025 14:08

LookingforMaryPoppins · 19/10/2025 02:58

no she isn't category one, any child in care or pupil premium comes ahead of her.....

Do you really not think that LAC and pupil premium children should have a small leg up in Education? To make things fairer for them? 🙄 not better - fairer!

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 14:12

SatsumaDog · 19/10/2025 14:01

My parents were tutored for the 11+ and they are in their mid-80’s. Tutoring isn’t a new thing.

I wasn't. 61.

SatsumaDog · 19/10/2025 14:13

sittingonabeach · 19/10/2025 14:05

@SatsumaDog if your parents are in their 80s the Primary schools would have tutored them for 11+. Nowadays state Primaries are not meant to do this

Maybe. I know they had additional tutoring outside school and it wasn’t uncommon. My point is there has always been and always will be inequality in education. It’s impossible for there not to be.

Resitinas · 19/10/2025 14:15

LookingforMaryPoppins · 19/10/2025 03:41

Also doesn't mean they are disadvantaged....

Um, yes it usually does. PP funding is allocated to schools based on the number of children eligible for FSM (or who have been in past six years), from service families or who are looked after children. All children in these categories are likely to have experienced disadvantage of some kind. It doesnt for a single second mean that they don't come from "hard-working families." It means that they have experienced disadvantage in their very young lives though no fault of their own. They still have to pass the 11+ like anyone else who wants a place, which is already more difficult for them when there are children from more affluent backgrounds who can access tutoring or have simply experienced greater stability in their lives.

I can understand it is frustrating but the children who would attract PP funding for the school are likely to need the social mobility provided through attending a grammar school more than a child who isn't.

In reality, I would imagine such children in many cases have already been impacted by their disadvantage in life such that they won't pass the 11+ anyway, so I imagine you don't have much to worry about and your DD will get a place. None of these thorny issues are straightforward but your DD isn't more deserving of a place than any other child just because you value education and work hard. Conversely, you could certainly argue that a child from a family where education is not valued, poverty is the norm, family stress and instability are everyday facets of life and manages to pass the 11+ really does deserve their spot...

Petros9 · 19/10/2025 14:15

I read that grammar schools have very low numbers of pp students (about 8%) and lower still LAC so very unlikely that op's child will miss out on a place due to this criteria. If a child is disadvantaged and still manages to pass the 11+, they are in a very small minority and deserve priority for places. The schools are often set targets to increase representation from such groups so they have to prioritise in this way.

MOTU · 19/10/2025 14:16

LookingforMaryPoppins · 19/10/2025 03:41

Also doesn't mean they are disadvantaged....

actually thats exactly what it means, pupil premium is awarded to those who are disadvantaged; you might disagree with how that criteria is judged but that is what it is for. in an educationally selective system those from disadvantaged background have barriers your children do not, it is fair but I understand why its frustrating, I am frequently in the same position, I have never been in receipt of any benefits or support and have struggled but I have worked in education and school governance and these policies are correct and mostly effective in trying to provide as fair access to quality education as possible under the current governments budgetary constraints.

JustSawJohnny · 19/10/2025 14:23

LookingforMaryPoppins · 19/10/2025 03:05

her sister did however the criteria as changed - any child that isn't in care or pupil premium is on a back foot. If the non selective alternative were decent it wouldn't feel so unfair however it's a school where less that 20% of children come out with a pass in Maths and English! Why should families that work hard and value education end up with their children being the least likely to get a decent school. 🤷‍♂️

Sorry but you sound really entitled here.

Why should DD be entitled to a place over others because her sister got in?

You know how competitive getting a grammar place is, particularly now that so many extra kids are taking the test due to parents not wanting to pay higher private school fees.

I'd rather looked after kids and PP kids get places over middle class kids. Round here they all play the system with prep schools using class time to prepare for the 11+ and expensive tutors who cherry pick kids. That's not what grammars are designed for.

There is nothing 'unfair' about prioritising clever under privileged kids for grammar places.

And yes, I do understand the system. I am a middle class parent from a 'naice' village with a child in grammar myself.

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