Jam sandwiches at wraparound care

[JBeanGarden]

My reception age DD goes to a really well arranged breakfast club and after school club 4 days a week. It works very well with 2 commuting parents. I only have one gripe and that is with the food they offer. Technically the food should align with the school’s healthy eating policy, as it’s run by the school not an external provider. The school has asked parents not to provide sweet treats in lunch boxes and it’s quite strict about sandwiches.

HOWEVER the school is not transparent about the wraparound food offer and I had to email three times to get them to tell me what they provide. Once they did, they disclosed that the after school options include a range of sandwiches, including jam, plus a pudding of cake and fruit. Of course, my four-year-old always goes for a jam sandwich and ends up with a very sweet tea 4 days a week. The school says they offer carrot sticks etc, however, not one single parent has ever mentioned this in conversation and so I just think it’s something they say but don’t provide.

We do talk at home about the importance of a balanced diet, but she’s still only four and temptation is there! She’s offered something a bit more nutritionally balanced she gets home, but she’s usually just full of jam sandwich!

I emailed the school to ask them if they are able to comment on this or if they ever review the food that they provide at wraparound care, but I haven’t received a reply. AIBU to push this further?

Loving your work Tanya but this was suggested to the OP on page 1 but apparently not good enough.

And she made it all the way to 'basically 100 years' old still eating a bit of fruit boiled with sugar and some bread each day. Clearly didn't seem to damage her health much.

A banana sandwich would be a better alternative

A bit melodramatic. Have you tasted chia jam? It tastes like fruit. Not sure why that is so despairing?

Just providing better food. I’m not sure what the NHS suggest for kids but here it’s all about limiting sugar and salt for them.

Are you seriously asking why savory food is better than sugary food? If so, you have some serious reading to do if you want to at least cover the basics of being knowledgeable about healthy nutrition.

I don’t have a “personal” aversion to sweets. On the contrary - I like most millenials was raised on a relatively high sugar diet just because back then our parents didn’t know how bad it was for us. As a consequence, I have a massive sweet tooth and it’s taken me decades to override my natural preference for sweet foods, and to this day it’s still a struggle. Which is why I am so against stuffing children with sugar at a young age when we know how bad it is - it sets them up for bad habits later in life.

I would be horrified if they were offering that. The evidence is mounting that the artificial sweeteners are extremely damaging to gut health and even the diabetic society doesn't recommend them.

Better food is more expensive and parents would soon moan if they had to pay more for ASC.

'Just'.

There have been a lot of posts on this thread about the significant logistical considerations that ASCs in the UK are typically working under. It's one thing not being familiar with the situation before you saw this discussion, but have you genuinely not cottoned on from the thread that it isn't anywhere near that simple? As if there weren't enough problems staffing the places already!

She's full from all the jam??? How much are they spreading 🤔

I'm sorry that your DS has a limited diet due to medical reasons (me too so I know how shit that is) but there are always going to be kids that can't have whatever the standard offering is & either an alternative is provided by the ASC or the parents. Currently not all the children will be able to eat bread.

It looks as though jam sandwiches are the alternative for the children who can't eat ham or cheese or if they just don't want ham or cheese like OP's child. To be fair, my son can eat ham and cheese too but he can't eat anything wholemeal so the bread would have to be white.

That's exactly what OP needs to do, provide an alternative if she isn't happy with what the ASC is offering.

I haven’t read the entire thread. I read the first page or two and just wanted to offer my support to the OP since most people were disagreeing with her.

Which included posts about logistics...

Completely agree, it’s not a suitable snack at all is it? And it’s 4 days a week I think. It’s also not free for goodness sake. I will never understand Mumsnet, if the OP had started an ‘AIBU to feed my child a jam sandwich for her dinner every night? ‘ she would have had a new bum hole ripped! I think some people just say anything to disagree sometimes.

This!

I haven’t read all of this thread, but I think it is one of those things that you may have to accept if you are going to put her in wraparound care.

I, too, get fed up with the hypocrisy of policies/actions, so I understand your frustration OP. Our school has a healthy eating policy, but then they often get lollipops at school for various things - madness!!

I used to get very stressed by all of this, but am learning to let go. It’s honestly not worth the energy because I doubt it will change in this instance.

It's not supposed to be a meal however, it's just a snack. Other options are available but the OP's child won't eat them.

Because feeding your own child is feeding 1-3 children at the very most usually. Not 20 children who go to ASC, 3 who are muslim, 2 who are vegan, 2 who have dairy allergies and maybe 1 like my son who has a restricted diet due to medical reasons. It's also a snack, not dinner.

Jam sandwiches suit all of those children as well as the fact that it's easy and cheap. Other options are available, OP's child just isn't opting for ham or cheese sandwiches.

Quite. Perhaps OP could spend more time on healthy eating education and how to make the best choices at home.

This thread is utterly horrendous. Get me off. So much shaming and catastrophising.

Is this a joke? Would you honestly expect a 4 year old to consistently “make healthy choices” in this type of situation? My 4 year old has a very healthy diet overall, but that’s down to the fact that the adults around her (mostly me, as it stands) provide her with primarily healthy options so that’s what she knows.

Children don’t develop the capacity to understand the importance of “healthy choices” until much later, never mind the level of impulse control it takes to do this consistently! Even many adults would struggle to “make healthy choices” when there’s a range of unhealthy options under their nose. I myself only buy at the shops food that I consider relatively healthy because I know if I buy crap and it’s in the cupboard, I’ll eat it!

Very young children need to be consistently provided with a varied range of healthy options so they get used to a range of healthy textures and flavours. Of course they will choose to eat sugary junk if offered sugary junk, but if they develop a taste for healthy options as well it at least will make it easier for them to make healthy choices in the future when they actually have the capacity to do this.

Op can tell her DC to only pick ham or cheese though or say she can only pick Jam once a week. 1 piece of cake. It’s an easy explanation that club is a snack and she needs to eat her evening meal at home. A 4 year old can follow a simple rule like that.

Our 5 year old grandson will usually choose an apple or carrots over biscuits because that’s what he’s used to/prefers, yes. One of our kids was the same 🤷‍♀️

Of course they can. Many 3 year olds can if it’s clearly explained why.