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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Jam sandwiches at wraparound care

736 replies

JBeanGarden · 18/10/2025 08:17

My reception age DD goes to a really well arranged breakfast club and after school club 4 days a week. It works very well with 2 commuting parents. I only have one gripe and that is with the food they offer. Technically the food should align with the school’s healthy eating policy, as it’s run by the school not an external provider. The school has asked parents not to provide sweet treats in lunch boxes and it’s quite strict about sandwiches.

HOWEVER the school is not transparent about the wraparound food offer and I had to email three times to get them to tell me what they provide. Once they did, they disclosed that the after school options include a range of sandwiches, including jam, plus a pudding of cake and fruit. Of course, my four-year-old always goes for a jam sandwich and ends up with a very sweet tea 4 days a week. The school says they offer carrot sticks etc, however, not one single parent has ever mentioned this in conversation and so I just think it’s something they say but don’t provide.

We do talk at home about the importance of a balanced diet, but she’s still only four and temptation is there! She’s offered something a bit more nutritionally balanced she gets home, but she’s usually just full of jam sandwich!

I emailed the school to ask them if they are able to comment on this or if they ever review the food that they provide at wraparound care, but I haven’t received a reply. AIBU to push this further?

OP posts:
80smonster · 18/10/2025 08:40

JBeanGarden · 18/10/2025 08:38

I’m going to close the thread. I suppose it confirmed my own opinions that the British population has an incredibly low bar with nutrition expectations for growing children.

Why don’t you find and pay for a school that meets your strict criteria?

Summmeeerrrrisherenearly030933939 · 18/10/2025 08:40

JBeanGarden · 18/10/2025 08:38

I’m going to close the thread. I suppose it confirmed my own opinions that the British population has an incredibly low bar with nutrition expectations for growing children.

I think it’s more pick your battles, I’d suspect the cost is relatively cheap for WAC , when you factor in wages, insurance the budget for food is minimal… if you complain enough the cost will just go up to reflect the cost increase of food

Lindy2 · 18/10/2025 08:40

Then you provide your own food.

If no one else has a problem with this then why are you making such as fuss about a jam sandwich? Your child has just started there. I expect many kids have been attending a lot longer.

You're being "that parent".

If what a service offers isn't to your liking you make changes to what you do. You don't make everyone else change to please you.

Pack a snack, that you approve of, in her bag and tell her to just eat that.

Alternatively find a different after school option.

Mandarinaduck · 18/10/2025 08:41

A jam sandwich is totally fine.
They need something with carbs and sugar mid afternoon to give them the energy boost till dinner.
A traditional afternoon tea is sandwiches, cake etc.
For me it’s not a snack but a necessary small meal for a child.

BreakfastOfChampignons · 18/10/2025 08:41

The way I see it, your options are...

  1. Suck it up, carry on as you are.
  2. Ensure she has a savoury breakfast, savoury lunch (is this a school dinner too?) and suck it up
  3. Send an alternative
  4. Discuss with her and maybe reach a compromise of jam one/two days and ham/cheese the others
  5. Find alternative childcare arrangements that fit in with your dietary preferences
soupyspoon · 18/10/2025 08:42

YABU to talk to a 4 year old about a 'balanced diet'

WTF!!!

Istanbol · 18/10/2025 08:42

JBeanGarden · 18/10/2025 08:38

I’m going to close the thread. I suppose it confirmed my own opinions that the British population has an incredibly low bar with nutrition expectations for growing children.

Flouncers corner is that way —————>

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 18/10/2025 08:43

Its a bit of jam, not crack cocaine!

Simonjt · 18/10/2025 08:43

Our sons after school club was like this, we just sent an additional pack up each day that he had, well, not a whole pack up, but some real food bits he could eat, rather than their offer of asda smart price jam and smart price bread and some tinned fruit cocktail for pudding.

outofofficeagain · 18/10/2025 08:43

What’s the difference between a jam sandwich or jam on toast - which would have been a perfectly normal post school snack in our house.

Rather have cheap jam than cheap ham (might put that on a placard)

Rosecoffeecup · 18/10/2025 08:44

One doesn't just "close the thread"

80smonster · 18/10/2025 08:44

This country is on its knees because of the persistent fucking whinging. State schools don’t have time for this bullshit and neither do NHS hospitals - either accept what’s served up as part of your extremely reasonable taxes, or stick your hand in your pocket. Bet I know which it will be…

Tiebiter · 18/10/2025 08:45

Are you not aware of the cutbacks that the childcare sector has had to make? If you want more than jam then you'll have to pay more.

outofofficeagain · 18/10/2025 08:46

I also really want to hear from the school office workers when they receive these emails.

ObtuseMoose · 18/10/2025 08:47

Having worked in and run asc, realistically it's probably no more than one slice of bread with a dollop of jam. Saying she's full from all the jam makes it sound like you think she's sat there with the jar and a spoon!

Camelcarpet · 18/10/2025 08:48

JBeanGarden · 18/10/2025 08:38

I’m going to close the thread. I suppose it confirmed my own opinions that the British population has an incredibly low bar with nutrition expectations for growing children.

If you see what any children with ARFID or restrictive sensory needs eats you'll be surprised that they are actually healthy and functioning well! It's a jam sandwich. If it's too imperfect for your child then send them in with a bento box. Or even better - a thermos with their warm tea in it!

opencecilgee · 18/10/2025 08:48

Yanbu. My kid would live on jam sandwiches given the choice

but, is a ham sandwich particularly nutritious? Probably not

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 18/10/2025 08:50

A balanced diet does include carbohydrates and fruit? That’s basically what a jam sandwich is.

You will end up causing issues with food if you demonise a very normal snack and/or treat.

Yogaandcrochet · 18/10/2025 08:51

I can't quite believe the replies you're getting here OP, I totally agree with you. A jam sandwich is nutritionally poor, terrible for teeth, and setting children up to expect sweet foods. Why can't they provide a pizza wrap with tomato sauce and cheese, a cheese or cucumber sandwich, soup and a roll, hummus? Or just fresh fruit which at least contains fibre rather than loads of added sugar. These are all low cost options - I do sometimes feel that cost is used as an excuse for providing rubbish food.

outofofficeagain · 18/10/2025 08:51

“My very affordable, convenient afterschool club is not meeting my exact preferences. How many times should I complain?”

Jellybunny56 · 18/10/2025 08:51

Pick your own child up after school & feed her if you aren’t happy with the options the school provide.

BadgernTheGarden · 18/10/2025 08:51

Jam sandwiches and cake were always traditional tea, not pc these days, but I wouldn't stress too much about it.

fishtank12345 · 18/10/2025 08:52

JBeanGarden · 18/10/2025 08:38

I’m going to close the thread. I suppose it confirmed my own opinions that the British population has an incredibly low bar with nutrition expectations for growing children.

Ok here is another thought. I used to be like you, then I had a child with autism and arfid. Who only ate jam sandwiches but now will only eat cheese. Its a daily battle feeding her anything at all. You need to relax here. We cant really keep stressing over things like that.

Topjoe19 · 18/10/2025 08:52

Please don't make a big fuss in front of your DD about it & why are you talking to her about balanced diet at 4?

Just pack your own snack for her if you're that bothered.

My DD comes home from school, saying she's only eating "healthy food" from now on 😢 which sounds great doesn't it? But she does eat healthy food - fruit, veg & some treats - maybe homemade cake, maybe a Freddo.

I find it so frustrating, my DD worrying at age 7 about her food 😑