Jam sandwiches at wraparound care

[JBeanGarden]

My reception age DD goes to a really well arranged breakfast club and after school club 4 days a week. It works very well with 2 commuting parents. I only have one gripe and that is with the food they offer. Technically the food should align with the school’s healthy eating policy, as it’s run by the school not an external provider. The school has asked parents not to provide sweet treats in lunch boxes and it’s quite strict about sandwiches.

HOWEVER the school is not transparent about the wraparound food offer and I had to email three times to get them to tell me what they provide. Once they did, they disclosed that the after school options include a range of sandwiches, including jam, plus a pudding of cake and fruit. Of course, my four-year-old always goes for a jam sandwich and ends up with a very sweet tea 4 days a week. The school says they offer carrot sticks etc, however, not one single parent has ever mentioned this in conversation and so I just think it’s something they say but don’t provide.

We do talk at home about the importance of a balanced diet, but she’s still only four and temptation is there! She’s offered something a bit more nutritionally balanced she gets home, but she’s usually just full of jam sandwich!

I emailed the school to ask them if they are able to comment on this or if they ever review the food that they provide at wraparound care, but I haven’t received a reply. AIBU to push this further?

As a small snack? Really not that big a deal.

Nightmare parent

I used to work in a playgroup/nursery and remember coming out when the parents were there to collect them saying does your kid like jam and peanut butter? The parent said yeuk and i said they do now , as the kids were allowed to make their own sandwich
and yes yes I know they are not allowed peanut butter now incase of allergies

The irony of ironies here is that there are alternatives available, it's just that the OP's child won't eat them 🫠

You are not unreasonable at all. This really wind me up. I hate the way we feed our children nowadays, the lack of support from the institutions around us in providing a healthy environment for children. It doesn't really matter if hhe offer carrot sticks or not. Very few 4 year olds will choose carrot sticks if there's cake available.

Unfortunately not all jam is vegan, some jam still uses gelatin instead of fruit pectin.

I'm not criticising your comment because if it is vegan jam then it probably is the vegan option, just wouldn't want someone new to avoiding animal products assuming all jam was safe.

Could just eat a jam butty now.

I’d suggest you either accept that this is what your child will choose to eat, find alternative care provision, or (if it’s that important to you!) rearrange your working hours to do pickup yourself. I imagine that changing up the food options will involve significant expense which would then increase the cost to parents, and if your child has a choice and isn’t making the one you wish then I guess that’s a conversation you have with your child.

If you’re teaching your child about a balanced diet then I imagine that involves making the best of what’s available, making good choices, and balancing out less than ideal options with better choices elsewhere in the week. That’s life.

Party food. Not after school every day.
Big difference between a sometime food and what school provides (which will therefore be interpreted by the child as a legitimate item)
I totally agree with OP. I have never heard of kids being given jam sandwiches in day care or as an after school snack. Two kids, years and years of day care, before and afterschool care etc etc. Cheese sandwich is fine, ham if you like (I don't), fruit, veg sticks, rice cakes, more fruit. That's it. At that age, you are setting up norms for children and they should be learning what a reasonable snack is.
It's not a party!

I don't think that giving a jam sandwich is setting children up for a life time of issues, and it's better that the children have something than nothing.

When I was at school we had the tuck shop. For 20p I could get a bag of crisp and a carton of "orange" otherwise known by my dm as the "azo-dye hell" drink.
There was no healthy option. Crisps, brightly coloured drinks and sweets were the choice.

But, you know it taught a lot.
Budgeting - if I got the cheaper sweets I could get a liquorice Catherine wheel for 2p. Or if I saved my spare 2p all week I had 10p and could get a packet of sweets for the weekend.
Choosing what to eat: I remember discovering that too many fruit salads made me feel sick. Or that Monster Munch crisps stuck to your teeth or the wham bars were difficult to eat in a break time, then stuck to your pocket/bag if you didn't wrap them up properly...
That actually these things didn't really fill me up, even though they were nice.
And that having a treat at break made me feel better when things weren't always easy.

And, you know, my diet isn't wonderful, but I don't often eat a packet of crisps, a brightly coloured drink and sweets in my break at work. In fact, I'm sure I never have... although I have a KitKat calling to me from the cupboard currently.

I'm sure the children who are having the jam sandwich will learn too from having a choice, and they'll also learn from other things through school, home and friends.

We run the risk of making things so "healthy" that children won't know how to deal with a less "healthy" option. And that they will see food as a threat, a danger rather than something that it is nice to sometimes have a treat. And even a little treat every day isn't the end of the world.

The food provided at wrap around care is just a snack, it’s not intended to be the child’s evening meal which you should be providing when you get home

I expect the OP's child is the kid that will just jump on all the sweets and sugary food at parties because they have their diets rigidly restricted at home. This is not fostering a healthy relationship with food OP.

I'm with you. We try not to ear upf but do have the odd exception. Jam is not only full of sugar, it has all sorts of other stuff in it and whilst on its own wouldn't be as bad, with a cake is too much sugar for a 4 year old. As for people saying why are you talking to a 4 year old about nutrition etc, I have a 4 year old and we always talk about what's healthy and what ingredients are in food that's bad, same with my 7 and 8 year olds. People are so conditioned to just accept that the food we eat is ok in moderation, but in actual fact 90% tesco is poision. Even the bread they put the jam is is so bad for you. Also dementia is diabetes of the brain!!!

That's an unfair and unkind comment. Not true at all. I don't know why some people post in AIBU if they just want a thread of people agreeing with them and don't really want opinions. It's pointless.

Nothing wrong with a piece n jam and even better when it’s home made

I never buy my kids sweets, tend not to buy much sugary foods, but even if there are treats in the house, all 3 of mine will come in with cucumbers. We educate ours to know what's healthy and what's not and they make the choice for themselves.

Other shopping outlets are available. Your view of dementia as diabetes of the brain must make for some interesting discussions at home.

I think it's unkind and sneering, which is why it got my back up.

I know it seems like a big deal, but it's really not. It's a jam sandwich.

Many parents would kill for decent, reliable wraparound care.

Frankly, if my daughter's school provided ASC that ran as late as I needed and offered a snack, I would let them feed her all the jam sandwiches they like

And me. I also don’t think jam is as bad as plastic ham and crappy cheese.

When I read stories on here of people claiming their dc never have sweet things and will always choose the healthy option, it reminds me of a story my Granny used to tell.

There was sugar rationing at the time, but in their street there was one lady who used to crow that they didn't need their sugar ration. Her children had never had anything sweet, and if they had didn't like it. They never even asked for sweet things...

In the street they were renowned.
After school and holidays they'd be round at all the other houses, begging for sweets/cake/jam etc. They weren't above sneaking it out of cupboards if they found an empty kitchen.

If ever any exasperated mother spoke to their mother, she'd deny it because "they don't like it so it's not them" - or dismiss it as jealousy because her dc were "so good".

I suspect that also they're either very young or else they're like the secondary school dc I see on their way home from school swapping their sim back into the non-smart phone and hiding the smart phone away to keep their parents happy.

Welcome to Thank Christ I Don't Work In Education episode 4,732. Is a jam sandwich the pinnacle of nutritional excellence? No. Does it matter if they're eating well the rest of the time? No. Emailing three times about this, Jesus.

I work in an after school club and it's meant to be a snack not their tea, also I feel very sorry for the children who are stuck in breakfast club then after school club as well when only 4 years old?! It's such a long day for them, I think a jam sarnie should be the least of your worries.

There's absolutely no need for this. The OP didn't ask for advice on their childcare or their working hours.

Some parents have to work. If you don't, then good for you. This doesn't give you the right to stick your judgy nose in where it wasn't asked for.

How awful that you work in an after school club but judge parents for using it.

Is a jam sandwich the pinnacle of nutritional excellence? No. Does it matter if they're eating well the rest of the time? No. Emailing three times about this, Jesus

This sums it up perfectly.

I also don’t understand how the child can be stuffed with jam sandwiches so will not eat their tea. Surely, it’s a snack, I imagine half a jam sandwich would be sufficient?

Decades later I still remember my after school snack at home, 3 crackers with a cube of cheese on each. For a ‘special treat’ now and then pickles would be added. I was then sufficiently hungry by tea time to eat it all. I can’t remember what we gave ours as an after school snack, but it wasn’t any quantity where they wouldn’t be hungry and eat their tea!