To think most 5AA and 4AA rated embryos are boys?

[wanttobegirlmum]

I live in a country where it’s not possible to find out the gender of the embryos before transferring, like it’s possible in the USA for example, although we’ve done PGTA genetic testing. For personal reasons it is likely that the next successful embryo transfer (if we are lucky enough to have a successful one) would be our last baby. I really strongly have a preference towards a girl but our clinic doesn’t let us select embryos. This time I asked to go for a lower graded one, we went for the top graded one anyway because they missed / ignored my request, maybe didn’t pass it onto the embryologist who was defrosting, I don’t know. The next embryo we would go for a 5AA day 6, although they say that it was ready for PGTA only at day 6 but was a blastocyst by day 5. That’s most likely a boy, right? The next one down is 4AA day 6. I’d rather go for our 5BA or even 4BB as I’ve heard more chance of girls with lower grades. Is there any way I can insist on going for a lower graded one? In your experience were your higher rated embryos boys?

Something very Brave New World about this post, right down to the Alpha and Beta embryos.

Op, maybe you should read the book.

Eugenics was exactly the word that came to mind.

When IVF was first invented, lots of critics warned that some people would use it like OP is trying to.

I’m sorry you’re struggle to have another child, it’s so tough. But you must not project your experience onto OP who has equally had a hard time.

Gender preference is common and totally understandable. Especially for people who already have one or more of the same sex. Acting like it’s unethical is really unkind to OP who just wants a chance of having a particular sex.

Embryos are not children. In the same way we must not shame women who have abortions. These are cells.

I transferred 2 succrssful embryos both 4BB, frozen in the same cycle. The first was a boy, the second a girl.

It's already here. Rich people in the US can pay for the "right" genetics. I would presume blond and blueyed.

"Gender preference is common and totally understandable. Especially for people who already have one or more of the same sex. Acting like it’s unethical is really unkind to OP who just wants a chance of having a particular sex."

Hoping is one thing. Choosing via ivf is unethical and is illegal in the UK (with the exception of a medical need eg a genetic disease which only affects one gender).

I’m completely against choosing the sex of a baby
Thank goodness it’s illegal here

As an aside
Have we all lost the meaning of what we are at birth
Gender !!!!! cannot be determined by our biology

This thread is a sex selection issue.

Not gender

TBF, the OP said they are somewhere that doesn't allow selection for any reason and has not confirmed whether their desire for a girl is just a preference or a potential genetic issue, so this may be a case in which you would support their choice.

i had my child via IVF and had no preference but all the way through my pregnancy I was so convinced I would have a baby boy for the same reasons. I had a girl.

This really should not be what IVF is for

Grim as fuck, gender stereotypes already to the fore, why do you want a girl? What do you want from a girl that a boy will not provide?
Will you put your girl up for adoption if they play rugby/ football/ cricket, or don’t like shopping?
literally so very shit for your yet to be conceived baby

It’s at least interesting to consider if it does lead to more boys.

i had IVF and no preference because I was desperate for a child but the science is interesting.

from one fresh round, best two embryos on day 3 (my clinic didn’t go to blasto), had one boy.

the rest frozen, the next best two used for another round, one girl born.

would also be interest to know the birth order of sexes from women who have multiple children from one round. Do they tend to lead with boys?

I have read a few studies about this. The higher quality blastocyst were 55-60% male (depending on the study).

The lower quality were 45-50% male. In the grand scheme of things the percentage difference wouldn't sway me. Your focus should be on getting pregnant, staying pregnant and having a healthy baby.

If I were you, I'd be counting my lucky stars that you have such good quality blastocysts.

On a personal note. I had 2 fresh and 6 frozen cycles of ICSI. I lost 2 twin pregnancies after seeing heartbeats. The chances of that happening were around less than 2 %. I lost 4 babies during my TTC journey. I got 1 child and a whole heap of trauma but I count my lucky stars everyday.

No it’s not understandable, I have 3 sons who are wonderful, spectacular individuals
their sex is irrelevant

Interesting. I have a 6AA hatching embryo who turned into my first boy. My second boy was spontaneous natural pregnancy and I’m about to start a FET. I’d love to have a girl for our last baby as I’ve already got two boys. But GS also illegal in my country. My next embryo is a 5BA so wonder what it is. We had ICSI which I think is slightly weighed to boys compared to normal IVF which I think is more girls.

Well, if you don’t actually want a baby, just a dress up doll, then sure, go for the ones less likely to survive. But if you actually want a child, YABVVVVVU.

It is unethical. That’s why it’s illegal in the UK and many other places.

Yes I don't get it I really don't, the OP has got top grade embryos, most people going through IVF would be over the moon with that and wouldn't give a stuff what sex the baby is...come on OP

That’s really interesting about the chance that male embryos might develop faster to begin with.
My DS1 was a high quality embryo (although unplanted at day 3 with another as the others all stopped dividing).
We then managed to have a natural pregnancy of a boy too and I’ve always wondered if it had something to do with the sperm who managed to survive DH’s varicocele and the sex we ended up having.

I hope you get what you want OP - i always thought I’d make an amazing feminist girl mum but my boys are incredible and teaching them is the best thing ever and that they can play/be/care for whatever they want is so important and special - bringing boys up to be emotionally aware and stand up for what’s right is amazing.

This isn’t hugely different to women trying to time sex to make a boy or a girl based around expected ovulation. I had six ivf transfers and just went in the order given, the clinic I used had a different grading system. I didn’t have an IVF baby in the end (I do have 2 kids now).

@wanttobegirlmumi think you’re overthinking this. Statistically it must make only a very tiny difference. Go with the one the clinic recommends.

Here in England you can’t select the sex either. I think that’s right personally, and I say that as someone who did have a preference.

No clue. But my 5ab was a boy🤷🏻‍♀️

But it is unethical. Women with fertility issues are not exempt from criticism.

My boy was the lower grade. Why didn't you just go to Cyprus or be like most of us infertiles and be grateful for what you get?

We’re about to start another cycle with PGT SR in the UK. Being totally honest, I do struggle with the clinic knowing so much about the embryos, including sex, but not being able to tell us. So, just wanted to say OP that if you’re feeling like you wish you were able to have a preference, given the clinic already know so much - I get it. Feel there’s been a few unkind comments here.

I hadn’t heard of this theory before now. My 5AA embryo was a girl, so whereas according to the above theories there might be slightly better odds on a 5AA being a boy, you never know! I already had a boy, and so when we did IVF for no. 2 I really really wanted a girl. If she had ended up being a boy, I would have loved him just as much and I would probably have tried again, wanting a girl. When my baby turned out to be a girl I cannot tell you how delighted i was, and every day I am grateful for my miracle baby girl. I was incredibly close to my mother, who died before I had children, and I really wanted the chance to have a similar relationship with my own daughter. There’s no guarantee that will happen, but for now oh my goodness I love having a girl. I love my boy with all my heart, he’s an amazing child, so kind and gentle, and I am immensely proud of the young teen he is becoming, but my experience is that there is something very special about having a daughter, purely because we are both girls, much as my son bonds with his father in a different way to how I have bonded with him. I can understand the desire to want to choose. If the OP really wants the choice, she can fly her embryos to the US where they are allowed to test the sex of the embryos. At the same time, I understand fully the reasons why this isn’t allowed over here. I chose not to fly to the US, but if I had had a boy, and then another boy, would I have? Most likely, yes. As it is, I’m very happy with my DS and DD, and now they’re older, rather relieved I don’t have 4 children.

When my BF was trying for DC2, she would talk about how much she wanted a girl, and how she had heard if she ate x,y and z, and did certain things, it could affect the sex…how is this any different to the OP’s current speculation? I think in her heart she knows that 5 or 6AA is no guarantee either way, but if she would really like a girl or a boy, what’s wrong with her trying? It’s not eugenics because there is no solid scientific evidence that choosing a 5AA will give her a boy, or vice versa. It’s a wish. Much as my friend wished for a girl, avoided salt and certain vegetables in accordance with what she had heard, and ended up with a boy. Who she loves with all her heart!! When the baby arrives, you love them no matter what.