To think most 5AA and 4AA rated embryos are boys?

[wanttobegirlmum]

I live in a country where it’s not possible to find out the gender of the embryos before transferring, like it’s possible in the USA for example, although we’ve done PGTA genetic testing. For personal reasons it is likely that the next successful embryo transfer (if we are lucky enough to have a successful one) would be our last baby. I really strongly have a preference towards a girl but our clinic doesn’t let us select embryos. This time I asked to go for a lower graded one, we went for the top graded one anyway because they missed / ignored my request, maybe didn’t pass it onto the embryologist who was defrosting, I don’t know. The next embryo we would go for a 5AA day 6, although they say that it was ready for PGTA only at day 6 but was a blastocyst by day 5. That’s most likely a boy, right? The next one down is 4AA day 6. I’d rather go for our 5BA or even 4BB as I’ve heard more chance of girls with lower grades. Is there any way I can insist on going for a lower graded one? In your experience were your higher rated embryos boys?

True. But ... both my Dc were icsi IVF (back before blastocysts were a thing- they were put back at 4 cell & fingers crossed!). Because of an awful relationship with my Mother I hoped for a boy baby. My 2nd child I hoped for a girl. I had 2 babies, in that order. I was VERY lucky. However my boy child got covid, went into heart failure & nearly died. With lifelong alterations to his heart he will not be physically able to be a 'typical boy' now. My Dd is both gay & believes shes trans, so not a 'typical girl'. Additionally both are ASD so life is more complicated for us all. You get what you get: your job is to love them.

I find this actually really disturbing. I didn't have IVF and thankful to fall pregnant relatively easily (surprisingly as I have PCOS) but even so, I only ever wanted a healthy baby and genuinely didn't care whether it was a boy or girl - just a healthy, happy baby of my own was all I needed.

I can't comprehend going through fertility treatment and the heartache that typically accompanies it, and being so focused on wanting a girl that you would select a less optimal choice for a healthy, successful pregnancy.

Im dumbfounded at this post.

I miscarried a 5AA which was a girl. No success since!

Same ☹️

If you are having IVF, surely you just want the best chance of a successful pregnancy?

I think they always select the highest quality embryos for transfer in IVF, so if there was a significant bias towards one sex that would show clearly in the overall data.

Human births skew very slightly in favour of boys anyway, that is nothing new. A sex ratio up to 107 boys per 100 girl births is normal.

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/sex-ratios-at-birth-in-the-united-kingdom-2017-to-2021/sex-ratios-at-birth-in-the-united-kingdom-2017-to-2021

For assisted conception, a quick search of the scientific literature suggests sex ratio varies, but still only slightly, and the direction towards boys or girls is dependent on many factors - infertility type, paternal age, fertilization method, embryo transfer stage, gonadotropin duration etc.

https://reproductive-health-journal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12978-023-01723-8

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8312283/

https://academic.oup.com/hropen/article/2019/4/hoz020/5581648

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10548202/

I thought it was Day 5 embryos are often boys and Day 6 embryos are often girls. Boys make faster blastocysts.

Whilst you aren’t wrong about ‘higher grades’ being more likely to be males, all our embryos were day 6 blastocycts and we were told they were more likely to be female than day 5 blasts because of the ‘boys develop faster’ theory…. So I don’t think it’s as straight cut as going by the quality, it also depends on the rate they developed…

To add, none of our 3 day 6 blasts stuck so not sure which theory was correct, not much help I know!

This is quite sickening. Allllllways about the boys!

Or is the OP simply saying “we want to try some lower graded embryos because they may have at least as good a chance of success, they might just be lower graded because this is what happens with embryos that will be girls”

ie the grading system is misleading?

If you're considering eugenics to avoid gender disappointment I'd argue you don't actually want a baby that much at all.

Male and female embryos generally develop different. My DD was prem & v small. We didn't find out gender before birth, but i was desperately hoping for a girl purely because the fetal medicine consultant told me prem girls had better outcomes in terms of breathing.

I think it is a plausible conclusion.

The embryos that progress faster tend to be boys i.e., the xy sperm is stronger and faster, the xx sperm is slower but lives longer.

So, in that regards, I would say the day 6s are likely girls; I think the grading can be a bit hard to decipher as they don't measure the 'rate of progression' from day 4 - so was it (as an example) a 5AA to start with or was it a 5AB/5BA/5BB first before becoming a 5AA etc.

I don't think there's any guarantee to it though; it is all down to chance.

Tried to Edit (couldn't) but just to say:
Sorry, OP, you didn't need my fertility history!
You are not wrong to hope for a particular gender just because you are having IVF. Perhaps you can 'game' this by embyo selection (mine was way too long ago, hence unnecessary details). But, IF you have the gender you hope for in a healthy baby who goes onto be a healthy child it's a bonus.

As someone who conceived naturally I cannot begin to imagine what you went through, however I’m gobsmacked that your only consideration is the sex of the baby. Surely a healthy pregnancy and ultimately a healthy baby should be your priority.

Just hope for a healthy baby, please.

I’ll never know what my first two ivf pregnancies were because I miscarried them both. My third was a boy and by that point we were on the lower graded embryos. He’s snoring on top of me now. I honestly don’t get why you’d want to risk a higher failure rate and have no baby than a boy.

This comes across as if you can't have a girl you'd rather no baby at all. Not sure if that's actually how you feel, but if it is... Maybe it's best not to have another child?

God you’re getting a hard time on here OP. Wishing you all the best with whatever you decide and I hope you have a happy outcome. IVF is punishing - best of luck on your journey x

My (now 21yo!) 4AA embryo is a girl.

My 5AA was a girl. So yeah really doesnt hold
up, sorry.

my boy is highly likely to have been my day 5 5AA and my day 6 4BB a girl. I don’t know for certain obviously since I’m in the UK however I have boy/girl twins. My 5AA was a fresh embryo and my day 6 was frozen - transferred on same day but they said the 5AA was very active and 4BB slow to expand and obviously a stage behind as well as a day late to become a blastocyst. Both stuck but my girl twin always measured several days behind her brother and the clinic said it was highly likely she was the day 6

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hold up, as OP didn’t say a girl is impossible, just asking if less likely.

This! What the fuck have I just read??