Do actors fall in love a bit with each other in real life?

[IfIwereahotairballoon]

I’m in a drama group and in our next play I am playing one of the main characters in a love story. I’m happily married and this is the first time I’ve kissed anyone other than DH in more than 10 years, so it’s felt like quite a big deal.

And honestly I’m completely infatuated. Since we first rehearsed the kiss last week I have not been able to stop thinking about it. Every time she messages me (which is only about play stuff) I get a little frisson. It’s absolutely mad because if we hadn’t been cast together as these two characters I wouldn’t have given her a second thought! (I’m straight, as far as I know 😂)

How do professional actors do this as a job without falling madly in love all the time?!

After the play we will go our separate ways and I’ll probably never see her again. Nothing is ever going to happen beyond the play - I love my DH so much, we’ve got a beautiful family and I would NEVER risk blowing up all our lives. Oh and she has a girlfriend and almost certainly zero interest in me.

I know it’s not real. It just feels really real when we’re acting it. And I don’t know how to dissociate from that feeling. And maybe it’s a little bit exciting to feel that thrill of falling in love after having been in a stable relationship for so long.

I don’t even know what I want from this thread! Other than maybe people to say “yeah that’s normal, you’re not gay and you’ll get over it”!

Not even joking when I say I had never thought about a woman until I dreamed I slept with this woman I knew. I couldnt stop thinking about it & we then randomly bumped into eachother on a night out and got together! I was in my 20’s and I’m now 10 years later, never had another boyfriend, married to a woman & we have 2 children! It can start in wild ways haha.

Wow what a story! Love that.

I’ve thought for a while I might be bi to be honest. I got married young before I really had a chance to explore it all. I don’t regret it because DH is amazing and I really can’t imagine being married to a kinder, funnier more wonderful person (we’re very well suited) and we’ve made two incredible little humans but I do occasionally have weird little crushes on my female friends in my drama group, most of whom are bi or lesbian. (Including one who played my mum in our first play together! She’s got a girlfriend now but for years I’ve felt like we have this weird chemistry.)

It's interesting how someone you wouldn't notice changes in perspective when you become close and more intimate. Over the years I've had friends I would never have dreamed of feeling a desire for but once a certain spark or depth has been lit you think about them differently. It's usually just temporary so just enjoy the fantasy lol 😆 xx

I had a really lovely, unexpected relationship with someone I wouldn’t have looked at twice were it not for our many snogging scenes. It’s definitely a thing and great if you’re both single

What’s the play?

Love this story ☺️ ❤️
I do find men attractive , but I’m being nothing but honest when I say I’ve given dating a woman serious thought, especially the last couple of years , just I find women attractive & I can’t seem to meet my male person .. 🤷🏻‍♀️…

Oh it’s a very hard hitting, high-brow drama….

Just kidding, it’s a comedy. I can’t possibly say which one though, that would be INCREDIBLY outing!

Diane Keaton had relationships with Al Pacino and Woody Allen. So it looks like it.

This is really interesting! I hope your play goes well.
I always think Tamsin Grieg is amazing at any scenes where she has to get off with anyone. I always believe she 100% fancies the other person

Johnny Depp and Amber heard.

the couple from trying rafe spall and Esther smith

I often wonder this - the scene between Keira Knightley and James McAvoy in Atonement - my word. This is how I know I couldn't be an actor!

Here in the U.S. there were two people who worked together on a popular news program. Both were married to other people. They had assignments that involved a lot of traveling together. They ended up divorcing their partners and being fired from the network. I heard yesterday that they're marrying each other now.

I have an incredibly good male friend I met whilst doing a sexy scene in a show. There is absolutely no spark between us. I kissed him on the cheek but nothing. I think it is possible to separate acting and real life but that many people confuse the two.

People have assumed we must have had or are having an affair. It's certainly broken down barriers in our new friendship. However he's also now really close to my husband as well. It's just not sexual.

I've worked with actors for 30 years, short answer-yes it's very common.

You see that’s it though pp , there was no spark ..
You know the way there is people you know to see in life that you meet in local shop or wherever, & each time you see one another there are looks exchanged, there is an attraction there ..
However , it never goes any further than exchanging looks at one another , eye contact & left at that ..
Imagine then acting out sexy scenes with these people..
I mean I can really see how it happens in acting career’s…

Propinquity - a word I came across for the first time recently thanks to Agatha Christie. 😀

My DS is an actor (no, you won’t have heard of him!) and had a really tricky time in his RL relationship last year when he was in a very intense on stage one….

I knew someone who worked for years in costume at the National Theatre. She said that actors in a developing on-stage relationship have to access that part of their psyche which would be capable of being in love with the other person. That, she said, often leads to an off-stage romance, too. I thought that was pretty convincing - though I wouldn’t accept it as an excuse if my husband was into amateur dramatics!

Well I’m glad it’s not just me!!

The funny thing is our kiss is a fairly PG peck on the lips 😂 imagine if I had to do an actual sex scene - I wouldn’t be able to cope AT ALL!!

It’s an interesting thought. The West End actress (although probs better known as the bloke from Mcflys sister) Carrie Hope Fletcher always seems to fall in love with her co-stars. She just did a tour of Calamity Jane and if you judged from her instagram alone, you’d easily think she was in a relationship with her costar, when she actually had a husband and child left at home

She doesn't fall in love with her co-stars at all, she builds a good rapport with people she works with and they get along.
Her husband and child also weren't 'left at home' they spent a lot of the tour with her. She's now in Elf over christmas with her husband.

A lot of the examples people have mentioned are films, this is a bit different to theatre in that they'll literally be living in each others laps and doing the intimacy coordination repeatedly in addition to doing the press tours, marketing, long film days in trailers with hair and make up each day.

If you work in the industry then you'll know there's nothing less sexy than a kiss and sex scene as they are so hugely orchestrated.

Inwhich case, OP I'm sorry to say its not the norm and it may be a sexuality thing you've never explored. Or the taboo of it!

Well an update: the run has ended and I’m very sad now. I had the most magical time at every single performance. Lots of comments from audience members about our chemistry. Our first kiss always got a huge whoop.

We spent a lot of time together during the run and we get on well, then at the aftershow party we were chatting and she said “I don’t know about you but I’m not attracted to you in real life at all” and I was stunned. I just couldn’t believe it. A mutual friend said to me afterwards “don’t be that straight girl who thinks the lesbian fancies her it’s sad” which I thought was a bit harsh (but probably fair). We just had SUCH chemistry - it turns out she is a phenomenal actress.

Reflecting on it all I wonder if we were able to have the chemistry we did because it was so safe. Both of us are in very long term committed relationships so nothing off stage was ever going to happen. I think I would have held back a bit if I had thought there was a chance of anything in real life.

So that’s that and normal life resumes and I know I will get over her but it is going to take a little bit of time. It was very intense, the whole thing.

When you think of it it must be all exciting and you need to make the chemistry look good- it’s hardly surprising, but terrible for the other half

What did you say OP when she said ‘ I don’t know about you but I’m not attracted to you at all in real life ‘ ?

I don’t think I was cool about it. I think I said “what?! Really? REALLY?!” and she probably thought I was joking.