The most important decision a woman will ever make is

[Bottlefall]

Who the father of her children will be.

I'd love to think it isn't true, but it is. Who the mother of a man's children is important, but it doesn't impact every aspect of their life, career, health, financial situation in the same way.

Not a decision ove ever had to make. Obviously the answer is both

The moment you reach the "fuck it" age and decide to tell everyone what you really think of them, stop being walked all over and don't care about doing your hair and putting your make up on to go to the shop.

I think about this a lot. I don't know if I would say it's the most important because women can live important and fufilling lives without making the decision to have children at all. HOWEVER, choosing to have kids with a shithead (even if he doesn't seem like a shithead when you make the choice) is the thing which has fucked life up for the most women I know. In my experience more women get fucked up by that than by drugs or drink. Of the women I know who are living in poverty, not fufilling their potential, stalled in their careers, knackered, mentally ill or deeply unhappy to the point it's affecting their physical health there is so often a shit dad to their kids somewhere in there that mangled their finances, their ability to work, their childrens wellbeing or even if he's still in the household just isn't doing his share so the woman is knackered and losing herself.

I don't remember the OP saying the only important decision a woman can make is who to have children with...

@Bottlefall , I'd love to think it isn't true, but it is. Who the mother of a man's children is important, but it doesn't impact every aspect of their life, career, health, financial situation in the same way.
Because a mother has no influence at all on a child, does she?

And there’s me thinking it was to spit or swallow on a first date.

Wine tasting sounds like a lovely first date

😆

I think it’s who you chose to be your life partner (if you do chose one).

Theres a big difference between choosing to have sex with a shit head and choosing to have kids with a shit head

It’s definitely AN important decision - but it’s also a false one because you never make it with all the information available. It’s only really smug people who truthfully lucked up with their partners who think you can predict what their partner will be like as a father. You can’t.

A woman’s choice of career can also be vitally important, and whether to continue with it post children, as it affects your ability to leave said man if he’s not suitable. And if you don’t have children, or if you do and your happy with your partner, it massively affects your quality of life.

Whether to have a fringe or not.

been there sooooo many times.

Isn't it whether or not to have children at all?

Hard agree.

I think choices made before can be more important such as whether you are financial independent and capable of supporting yourself, and indeed choosing whether to have a serious relationship. None of those may actually involve a man at all at this point.

Yes, of course. Having a child to a complete arsehole and being tethered to them in the joint venture of raising a child and subjecting your child to that father forever, has the legs to decimate your life and your child's life in a way that many other bad decisions cannot hold a candle to.

Well, I thought I'd found a decent bloke who turned out to be a shithead after our DS arrived, so it's not a cut and dried thing. My most important decision was whether I was going to keep DS or not. But I found out I was 13 weeks pregnant during an early scan and couldn't handle the idea of an abortion at that stage in pregnancy. He'd made it further than my first pregnancy, which I miscarried, so that was it.

ETA: Luckily the sperm donor isn't involved and I have full parental responsibility. So that's a blessing. DS has met his father five times, and I don't think he's ever going to see him again, or meet any of his father's side of the family, although DS has met his older half sister once.

... is this the right man, or woman, for me to marry.

What follows on from that is touch and go but at least if you get it sort of right at the beginning it has a better chance of giving you a happy life.

I made the wrong decision nearly 50 years ago.

Who they choose to share their life with (partner / type of people they are friends with / family members etc). Choice of long-term partner (or choice not to have one) is arguably the most important decision, regardless of whether you have children.

No, I don't think that's true. You could have a ten minute shag with a random stranger, choose the keep the child and put a flame thrower though a peaceful life with surrounded by kind people.

No it isn’t. The most important decision women will make is about their financial independence and careers. It’s about putting those first. Because this mitigates most other shit decisions we might make. Money = choice.

Absolutely. Not everyone wants kids, or can have kids, so how can who the father is be the most important decision?

Choosing who to marry is peanuts compared with choosing who to have kids with. You can divorce and walk away from a shitty marriage, but you're normally stuck dealing with a shitty co-parent (who may also mess up your kid) for many, many years.

(Obviously there is always the option to stay single, and/or not to have children. But the decision to have kids with a person is the one with the biggest potential to go wrong.)

I also agree with this. So many women put their financial future in someone else's hands, or just don't even make any plans at all, it's like betting you're whole future on "red".