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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Things you wouldn't admit to in real life

1000 replies

TwinklyFawn · 14/10/2025 13:13

Light hearted. I dislike my mum's boyfriend. I am sick of his constant grunting when i ask him a question. It is like he is incapable of saying yes or no to a simple question. He is a terrible bus driver. He drives like he is on a race track.

OP posts:
Jtfrtj · 15/10/2025 18:12

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/10/2025 17:55

It gets more complicated when you decide to ask why people find it hard to control themselves around food. I am obese, and it is something I have struggled with my whole life. I know I eat because I am depressed and have poor self esteem, because I was bullied at school. Food has never let me down or hurt me, when too many other things in this world have.

Being obese depresses me too - and the simple answer is eat less, lose weight, be less depressed - but my stupid brain fights against that.

I am doing better at the moment - losing weight gradually - but I absolutely hate it when I see people being so judgemental towards people like me. We are still people and do not deserve your nastiness. Being fat is not a moral failing.

Just all due respect, none of that cancels out my original post yesterday, which was stating that people are overweight from a lack of discipline with food. I was arguing the point that people are not “naturally big” as so many claim.

Regardless of what triggered this, you lack discipline with food. That is a fact, just have just admitted it yourself in not so many words. I’m not saying you’re a bad person, it just gets tiring when people pretend that overweight people are big through no influence of their own.

Cookieandcandy · 15/10/2025 18:13

Elektra1 · 15/10/2025 16:26

Think this one vindicates @UncharteredWaterspoint

Not at all. I’m not cheating the system.

youalright · 15/10/2025 18:15

Lavenderandbrown · 15/10/2025 16:44

@youalright You can test negative (meaning no evidence) of POTS based on multiple objective tests and still be very unhappy you are unable to be diagnosed with POTS So where many people would be happy their biopsy is negative or their echocardiogram is normal most POTS pts are not happy to be “negative. And over 50% do not meet objective criteria irregardless of their subjective symptoms

Of course there not happy tests are coming back negative when they feel really unwell and just want answers

Namechanged555 · 15/10/2025 18:18

Amiable · 15/10/2025 00:06

I have a favourite child

i think most of us have.

MyDeftDuck · 15/10/2025 18:21

I don’t like any of my OH brothers. He has several, one makes drunken passes at anything with a pulse…….another thinks he’s so bloody clever but is actually thick as pudding, another fleeced their dad for thousands and the last one is a bit of a twat too.

Namechanged555 · 15/10/2025 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

daddysgirlnot · 15/10/2025 18:24

ticklyfeet · 15/10/2025 10:28

I understand that completely. My entire working life was in finance and corporate banking, but so much changed in the years leading up to my retirement that the career I used to love became a nightmare and stressed the hell out of me!
Bide your time if retirement is coming.

Thank you. That’s the plan. Just keeping my head down until it’s time to go x

Cookieandcandy · 15/10/2025 18:24

MyDeftDuck · 15/10/2025 18:21

I don’t like any of my OH brothers. He has several, one makes drunken passes at anything with a pulse…….another thinks he’s so bloody clever but is actually thick as pudding, another fleeced their dad for thousands and the last one is a bit of a twat too.

They sound awful. Does your OH like them as I would question his judgement if he does?

Spongblobsparepants · 15/10/2025 18:25

godmum56 · 15/10/2025 17:21

The people who don't believe in FME? Are you saying that human medical knowledge has gone as far as it can and that there are no more 'syndromes" that can't have enough discovered about them to define a cause and find a treatment? IBS is still a syndrome but there is no doubt about its reality, similarly Achenbach's Syndrome. edit sorry meant FND

Edited

One person I know with this condition (whose parent posted constantly about it on social media) recovered when they went off to university. I used to see them whizz about in their wheelchair, propelling themself by their legs. 🤔The other just decided they weren’t going to walk one day, although I believe was possibly family trauma related.. Came back to school after a holiday - another miraculous recovery!

Another person I know of, who is desperately seeking the formal diagnosis for what they have researched through FB groups, fakes seizures and complains that ambulances won’t come out for them (it’s debatable that one was even called in the first place).

It is also something that seems to affect girls who take testosterone.

Who knows, it might be a really thing, but seems to be a catch-all for myriad unexplained symptoms.

Octoberthewhatnow · 15/10/2025 18:26

I am delighted that karma came and bit that spiteful, jealous, poisonous bitch right on the arse. Hard. Unlucky love.

longlocks · 15/10/2025 18:27

It was the 10th anniversary of charging for bags in England earlier this month. Still get people who never bothered to bring their own bags.

Majority of school aged kids weren’t born or don’t remember the time of free bags.

These people don’t realise that if buy 10 bags a week for 35p (some places charge 40-60p) over a year that is £182. I rather have 10-14 bottles of gin!

Bringemout · 15/10/2025 18:27

Everytime I’m in a car I have this urge to just open the door and let myself fall out and be hit by a car. Always had since a small child, it’s never gone away.

I think I have a really bad bout of limerence for someone I have to see twice a week. It’s a relief when I go on holiday. It’s been going on for a year I think, I wish it would just go away. May be a peri-menopause thing.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt an all consuming passionate love (except once and he turned out to be really abusive so it was love bombing not love) and I probably never will. That makes me sad.

I feel a bit disappointed that people can’t debate properly anymore. I just see people throwing insults and then sitting back smugly as if they are really clever when they look quite stupid to me.

Praying4Peace · 15/10/2025 18:29

Jtfrtj · 15/10/2025 01:57

Food availability- which all comes back to my point about lack of self discipline and accountability 😂 you’re making my point for me now. No one forced the food in their mouths. I love the trend in this country that everything is always someone else’s fault. It’s easier than taking a hard look in the mirror I guess.

I do have the same views of junkies and alcoholics too actually. We all have choices in life.

Let's hope you never have to deal with the nightmare and sledgehammer effects of these

HelpMeUnpickThis · 15/10/2025 18:30

Lavenderandbrown · 15/10/2025 01:13

i changed my job because we ended up with a POTS clinic….all young young woman…and I hated treating them. I didn’t trust them and felt I had to be so very very careful every single thing I said and did.

@Lavenderandbrown sorry what is a POTS clinic?

MyDeftDuck · 15/10/2025 18:30

Cookieandcandy · 15/10/2025 18:24

They sound awful. Does your OH like them as I would question his judgement if he does?

I don’t think he is very impressed to be honest……think I’ve got the best of the bunch! 😊

ballroompink · 15/10/2025 18:31

Spongblobsparepants · 15/10/2025 16:49

I think FND is made-up nonsense, the fashionable ‘unexplainable’ illness du jour and is often suffered by those who buy funky resin walking canes as a fashion accessory and are questioning their gender identity. <Ducks for cover>

I think of these people as 'Lucy and Yak Facebook Group people'.

Andprettygood · 15/10/2025 18:32

Cookieandcandy · 15/10/2025 01:17

It pisses me off how it is almost fashionable to have MH issues these days when I have spent my whole life trying to hide mine when they were a shameful secret which would have destroyed my career if discovered. Real MH issues are so debilitating and not just a touch of anxiety.

so you don’t get PIP for your MH condition? @Cookieandcandy

Cookieandcandy · 15/10/2025 18:32

MyDeftDuck · 15/10/2025 18:30

I don’t think he is very impressed to be honest……think I’ve got the best of the bunch! 😊

Thats good to hear 😀

Cookieandcandy · 15/10/2025 18:35

Andprettygood · 15/10/2025 18:32

so you don’t get PIP for your MH condition? @Cookieandcandy

Yes, I do but I’d rather not have had the MH issues and I certainly don’t advertise them like a fashion statement

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 15/10/2025 18:36

youalright · 14/10/2025 22:51

I use sarcasm to tell people to their face what I really think of them they think I'm joking I'm not

I think people will know this! My sister does this and it’s very obvious 😂 many a true is spoken in jest etc etc…

Jtfrtj · 15/10/2025 18:36

Praying4Peace · 15/10/2025 18:29

Let's hope you never have to deal with the nightmare and sledgehammer effects of these

Advocating violence because I don’t agree with your opinion 😂 just admit you can’t articulate yourself well enough to debate

Andprettygood · 15/10/2025 18:40

Cookieandcandy · 15/10/2025 18:35

Yes, I do but I’d rather not have had the MH issues and I certainly don’t advertise them like a fashion statement

So you didn’t * I have spent my whole life trying to hide mine when they were a shameful secret *. You applied for PIP and got it.

Cookieandcandy · 15/10/2025 18:40

Jtfrtj · 15/10/2025 18:36

Advocating violence because I don’t agree with your opinion 😂 just admit you can’t articulate yourself well enough to debate

Edited

That’s so dismissive of other people’s struggles. How can you possibly know how you would behave if you were living with another persons issues?

godmum56 · 15/10/2025 18:41

Spongblobsparepants · 15/10/2025 18:25

One person I know with this condition (whose parent posted constantly about it on social media) recovered when they went off to university. I used to see them whizz about in their wheelchair, propelling themself by their legs. 🤔The other just decided they weren’t going to walk one day, although I believe was possibly family trauma related.. Came back to school after a holiday - another miraculous recovery!

Another person I know of, who is desperately seeking the formal diagnosis for what they have researched through FB groups, fakes seizures and complains that ambulances won’t come out for them (it’s debatable that one was even called in the first place).

It is also something that seems to affect girls who take testosterone.

Who knows, it might be a really thing, but seems to be a catch-all for myriad unexplained symptoms.

Newly described diseases or syndromes often are catch alls especially where there are few or no clearly observable measurable effects. in reverse, in Achenbachs, there are clearly observable objective symptoms but no defineable cause, people who investigate it will try to hang causes on it which people who have it can refute. I am not saying that no one ever claims to have problems either physical or mental, as a deliberate attempt to deceive or as a result of a mental or emotional issue, just that its not an argument for the condition's not existing. People, including medics, used to be dubious about ME/CFS and I believe that some still are.

welshcakesandtea · 15/10/2025 18:42

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 15/10/2025 17:51

This is probably quite outing, but I sometimes wonder what type of person my birth father was to influence my birth mum and get her addicted to drugs. He was Chinese and I know the drugs like heroin were very popular with the Chinese, hence the addiction.

My birth mum had a lot of issues witt her abusive father, who was a dreadful racist about my birth father, saying he hated him etc. It's most likely what druve her to the drugs.

I don't know whether I'd say i hate my birth father as I've never met him. I just hate how he lead her astray when she was so young and vulnerable. It's definitely been the best thing she did giving me away for adoption, but I needed to tell her that I didnt like how much her drug addiction had been so damaging for me (and lead to my premature birth). I'm glad I didnt tell her before she died, as it's easier to let someone pass away in peace.

Most days I am glad to be here, alive. Occasionally I feel resentful of the course of her life, my life, my health etc.

I can relate and sympathise. I really hope you are doing okay in life and have healed from this.

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