Friend and Continued Work Absence

[GentleWord]

I have a friend who has some mental and physical health diagnoses. She qualified as a teacher more than ten years ago. She has worked in different settings - state schools, private schools, and preschools.

Since then, she has had a few jobs as a teacher, but on average, she has up to half the time she is employed off sick. This does become an issue, and mostly she has to move on.

Never quietly. It usually goes through legal channels and I know the company have settled at least twice.

Before, I didn't think much about this, but now I have reason to think about schooling, I don't think it is fair that she keeps taking jobs that she cannot do. I'm actually unsure how she manages to get a new job with her history but apparently schools have only very recently been demanding of the last reference and now you can give "bad" references.

I don't think it is fair on the children to have a teacher who is so unreliable. I don't think it is fair on the staff. I think after a decade, it should be clear to her and her family that she cannot be a teacher. However, I think they cling to her profession as a status thing.

The same pattern is occurring again where shw is started to have repeated and medium term absences from a job she started last year. I think this time I should be a bit more honest with her about her career and the other people affected by how she engages with her job.

Unreasonable - dont say anything and just support her

Reasonable - find the words to say that teaching isn't an appropriate career choice.

I agree with you OP. My kids’ school has been afflicted by these kinds of absences and it’s been very detrimental.

They manage her out. She has been sacked but most times she leaves before it gets to the final straw on their part. Then she sues for driving her out.

Because anyone with a modicum of sense and a history of schooling understands how agencies staffing works. If they don't know you'll be absent until that day, they have to call someone that day. There is no guarantee that the person they send today will be able to cover for the entirety of the teacher's absence.

You simply cannot take ip a job role that you cannot fulfil.

Nobody is obsessed. It is a thread about an issue. Feel free to be somewhere else if you don't like it.

She can afford it herself by jiggling expenses but she has private healthcare through her family anyway. The issue is that she has a personality disorder and they are hard to treat.

I think what we have discovered from this thread is that the idea that entitlement is pervasive. And I think more so among women in some contexts. I couldn't imagine these women posting so vehemently for a male poster who cannot perform his job.

What is scary is that in the quest to support women in having exactly what they want to the detriment of others, people are willing to harm the education of children, just so one adult woman doesn't think uni was a waste of time for her.

They put the feelings of adults above the rights of children.

I don’t know what’s right or wrong in terms of this person’s employment but Im wondering why you started this post. You don’t like this person or anything she stands for and it’s been clear from the start that you don’t want to support her. You’re free to break off contact with someone you have no respect for and it’s probably for the best. You mentioned in a recent response that the person has a personality disorder and I’d say that’s an important factor you didn’t mention in your original post. In any case, two thirds of voters say you’re not being unreasonable, so hopefully that provides you with the confidence you need to let her know what you think of her.

I said she has mental health issues from the start. And yes, I have decided that after this job, I will say that there should be no more teaching because it isnt fair on everyone else. I'll tell her parents that, too.

I haven’t managed to read the entire thread due to length but I think it’s a very unreasonable view. It doesn’t sound like you actually like your ‘friend’. There’s little support there for her. You seem to think she’s incapable of her job and have a superiority complex about working in retail from your comments on this too. I think you’d be best severing your friendship if it’s making you feel so disgruntled. Mental health is a huge issue amongst school staff for many factors and, at those times, what would be needed would be the support of friends and family rather than judgements. What an incredibly sad outlook from a friend. What do you entitles you to pass very critical judgement on to not only your friend, but her parents too?

people are willing to harm the education of children, just so one adult woman doesn't think uni was a waste of time for her.
They put the feelings of adults above the rights of children.

You’re acting as if all these children are suffering so greatly. It’s an issue for the school, yes, as they have to find a replacement teacher but I don’t think the children are suffering as much as you think. You’re acting as if tnese children’s education have been ruined and they are so hard done by and we should all be so concerned for the children… I’m sure they’re fine. The school will find a replacement who is just as good (if not better!) than your friend, and the children are continuing to get a fabulous education.
Would you worry so much about the welfare and education of these children if their teacher left half way through the year to go on maternity?

Why are you planning on telling her parents that she can’t teach any more? What do you think they can or should do about it? She’s a grown adult, for goodness sake.

This is a very bizarre situation and you are a very bizarre person. You seem to think you have some kind of right to tell her what to do about her work situation and you just don’t. Why do you think that?

wouldn't supply teaching suit her better?
She could work when she chose/ felt able to, get paid more per hour when she did, and have much less responsibility (for things like lesson planning, marking, the wellbeing of a whole class of learners for the length of an academic year..) than a teacher who's employed permanently by a school.
Have you ever suggested that idea to her?
It might really appeal.