Inheritance

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Inspired by a currently active thread, surely there must be some MNetters out there who haven't inherited anything from grandparents or parents? DF is still alive - I'm pretty sure DM, who passed away a couple of years ago, left everything to him, and I'm not holding out for any inheritance from DF as I feel it is safer to assume any assets could well be eaten up by care home fees or any unexpected events. I inherited nothing from any grandparents. Yes, you bet I am jealous of those who have been more fortunate than I in this area! Is it just a Mumsnet thing where people expect to, or have received, an inheritance?

This is going to sound horrible but inheritance was recently discussed in our family as my grandfathers health is slowly in decline, he is late 80's, lives on his own, in his own home, but is starting to struggle to manage. I have looked at options for him like him selling up and moving to a retirement community but its too expensive as his house isnt worth more than 180k. My mother and father are looking to emigrate soon, inspite of my grandfathers health and my sister (who lives in the same town as myself and our grandfather) doesn't have a strong relationship with him, doesnt call him or actually visit him. During covid i was his lifeline to the outside world, i cooked almost all his meals, cleaned his home (he went into the garden for me to do this) did his shopping and errands. Now 5 years on and its looking like he will be coming to live with myself, husband and our children. We don't have room right now, but my husband is looking at extending our home to make sure there is room when the time comes. My parents have no desire to look after him, neither does my sister. Its assumed i will take over his care when the time comes and he will move in with us. Now this is the kicker; my parents will get 60% of whatever he has asset wise (house, bank account, insurance ect) my sister and i will both get 20% . . . I am not asking him to contribute towards the room building as it needs to be done for him, the annoying part is that they expect me to full fund him living here and for me to absorb any and all care costs and bill increases to protect 'their' inheritance! I told him, whilst he can, he shoud treat himself to a lovely holiday and visit his other family members to create some memories and, if they are that precious about it, to fund it with whatever money was 'mine' he earnt it, he should be the one to benefit from it! Money makes people turn into horrible creatures!

It can feel unfair for those who were frugal and scrimped to buy their home, when other residents who may well have earned more during their lifetime but made different spending choices are paying a fraction of the cost.

We inherited very little, and hoped to pass something on to our family. So much will now depend on whether DH or I need residential care.

Unfortunately, it says it can't be used for proof of ID, apart from voting.

Exactly; it depends on whether you need it or not.
Lucky are those who don't, but if you do, you pay....other residents may have earned far less, perhaps working in a care home.

I’m one of the older generation too and got no inheritance. However, my children earn more than I could ever have imagined earning, and have worked their way up the property ladder themselves with no help from anyone. Not all children have been shafted by boomers. They might get an inheritance from me, they might not. But I know they aren’t expecting it.

We’re pretty similar. We are older boomers, and our DC are in a very different income bracket!

@DoAWheelieyour dentist can do it.

Dad didn't make retirement. Everything went to Mum obviously. Her parents left money to her. She declared she was keeping it for her old age.
Which is just as well as every penny is being spent on care home fees. Could be worse, we have worked hard and been lucky with our health/kids health so managed to pay off our mortgage anyway.

I’m wasn’t expecting a penny. I didn’t get anything (except funeral bills).
my dad had nothing at all and my mum had very little and that all went to my step dad. I will get everything from my step dad but that will hopefully be very little because I’m encouraging him to spend every penny and enjoy what’s left of his life.
I know elderly people that went without heating their house so they had money to leave their family, I’d be ashamed if my parents went without anything just to leave me a bit of money.

My children will have a small inheritance when I die PROVIDED it doesn't all have to go on care home fees. It's just based on our house, and life insurance, so the life insurance from whichever one of DH and me outlives the other will go to our children. It won't be masses, but there will be some. We could only buy our house due to inheritance from our parents going towards the mortgage. Every generation the inheritance will get smaller though... as it gets split between more people.

My dad had a brain tumour and and all his care was funded (top private home until we chose to look after him at home with carers 4 times a day). I dint still understand why a terminal illness is funded (not means tested) but dementia etc isn’t.

Not a penny inherited. Just worked hard and saved. Still do.

YANBU
Let's be honest, most mumsnetters (myself included) live in a (reasonably) affluent bubble.
I want whatever money my mum has to be used to make HER life as comfortable as possible. (My dad died young).
I earned my own money. I worked hard and have made my own financial safety net. It was blo*dy at times, but I did it & I'm proud of that.
I am not looking for an inheritance. I loathe folk who think they are entitled to it.
cue incoming hate in 3-2-1.....

My parents made mirror wills leaving everything to me and 2 brothers, with 3 of us equal executors. Mum died 2010. Dad died 2022. Unfortunately, younger brother got Dad to write new homemade will so was divided between 6 others as well; 9 beneficiaries with another 3 parts to younger brother for expenses and removing me as executor. Parents solicitor left shortly after dad died and new one took over. Bad to worse. Refused to acknowledge any communication from me despite various wrong-doings from brothers. Had to engage solicitor who was totally useless. Misinformed me so instead of will reverting to original homemade will stands. 3 year on and still not got the few £s I will now receive. Brothers refused to let me have anything, not even photos of me or my children, but shared a lot of chattels with the other beneficiaries. Older brother is now homeless and both will literally let their inheritance slip through their fingers. They could have bought a house between them with inheritance and had a substantial sum left. They will find that karma is biting them already.
I will be fulfilling my parents wishes to use my inheritance, such as it now is, to enjoy my life. Anything I leave behind on my demise is going to be divided equally between favourite charities and no family members will be able to challenge my will as all tied up legally. Karma.
DH and I loving life.

That’s appalling of your siblings.

My parents would probably say the same about me but their minds would be totally blown with the day to day living costs I face. My vast salary doesn’t go far after huge taxes and housing costs. I don’t think that my parents have any idea the struggle I face to keep my head above water. An inheritance would at least mean that I knew I could pay down the mortgage if made redundant and not face losing my house. The stress of this thought is making me ill.

My parents are boomers and my DB and I are so much better off financially than our parents are/were. They had very modest incomes, homes
all their lives and then really tiny private pensions (£80 per month each).

I was supposed to of inherited money when my grandad passed away. My grandmother left everything to my grandad when she passed but it was set out that when it was my grandads time to pass, funeral costs were already paid for by them and that they were buried together. Set amount was to be passed to grandchildren including me. ( 9 grandchildren in total) My toxic mother was named as main beneficiary along with one of my uncles. Mother, 2 uncles and aunt.
Sale of grandads house, joint savings of grandparents, possessions in my grandads house were sold and money was divided between them. It was set out that each grand child should have received 1.5k each, I should of inherited my grans ruby engagement ring but my mother sold it and also didn’t give myself , my one brother and my older sister our inheritance she kept it and spent it all along with the money she gained from her share.
I never found out until about 9 years ago hence why I am NC as she is the most toxic and vile person and always has been, but that was just the final straw for me to cut all ties with her. My children will not inherit from any of their grandparents but I will definitely make sure that is not the case when I die , everything will be shared equally between my three children

I won't get anything. My ex was always banging on about what inheritance he was going to get when his parents and uncles carked it, and I thought it was unpleasant, and assumed I'd be getting some from my parents too! But he's been ignoring me and our joint DS because I went through the CMS to get child maintenance, and resents paying it. Weird money obsession he's got going on.

I think it's awful how people 'expect' money to drop into their lap when their relatives pass. Maybe it's because I lost both parents suddenly in my 20s, and I would rather they were still alive now than their money ending up in mine & my sibling's bank accounts & them gone forever. An uncle left everything to me in his will because he didn't have a close relationship with his grown up kids. It was the most uncomfortable feeling and I felt like he was buying my affection, it gave me a complete ick and I stayed away from him afterwards. Thankfully he changed his will and left it all to his youngest son.

People are money mad, it's awful.

That’s the key. Make different choices. We all know the rules. DH and will be spending and drip feeding our monies away much much earlier when our DC need it and if we get to a ripe old age with little left will take our chances. I’ve been in and out of care homes all my working life and the better care is often in those you would least expect.

I could not agree more. Well said.

I think your mum Is blowing her own inheritance from her own parents and kindly sharing it with you.

Not me but my mum didn’t receive anything her dad died while he was in his 30’s and her mum was widowed with zero support (there wasn’t much to claim back then I don’t think) and 2 under 10s in the early 60’s. Her mum struggled and they lived in council housing growing up and then my nan stayed in council housing till she died. She died in her early 60’s and didn’t even have enough to cover her funeral expenses. It makes me so sad thinking about how they struggled growing up. So no she didn’t receive anything or her grandchildren. She didn’t have a lot but she gave us what she could

Well said and Well done you 👏