Inheritance

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Inspired by a currently active thread, surely there must be some MNetters out there who haven't inherited anything from grandparents or parents? DF is still alive - I'm pretty sure DM, who passed away a couple of years ago, left everything to him, and I'm not holding out for any inheritance from DF as I feel it is safer to assume any assets could well be eaten up by care home fees or any unexpected events. I inherited nothing from any grandparents. Yes, you bet I am jealous of those who have been more fortunate than I in this area! Is it just a Mumsnet thing where people expect to, or have received, an inheritance?

@plumpynoo I am very sorry for what your parents had to go through. It was disgusting then and still is. It stinks. I remember listening to post masters talking on the radio about what had happened in around 2014 way before Mr. Bates and the Post Office. Absolutely heartbreaking stories.
And still no resolve.

Get a passport

I like your way of thinking!

PIL lived like paupers. Think staying in youth hostels in their 70’s to save money, £30 to the GC for 21st birthdays, two Morrisons cheesecakes for ten people for Xmas lunch. FIL died and they have over £1m in assets. MIL is now in care so it’s dripping away at over 4k a month. There’s no better use of her assets right now, but their refusal to plan is frustrating when they have four young adult GC who could have benefitted massively as they start out in life.

Of course there’s loads of us in that position. I hardly know anyone in real life that has inherited anything significant.

My parents have both been paying for their care in nursing homes since their property was sold two years ago. They are now only a few months away from the council picking up their care bills as they are almost down to the £23,250 they are both allowed to keep. Myself and my sister were not in their Will anyway so wasn't going to get any inheritance.
My FIL recently died and did not need nursing care until the last few months so DH will inherit his property along with his sister.

If there is moral to this story, make and/or update your will! (Message to self!)

On my side of the family, my DM unexpectedly predeceased her own mother who was in a care home with dementia, her flat having been sold to pay for the insurance bond which covered her care there.

DM had a mirror will and so that all went to my DF. I think her wish was for her pension to be split with myself and two siblings but be aware that pension trustees can decide where this goes and granted that to DF, which was just as well as their financial planning was based on two pensions. She had no provision for gifts to any DC or DGM if she predeceased DF.

When my beloved GM passed, she had drawn her will up so that the share of her estate which was due to DM went to myself and siblings. My DU (DM's Dbro) was not impressed as he had had an expectation that DM would provide free care and would be sole beneficiary.

Less than a week after DM died, DF's DM died leaving a house. She died intestate and the solicitor involved split the house 50/50 (with DF's half DBro). DF's step DF also died intestate but feasibly could have left everything to DF's half sibling. In a moment of inspired generosity, DF ceded his share to myself and my siblings - and the timing of this helped all three of us exponentially which was just as well as DF, when he died 20 years later, had taken out an equity release and I am sure my DM was turning in her urn at the way he blew all the money that they had built up together (with the help of his girlfriend). The 5 GC got £5k each, although this disadvantaged my Dsis who only has one DC.

Now my FIL & MIL, despite MIL being in a care home still left DH and his DBro £186k EACH but only £500 each to the GC. They got to 92/85 but we're very cagey about their money. My DH had two breakdowns within 7 years as a result of elder care for his parents.

There’s no doubt in my mind that my father will leave everything to my brothers, and nothing to me in a final act of emotional abuse. He will probably make me executor of his will to boot. But I understand what you mean. My house is all I have to leave my children. It’s frustrating to think the govt might take that too, after a lifetime of taxing me, and paying stamp duty etc

Good God! What an absolute load of tosh

Nothing from my grandparents, they had nothing to leave and couldn't even afford their own funerals. My parents are the same.

I got nothing from my mum who didn’t even have a bank account and lived in a council house. She only had her state pension and had no savings. I had to pay for her funeral by putting it on a credit card. I also got nothing from grandparents. I envy people who do get an inheritance but it really irritates me when people expect it. It’s not their money.

I agree to a point but it does depend on the circumstances.

MIL died a couple of years ago after a short illness at 86 and left us a £350k house. A month later I received an incurable diagnosis myself. I loved her very much and was devastated to lose her. DH even more so, of course. However, she'd lived a good life, reached a decent age, and we were relieved that she was spared a miserable old age and drawn out death. And of course we were very glad of the inheritance, particularly since I'm no longer able to work more than a few hours at week and will likely be dead before I'm 50. We don't have money to throw around but it eases the pressure a bit.

On the other hand, when I die, my life insurance will make DH a millionaire. The chances are I will be young and our children still dependent. I absolutely think my family would far rather have me than the money.

Side note, I'm due to inherit in the region of £200k from my parents. If I die before them it will go to my husband. But we're well aware it could all go care so there's no expectation, and they're early 70's so we hope to have them for a good while yet!

Edit: Sorry, I somehow lost the post I was quoting but it was on the first page and saying that it's not really true that we'd all rather have the person than the money.

Omg, how entitled and grabby you sound. I actually hope you get left nothing. You don’t deserve it.

Who else was going to pay for the care home ?
Were you planning to ,if the grandchildren had the interhitance

Just to be clear I am one of the older generations and no, I got nothing for inheritance. So grabbed nothing, made most of my money buying property in the 90s and 00s, all unearned income which dwarfed the wealth generated from working. I plan to look after my kids who I recognise will not be able to have the opportunities I had to make free money from house price rises.
So not entitled, far from it. Just waiting for Rachel's axe to fall squarely on me next month, then I will have to share my kid's money with other people's kids, which I don't mind.

It wasn't the grandchildren's inheritance; your father was still alive, so it was his money.
Who do you think should have paid for his care?

We varied our parents' wills by deeds of variation to pass our shares of their estates to our DC, who need the money for property. We are already nearly 70 and we have a house. The DC will need to wait for the left overs, depending on whether we need care and for how long.

I am so, so sorry x

OMG, I really cannot start to understand how that diagnosis must make you feel.

"I absolutely think my family would far rather have me than the money."

I totally agree with this.

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you are likely mistaken on this point:

"Side note, I'm due to inherit in the region of £200k from my parents. If I die before them it will go to my husband."

Unless your parent's will specifically says that if you die before they do then everything goes to your husband then this is not correct.

Where a will contains a gift to a child then, unless the will says otherwise, if the child dies before the parent and that child (ie you) has children of their own who are still alive then those children will inherit in your place.

So, unless your parent's will specifically says that your husband will inherit instead (or anybody else, eg it might go to one of your siblings) then any inheritance from your parents will go to your children in place of you.

If your children are under the age of 18 then they cannot inherit until they are 18. The executors of the will are then responsible for keeping the gift in trust until they reach 18.

Have they said why?

My dad inherited a substantial sum from his mother. Even after 7 years of her in a top tier full service nursing home. He has been living on it for over 20 years and plans for there to be nothing left for the state to take.

He has lived at least 15 years longer than he thought but the cash is still enough to sustain a decent lifestyle. His parents were born into absolute poverty and made sure they made enough to give him everything, private education, uni, cars, a house etc. he hasn’t built on it at all, just spent it. But it’s only money.

PILS were the same, born into bad circumstances and made sure DH had a good life. Not as lavish as my dad’s but nice enough. MIL has dementia but is physically healthy so it will all go in care home fees. We’re not bothered, we want her to be comfortable.

DH’s cousin is actively trying to keep their parents out of care homes because of the cost to their inheritance. I think that attitude is pretty nasty.

Why aren't you able to get photo ID? Passport, driving licence etc?

You need photo ID. I don't know how you've got this far without it.

the council has to price intent to avoid dare home fees.

it is reasonable for a parent to leave everything to their dc. The council would face to be able to prove that the dead parent had good reason to suspect the surviving parent would require care home services and that this was the reason to leave assets to their dc.

this is typically hard to prove. The onus is on the council to prove it

I was cut out of my parents will and got nothing. Families can be very difficult sometimes.