Would this age gap bother you?

[SoManySock]

DD is 17, 18 in a couple of months. She’s in y13.
Her new boyfriend is 19 and has left school.

We don’t know him although have met him a couple of times. Keen to know more so we’ve invited him for lunch in a. Couple of weeks.

DS (20) is absolutely horrified by all this and says the age gap is too big and we should be laying down the law.

Don’t know what to think. It doesn’t seem that big a gap to me, although of course the gap between being at school and not is significant. They only see each other at weekends as live in different towns.

Am I being really slack?

I was 15 and my husband was 19, we are still together

Your son just seems like a caring older brother worried about his sister. She is lucky to have a brother like that. But the age gap is fine.

They are less than two years apart. Jeeze. Your ds is a bit much.

That’s barely an age gap. I had a 20 year old boyfriend at 17. My DD is 20 with an 18 year old boyfriend.

Good grief - it's two year. I thought you were going to say 20. What on earth is your DS problem...

I wouldn't even call that an age gap, she's almost an adult and it's probably 18 months different. I was prepared for a much bigger gap after seeing the title. At that age I usually was seeing slightly older boys, 19/20. If she were 13/14 I'd be concerned, but she's quite mature now.

My first boyfriend I was 17 and he was 19. My second (when I was 18 but still at school) he was 24. Both harmless sweeties that I ran rings round quite honestly. Their parents should have been far more worried about me than my Mum about them.

I don't think the gap is an issue but somtimes being at different life stages can be ie school vs work.
For example would he be supportive if she wanted to go away to Uni etc?

Loool and there’s me thinking this was about Catherine Zeta Zones thinking about a 12 yr old… obviously my mind is in the gutter

Ridiculous of anyone to even call it an age gap. It sounds totally normal and reasonable. When I was 16 my long term BF was 19.

Tell your son to mind his own business. Would he literally not date someone two years younger or older than himself, ever?! How's he going to feel when he sees people with twenty year age gaps! Or fancies someone much older and wants to date them?

A year??!!

I actually laughed out loud.

Of course it wouldn’t bother me.

So she's very nearly 18 and he's 19? That isn't an 'age gap'. They're two adults in their late teens. When I was in Y13 my boyfriend at the time was 21... and one of the reasons we eventually split up was that I was more mature than him.

Your son has zero right to be dictating who his sister can date or not, and you need to tell him that.

What age gap?? They’re both teenagers.

Not exacty a HUGE age gap is it?! Your DH is over reacting and understandably being porotective of his 'little girl'. Meet the guy and then make your minds up. For the record I'm 10 yrs older than my hubby...!

It sounds like the boyfriend and your son are around the same age - do they know each other? Maybe same year at school or something and your son doesn't like him? Maybe he's using the non-existent age gap as a cover for something else he might not like about him?

It's her son who has reacted negatively, not her husband.

Your elder dd is being weird. That's barely an age gap.

Tell DS to mind his own business, I was 17 when I got married and DexH was 20. There is nothing wrong with this age gap at all.

Quite aside from being a negligible age difference, laying down the law is hardly a formula that works. Inappropriate partners need to be warmly welcomed so their shit behaviour can expose itself

Absolutely this.