To have an intense dislike of this child?

[MummyOf3abc]

I know I’m probably BU but as this is an anonymous forum I feel I can be truthful! I have an intense dislike for a neighbours kid. I have not ever felt this way about anyone, but I can’t help it. I’m wondering if I’m BU (probably) or would you also get annoyed by this kids behaviour. Here is a snapshot but remember it’s just a snapshot I’ve put up for nearly 3 years with her:

shes a neighbours kid and I know the mum very little, Her child (11 years old now) always knocks on our door to play with my DD (age 10) I let them play but I find her attitude so off she will for example argue at every point with me. DD didn’t want to play with her Saturday as she had a project for school but the kid knocked twice I told her DD doing work, she came back 30 mins later, I told her again, she huffed and puffed and demanded to speak to DD! My daughter came to the door and the neighbours kid in a very authority role voice told her to leave her work and play! I told her she will find her when she’s done and shut the door. She came 10-15 mins later with another girl whom DD really likes and I like too, I said it’s fine she can take a quick break. They all went into our garden and the neighbours kid using our outside tap started throwing water on the trampoline! I told her to stop as it’s dangerous and she in her usual attitude said “well we won’t play on it then will we”. I got a little cross at this point and asked her if she throws water on her own trampoline in her garden to which she replied no as her mum wouldn’t be happy. I then asked why is it okay to do to mine then which she ignored.

this is just ONE incident I could write many more! For context my DD never calls around to hers, she will call around to other kids but not her.

I really intensely hate this kid, please advise! I don’t have the heart to tell her to do one and never come around as she’s just 11 but God I’m losing my patience

This is an interesting outlook! But what does my loathing Molly Bloody May tell me about me? 🤔

Talk to the mother, once she knows you aren’t keen on the friendship I’m sure she’ll stop her child coming over and cause a neighbourhood war

Someone has probably said it by now but the word that springs to mind is insolence.

Speak to the mother......

You need to train her. It's hard when you are used to being polite, but you need to teach her how to behave as though you were training a dog.

I had this too, and was fortunate because the Mum specifically asked me to be as direct as I liked with the kid. He turned out as a delightful adult, after a certain amount of "discussion".

Just don't answer the door to her

Just be consistent and stop negotiating! You basically said no, then agreed to her demands to see your dd at the door, then said yes and allowed a little play, then got frustrated when you should have made her leave for poor behaviour. Just state no once without negotiations and disengage, shut the door, then don’t answer the door to subsequent visits.

You can be firm and clear to this girl without being rude to her, or saying anything hurtful.

I wouldn't tell a child that she is rude, but I would tell her that it is not ok to do certain things or that she is talking in a way that is hurtful, etc. You can also say: 'If you keep doing [lousy behaviour] you need to leave'- and follow up on that.

This. The girl clearly pushes to see what she can get away with and you obviously don’t have very good boundaries. Personally if I knew she was at the door and had told her not to come back at X time, I would actually ignore the door. I think hate is a bit strong for a child and find some of your language quite concerning.

The issue lies with the fact you don’t have good boundaries. If you did, while the child might irritate you, you would not have such strong feelings. She clearly has a lot of confidence and some leadership skills in the making but needs more firmness from those around her.

OP is probably finding it shocking as she's brought her own dd up with boundaries and the rude neighbour kid whose parents can't be arsed to bring her up properly is a huge contrast to her own dd. OP will have to be firm with her, but wouldn't need to be if her own parents weren't so useless

She's basically a spoilt brat. Probably has parents who've never bothered to teach her basic social skills, so she's ended up a rude madam

OP, sorry to say, she is a child and you are the adult.

You need to grow a backbone!
It’s not ‘confrontational’ to lay out your expectations of behaviour and then ask someone to leave if they feel unable to comply.
With the water on the trampoline- ‘we don’t allow water on the trampoline, so please stop/don’t’. Then when she does/continues ‘I told you about no water in the trampoline, but you appear to have chosen to ignore me so now you have to leave. Thank you, out you go’.

Tell her that you're tired of her being so rude and demanding, such as when she threw the water on the trampoline etc and was rude, and as a result you are not going to let your daughter play with her. Then you can take the stick so your daughter doesn't get it. That should hopefully solve the problem - especially as you don't even know her mum that well

‘Annabelle, I don’t want you knocking or coming around here again because you are so rude to me.’

Then don’t answer the door to her again.

You've explained yourself why this is happening. Your dysregulation makes you people please and this child is aware.

Oh she sounds awful and you will have to be firm even if it feels very uncomfortable

Yes, exactly.