Spying neighbour?

[Treesaregreen83]

Bit of a strange one. Sorry for the super long post. Just hoping to get some perspective as not sure if I'm over reacting and been a paranoid weirdo🙈. I purchased my home 15 years ago and in terms of neighbours they're all a good bunch, that was until 6 months ago when a couple started renting the house directly behind mine. We live in town houses with smallish patio type gardens so not a great deal of privacy but there are trees blocking the view of all but this one neighbour in particular.

The new neighbours spend alot of time outside smoking cannabis. They line their deck chairs up against their house, so they are spending hours just staring up at my house. The smell is awfull thay sometimes I've had to keep my kids windows shut even in 35° heat but I've turned a blind eye for an easy life.The windows that they can see into are my kitchen, kids bedrooms and bathroom. They litterally sit, outside for hours day and night just watching, staring up and in with a joint in their hand.

On numerous occasions I've noticed one of them watching me in the garden from one of their upstairs windows. When I have that feeling I turn around and see their curtains move as if someones jumped out of the way. I do have privacy glass in the bathroom but nothing in the kids room. It made me feel quite uneasy having them looking up when my kids were in the bath but as it's been summer and it's nice to have a bit of natural light, rather than drawing the blinds I invested in an extra layer of frosted privacy film so although you can see slight silhouette there's no detail. When the dark nights draw in and I have lights on I always shut the blinds anyway. I still convinced myself at this point that I was imaging the prying eyes and just been paranoid.

Today I noticed her watching me while I was doing the dishes in the kitchen so drew the blinds. She saw me do this and it's obviously enraged her as about an hour later she pushed and hand written note through my door. She went onto say in the note that she wants to let me know that my privacy glass in the bathroom isn't even private. She says she's been looking up and can see my whole family bathing. She went onto say that she was telling me for the sake of my privacy (Like she cares about privacy). She even told me that she knows where my bath is in the bathroom. To pin point this she's obviously spent time staring through my window when it's open. Now if this was genuinely a concerned neighbour giving me the heads up that my bathroom wasnt private I would take it as a kind tip off but shes litterally made no attempt to inform me of this and shes litterally spent 6 months happily watching us, and only once I've finally blocked her view, she's written me a snappy note. To be honest I feel a bit violated, not just for me but also my young children. Shes basically just openly admitted that she has been watching us in a letter😖. I don't really know what to do from here. Should I appraoch her? Report it incase its escalates? I feel like a hermit in my own own as I'm even shutting my blinds in the daytime now.

As someone who deals with people on drugs far too often, don’t do anything to antagonise them. If they’re on drugs as much as you say they’re also likely taking stronger drugs at times too.

She sounds absolutely cooked. She might not even remember writing the note.

Do the privacy film/blinds and steer clear. It’s never worth the hassle as they aren’t sober, logical thinking people. As an example, I’ve had to bar the same individual about 10+ times from my work premises. He keeps coming in because he’s so cooked he can’t even remember being barred. He got arrested the other week for assault and breaking bail conditions. It’s just not worth the agro especially as you have kids and it’s your home.

ETA if you can find out if they're renting, try to find out who the LL or agent are and report them for antisocial behaviour which should be a breach of their tenancy agreement.

Well there is always one pathetic nutter who says report them to their landlord. People who are renting have exactly the same rights in law as people who are in debt to the bank (aka have a mortgage) and a rental lease can only be enforced by a court. So who would you report these neighbours to if they were not renting? The police? The council? Environmental health? Yeah, good luck with that one.

Enjoy your petty power trip against renters.

Most landlords are not going to bother what their tenants are doing so long as they pay the rent, dont damage the property or attract the attention of statutory bodies . I use a couple of LL forums and you want to see what they say about "whingeing neighbours". Smoking inside DOES damage the property (causes stains and smells) so the LL is not going to be bothered by what their tenants do outside it.

Sounds awful OP. Would some sort of awning over your house help?

Get a lace curtain that lets light filter through for the bathroom to add some privacy. Or apply stained glass window film. Or hang a large hanging plant in front of the window? (If if wouldn't be in the way.)

They sound wild.

No idea why people are being such dicks on this thread.

It’s their default mode.

Yes, but they are not within their rights to smoke weed in the garden which is illegal. And their neighbours could report them to the police and not just the landlord. 🤪

im sorry you are feeling uncomfortable in your own home, they are the ones with the problem not you

are your windows particularly long? Because from ground level you will only be able to see someone on the 1st floor laying in bed or in a bath if the windows are floor to ceiling. Unless your house is on a slope and downhill from them

This is what I was thinking. I really don't trust them. I don't believe that they're rational thinking people if they're dabbling in drugs. I definitely won't be adding fuel to the fire. I also failed to mention that shes got a teenage son and they sit smoking cannabis while hes home. I'm definitely going to upgrade the privacy glass.

There are some very strange people on this post. 😅If you know of a parent who doesn't give a "rats ass" that some local druggies are staring into their kids bedrooms and watching them all hours, including when they're innocently brushing their teeth before bed, then I really question the mentally of the company you keep. Just to add, I am fully aware that sometimes houses over look other houses, as mentioned in my post I've happily lived here for 15 years without a "paranoid" thought drifting through my head.

Put up one of those blinding, glaring spotlights, like a flood light & switch on when showering etc. (Lightheated joke). We have a nosey neighbour opposite that is often peering out of their window into our lounge.

How can they see the bath from below? Unless it’s raised high and on the floor how would they see that? Most odd.

Most tenancy agreements include a clause about illegal activity. Send a complaint to the letting agency about weed use, even though they smoke outside their house will still stink of it.

Use the reflective sticker thing on inside of glass, it’s similar to privacy screen on laptop

My windows are pretty long but as I mentioned earlier she's also been looking into my home from her upstairs windows which are directly opposite mine.

Don’t engage with them. Get some thin planters for along the back fence and put bamboo in. I have beautiful high bamboo now at the side fence there is no way people can see in.

I have a nosy neighbour - not staring into my house, but always watching from her window and will appear for a 'chat' every time I step into my garden. It drives me insane and stops me from using my garden. So I get why this is horrible for you. Everyone deserves privacy in their own home.

I think the privacy film is the best idea. The one where you can see out but they can't see in - so your life hopefully won't be impacted but they will stop seeing in. Then hopefully they will get bored and stop looking.

So how could she see you washing up?

From the upstairs window?

Can you put some net curtains up with the blinds? And the bathroom blinds need to be light blocking roller blinds as they completely resolve the issues

How could she see your child in the bath, unless curtains/blinds/similar are not being used?

Of course you could (and should) report this to the police. They use illegal drugs every day for hours, to the point your kids cant even play in their own garden - and if they did, they'd be second hand smokers of that stuff. It's so overpowering and nauseating. Top that with the super creepy behaviour of constantly watching and now the note - which does not sound kind and considerate at all, just creepy and confirms you arent paranoid, but that they have been watching your family indeed.
I'd have no qualms to call the police at this point (especially with a husband around), you have every right to do so. The police might also have additional info, if these creeps have past history on their system.
You can't go on living like a prisoner in your own home and no amount of privacy screens from Ebay or Amazon will ease your worries. Just report them, if they give you any grief after, document and report with 101 every single time.

There are so many things you can do to stop people looking in.

Privacy film. Venetian blinds are good because you can angle them so that people can hardly see anything from a distance but the light still gets in. Curtains and netting. You can get blinds that can be moved from the bottom up to the top, so if the windows are long you can block off the bottom half.

Security lights facing them is a good idea as they can be very bright and off putting to stare at.

And of course you can plant loads of different types of trees to grow a hedge to block out views.

We used to have textured glass in our bathroom window but I was shocked one day when I was in the garden and looked up and could see the full outline of my husband as he prepared to get in the shower. When I had the bathroom remodelled this year I had the old window replaced and opted for the obscure frosted glass which offers max privacy and it's brilliant.

I doubt your neighbour can see much if anything OP, if you have patterned glass, plus privacy film, plus blinds. I reckon she realised you'd clocked her watching and just wanted to upset you.

With regards to a halogen security light in the garden, I'd use it sparingly as they literally burn through your electric, so don't leave one on continuously. Just blast it at them when they're out there drugging and staring.

Yes just measured the windows up for the film.🤞To be honest it wouldn't bother me so much if they were just looking for a chat but they're not interested in talking, probably because they're too stoned to string a sentence together most of the time🤤😅

There is privacy glass in my bathroom which blurs detail. Blinds are used at nightine when lights are on etc but in the day time my children bath with natural light obscured by the privacy glass and film. Neighbour is stating that she can see my children through the privacy glass. She can probably see a rough silhouette, but no detail. My issue is why is she looking, and if she is writing to us to protect our modesty then why has she spent 6 months observing before doing so?