Spying neighbour?

[Treesaregreen83]

Bit of a strange one. Sorry for the super long post. Just hoping to get some perspective as not sure if I'm over reacting and been a paranoid weirdo🙈. I purchased my home 15 years ago and in terms of neighbours they're all a good bunch, that was until 6 months ago when a couple started renting the house directly behind mine. We live in town houses with smallish patio type gardens so not a great deal of privacy but there are trees blocking the view of all but this one neighbour in particular.

The new neighbours spend alot of time outside smoking cannabis. They line their deck chairs up against their house, so they are spending hours just staring up at my house. The smell is awfull thay sometimes I've had to keep my kids windows shut even in 35° heat but I've turned a blind eye for an easy life.The windows that they can see into are my kitchen, kids bedrooms and bathroom. They litterally sit, outside for hours day and night just watching, staring up and in with a joint in their hand.

On numerous occasions I've noticed one of them watching me in the garden from one of their upstairs windows. When I have that feeling I turn around and see their curtains move as if someones jumped out of the way. I do have privacy glass in the bathroom but nothing in the kids room. It made me feel quite uneasy having them looking up when my kids were in the bath but as it's been summer and it's nice to have a bit of natural light, rather than drawing the blinds I invested in an extra layer of frosted privacy film so although you can see slight silhouette there's no detail. When the dark nights draw in and I have lights on I always shut the blinds anyway. I still convinced myself at this point that I was imaging the prying eyes and just been paranoid.

Today I noticed her watching me while I was doing the dishes in the kitchen so drew the blinds. She saw me do this and it's obviously enraged her as about an hour later she pushed and hand written note through my door. She went onto say in the note that she wants to let me know that my privacy glass in the bathroom isn't even private. She says she's been looking up and can see my whole family bathing. She went onto say that she was telling me for the sake of my privacy (Like she cares about privacy). She even told me that she knows where my bath is in the bathroom. To pin point this she's obviously spent time staring through my window when it's open. Now if this was genuinely a concerned neighbour giving me the heads up that my bathroom wasnt private I would take it as a kind tip off but shes litterally made no attempt to inform me of this and shes litterally spent 6 months happily watching us, and only once I've finally blocked her view, she's written me a snappy note. To be honest I feel a bit violated, not just for me but also my young children. Shes basically just openly admitted that she has been watching us in a letter😖. I don't really know what to do from here. Should I appraoch her? Report it incase its escalates? I feel like a hermit in my own own as I'm even shutting my blinds in the daytime now.

I would think if she wanted to be spying on you she wouldn’t drop round a note alerting you to it?

Sounds to me like she zones out, looks in the general direction of the house, and over time on occasion has noticed this. If I noticed I could see into my neighbours bathroom from my garden I’d probably give them a heads up so they could put up a better privacy screen too.

I think I'd ask them to turn their chairs to face their own back windows.

I agree it all seems off and very confusing but as I mentioned earlier if she was giving me the heads up then why wait 6 months and then do it AFTER I've put extra provisions in place?

I saw a genius thing recently where someone had mounted blinds on the window sill and put little hooks half way so she could pull them up from the bottom. It meant light could still come in from the top half of the window.

I guess she also had hooks at the top for when she wanted them fully closed.

This is so true! I wish I could control where they put their deck chairs🤣. Sadly I can't but if my bathroom was offending her so much that she felt the need to write about it then she could always look away!

Because maybe a) she didn’t see your naked bodies before and b) your new provisions aren’t any good?

I really don’t think someone with nefarious intentions would put them in writing, but maybe I’m wrong.

Thats creepy to. Id get some advise. The fact shes put a letter through your door. You could phone 101 see what they say.

Oh thays good to know! The mirrored ones I was looking at had to be applied on the outside. I'll definitely check these out. The night time situation is fine as I always put down the blinds if bathing/showering.

You can't see naked bodies now🤣 and beleive it not there are some strange people who walk amongst us. I certainly aren't going to trust the intentions of a drugged up oddball who's currently staking us out in our own home!

i got some window cover film on amazon live in a flat could see in my window when walking past so bought some and even with 1 layer on you cant see in day or night well unless you press your face right up against the window

This was my exact thought. The moment she knew she'd been clocked with me drawing blinds and putting privacy film up maybe she panicked and tried to leave a bit of a paper trail that works in her favour. Who knows! Maybe I'm overthinking! My bathroom is quite tiny so we are litterally standing next to the window when we're using the sink etc so she can easily see us from ground level and even better from one of her upstairs windows. She's even mentioned in the letter how well she can see into the bathroom at night time when the lights on which freaked me out as the only time we've not got our blinds closed is if the children had gone in there to brush there teeth before bed. So she's basically watching my kids getting ready for bed🫣

How are they able to afford the rent if they’re spending all their time with a spliff?

And if they are smoking that stuff all the time, and they’re young, they’ll be completely mental, one drag away from full blown psychosis. The fact they’re concentrating on what’s going on inside your house suggests they’re a bit paranoid anyway.

Get the reflective stuff, continue to steer clear.

If you wanted to be a bit nefarious, wang a camera up that’s pointing in their direction. Or get a lifesized cardboard outline of a policeofficer and rig it up like on Home Alone. Perhaps that would force them inside their own property.

Either way, they’ll likely move on soon.

It goes on the inside surely?

Wow, that’s weird.
Post her note on the local FB page and “naively” claim it’s been delivered to the wrong address
or
use a loud garden blower (worked for us with inconsiderate NDNs who were “entertaining”),
heavy handedly throw footballs into their space and their deck chairs and claim you were merely returning them,
sign them up for shedloads of junk mail (someone I know did this to her awful NDN),
collect large amounts of nettle leaves, stuff them into cleaned plastic milk bottles and top up with water, screw up the tops, leave outside to ferment for a few months then use water blasters to direct the concentrated liquid, a well know garden fertiliser when diluted, at their deck chairs - the stench is like concentrated cow muck,
have a super strong PIR security light which illuminates their garden and blinds them.
You need to reduce the desirability of their present property rather than be a barricaded hostage making every attempt at privacy.
Don’t solve the problem.
Remove it.
Best of luck!
I’m going to NC after this…😂

Maybe she was too embarrassed? Maybe she thought what’s wrong with them? Surely they must be aware you can see straight in? Perhaps close your blind in the daytime when your bathing too. Honestly, at the back of mine I can see everything through their bathroom windows and they seem oblivious. I don’t really want to go round there and tell them. I’m not sat there gawping. I’m sat there thinking Jesus Christ love put it away!

I have reverse blinds in my bathroom. They pull up from the windowsill, rather than down from top of window - so can have both privacy and lots of light.

Perhaps it's as simple as they have been there for 6 months and now as the nights are drawing in it has become more obvious. It's slightly embarrassing for them and she's just giving you a heads up.

If that's their garden, that's what they know since they moved in.

I used to live in a row of terraces, there were many windows overlooking my bedroom and the garden. I never once worried about it because that was the way it was.

There's some weird mentality where people believe they are the centre of the universe and people must be actively watching, talking, whatever about them.

But in the main people don't give a rat's arse and just get on with their own lives oblivious to others. Sounds like a typically paranoid parent that has watched too much TV to think that people are actively watching their kids being tucked in for storytime.

Get some tilting blinds and have a picture of a large dog turd put on the other side so that's all they can see when they look towards your house. 😁

As I've mentioned in many previous replys, you can not see a full frontal nude display of anyone in the bath while in my bathroom. There is privacy glass and an extra layer of frosted privacy film. I have been in my garden and looked up when my partner is bathing and the most I can see is a silhouette. If she's offended by a a skin coloured silhouette then all she needs to do is look away- and dont tell me for one minute that someone who brazenly sits in her deck chair, getting off her tits all day has morals, to the point where she feels the need to save the her neighbours modesty. I once had a neighbour who woke up and gave us a full frontal topless shot everymorning. I just stopped looking and turned away. Problem solved. I didn't go following her and her kids about the house, from room to room like some pervert!

Get a very bright security light on the back of your property/fence and just turn it on so it's shining directly at them. Leave it on continuously for a week or two. I think they'll find that being almost blinded will cure them of the need to stare at your house.
I would also contact the police, they're doing drugs and saying that they watched your children bathe etc. A visit from the police might straighten things out.

Not a bad idea. Im definitely going to monitor the situation and if anything more happens in terms of her watching the kids I'll be sure to report it. I have made my kids aware. I felt really sorry for my10 year old son tonight. He was lying on his bed reading a book in his boxers and I explained that he needs to make sure the blinds are down if he's in his underwear. He said but mum it's not even dark yet😔. It's awful that they have to hide I their own bedroom.

@Treesaregreen83 I’d have to reply and say something like ‘thanks for the note, but if you can see so much I’m surprised you didn’t let me know sooner, as I had no idea.’

They sound very odd. I’d have been panicking that every time I sat out, you’d think I was spying and I’d have immediately been round to say “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to look, but I can see a lot even though I’m desperately trying not to” or something 🫣

I'd go and speak to the police about this behaviour. Show them the note, tell them they've been watching you all, including your children, constantly since they moved in. How uncomfortable you feel, and when you've tried to give yourselves privacy, you get that note. Make sure you tell them about their excessive drug use.

If they are not interested, log their daily drug use and once you have a few weeks worth of logs, send it into the Environmental Health department as it's antisocial behaviour.

No idea why people are being such dicks on this thread.

I had a neighbour who complained to me when I let my bushes out the front grow enough to block her vision into my living room.

ETA if you can find out if they're renting, try to find out who the LL or agent are and report them for antisocial behaviour which should be a breach of their tenancy agreement.

I’d be creeped out too OP. I’d give a report into the police it’s a safeguarding concern to be honest. Maybe some cameras too and visible ones so they know they wil be recorded if being inappropriate. We have a couple of pet cameras they’re only around £20.

I wouldn't stir up these semi-crazy drugged up neighbours. They are not rational people. Honestly, do not put a light shining at their property and do not reply to their note or call the police. I have a film on a couple of windows which looks like etched glass but you'd be hard pressed to see anything through from a distance. And it does let a certain amount of light through. We got that after my child saw more than they bargained for when they innocently glanced out their bedroom window. We never mentioned it to the neighbours and just put film on the lower panes of his window.