What do you set your heating at?

[amibeingaknob]

Please settle an argument with me and my mother.

What do you set your heating at? Is it different in the day and the night?

Just trying to gauge what the 'norm' is here. We are South East (not that that makes any difference - temp is temp).

For me - 20 in the day, 17 at night. My boyfriend (who lives with me) is 22 day, 19 night so its gone up - I wouldn't want him feeling the cold.

My mother thinks a house that is 14 is perfectly reasonable, and not on at all at night. She rarely puts in on. This worries me desperately as father has had pneumonia and they are in their mid 70s. She is convinced I, and 'my generation' are wussies, and heating is bad for you, and they are normal and I 'feel the cold more than most'.

I guess I want to prove to her that that last line is inaccurate, and she puts her bloody heating on this winter, as I am super anxious about their health (particularly my dad). On a selfish note, I loathe going round there as I sit shivering, whilst being given a blanket and told 'oh dear, you do feel the cold don't you'. Like Im some sort of alien. The offer of heating is never there, and when it is put on, it is with much complaint, and mum performance huffing and fanning of brow. Ugh. Drives me nuts.

I agree.

I think how she treated me yesterday was appalling tbh. I was cold, and told I was being ridiculous. No offer to put the heating on. She even felt my hands and said, 'oh goodness they are like blocks of ice - you do feel the cold don't you!'. You mean Im human???

Anyway, I decided Im going to say im not visiting because its too cold, and I think she is putting dads health at risk. And I really don't want to hear about the subsequent flus/pneumonia/illnesses they will inevitably get.

Might sound harsh, but Im pretty cross right now.

18.5 during the day, and off at night, but it doesn’t tend to drop below 14 even on cold nights.

My parents (80s) have theirs much warmer now than we did growing up, I reckon it’s about 22 during the day- you need it to be warmer when you are older, I think. They have it about 17 overnight.

I and all my friends have been through the process of elderly parents making poor decisions. At some point the child becomes the parent.
In fact I'm 67 and DH is 75 so we're approaching elderly parent age ourselves now.
Heating currently on at 22⁰.

14⁰ is flipping cold. I have no problem with heating being off overnight though unless it's sub zero outside then it needs to be on all the time.

How do you persuade them. Is your dad onboard with being cold or is your mum driving it?
I know you said it's not the cost but would they behave differently if it was free? That's an extreme argument?

Ours is on 18 or 19 in the evenings, when we are likely to be sitting, and for an hour in the morning when we get up.
It only comes on in the day if temp drops below 14
It would only come on in the night if below about 7 I think it is.

You don't need heating on when you are asleep under your quilt.

You seem to be forgetting that we (all of us) are comfortable at different temperatures, but mostly it will be at temperatures we are used to. If they've never had the heating on high, that's what they are used to and where their bodies are comfortable.

My friend's Mum is 95 and refuses to have central heating in her house. She's fine with the gas fire in the living room and that's about it. Not for me, but it doesn't seem to be doing her any harm.

19 ish for an hour in the morning and a couple of hours in the evening. 12 overnight which clicks in when it's really cold. When the weather drops I have it set for 15 for an hour before we get home from work and before we get up, then doesn't take as long to heat up to 19 when we do get home.

Me and DH sleep with window open a crack unless it's really windy or raining. He has severe asthma. The condensation/moisture produced by 2 sleeping adults seems to aggravate his breathing more than the low temperature.

Dad literally goes along with whatever mum says about everything. If Mum suddenly wanted it hot he would say he would to. Thats just how they are. So he will always say hes fine. Which is immensely frustrating.

Older boiler here so timer clicks for coldest parts of day. Sore point as house we recently moved from had a brand new CHS! Xx

Are you worried your dad is unable to advocate for himself @amibeingaknob?

My parents have the most mismatched comfortable temperatures. It's probably the biggest source of arguments in their house. However both are equally as capable of using the heating and being vocal about it, with the phrase "your mother/father is trying to kill me", commonplace.

They are adults and I've learnt to stay well out of it. The hard way.🙈

What about a heated blanket or a heated cardigan (usb chargeable) for your dad? So your mum can have the house cold and dad be warm?
im saying this with my heating at 19 but sitting at my desk wrapped in a heated blanket and a hot water bottle on my feet! Oh the glamour!!!
heating goes 21 between 9pm and 11pm and then back doen to 19. Theres always someone around at home

On all the time at 18. If I feel a bit of cold will crank it up to 20 to kick start the heating on and blast some warmth into room but then back down to 18.

Oh I wish!!!! Dad just agrees with everything mum says and pretends its his opinion. Mum cannot see this. We all can of course - it just so happens he agrees with everything she has ever said for the past 60 years lol! And shes never been wrong.

So yeah, if I bring this up he gets even more annoyed than her and sees it as defending her, as she acts all upset. So he can advocate for himself, he just won't because he wouldn't want to upset her and he just will support her viewpoint no matter what.

18 and don’t change it to have a consistent temp in the house. Heating only comes in when needed and keeps chill off

National guidelines for people over 65 and those with respiratory illnesses is 18degrees C day and night. Comprehensive literature review here: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5c5986f8ed915d045f3778a9/Min_temp_threshold_for_homes_in_winter.pdf

20 during the day but it's never on at night when we're in bed.

Sounds like my dad; every time I go around his house I turn the heating up which is set at 12 degrees!
Thing is he is nearly 90, so clearly so old people have got use to the cold.

Interestingly if I dared to turn the heating up they would totally flip out. If my brother does (which he always does in winter), they just mumble a bit and thats it. Pisses me off.

22 or 23 when I'm in, but off at night. Why would you want heating at night? You're under a duvet.

To those who don’t have heating on at night even when it’s very cold - yes you are warm under the duvet, but you’re breathing in cold, damp air.

I can't sleep with the heating on at night. I get headaches in the night, and wake up with a sore throat, feeling sick and unwell.

It would take a high temperature to do that. You could set it at 16.

Oh, I didn't realise you knew my body better than I do 🙄

Hence my name!

22 during the day. Off at night unless very cold outside then 17. 14 is far too low.

So yeah, if I bring this up he gets even more annoyed than her and sees it as defending her, as she acts all upset. So he can advocate for himself, he just won't because he wouldn't want to upset her and he just will support her viewpoint no matter what.

I hear you @amibeingaknob. It was that stuff that made me butt out. Nowadays I will only comment on the temperature if it is uncomfortable for me.

Your parents have been doing their relationship their way from before you were born. Leave them to it.

Mines set at 16 from 6am to 7pm I will turn it up when we get home from work/school when needed. Never have it on over night