What do you set your heating at?

[amibeingaknob]

Please settle an argument with me and my mother.

What do you set your heating at? Is it different in the day and the night?

Just trying to gauge what the 'norm' is here. We are South East (not that that makes any difference - temp is temp).

For me - 20 in the day, 17 at night. My boyfriend (who lives with me) is 22 day, 19 night so its gone up - I wouldn't want him feeling the cold.

My mother thinks a house that is 14 is perfectly reasonable, and not on at all at night. She rarely puts in on. This worries me desperately as father has had pneumonia and they are in their mid 70s. She is convinced I, and 'my generation' are wussies, and heating is bad for you, and they are normal and I 'feel the cold more than most'.

I guess I want to prove to her that that last line is inaccurate, and she puts her bloody heating on this winter, as I am super anxious about their health (particularly my dad). On a selfish note, I loathe going round there as I sit shivering, whilst being given a blanket and told 'oh dear, you do feel the cold don't you'. Like Im some sort of alien. The offer of heating is never there, and when it is put on, it is with much complaint, and mum performance huffing and fanning of brow. Ugh. Drives me nuts.

Ours is about 18 during the day, and 15 at night (which means it very very rarely comes on at night). It’s 19.5 for a couple of hours in the morning when we’re getting up, and for a few hours in the evening too.

In reality with the heating in winter going off at eg 10.30pm, it takes quite a few hours to drop back down as the house is well insulated.

So far this year I’ve noticed it popping on for maybe an hour in the morning if it’s been cold overnight. But the house is a terrace and well insulated so it’s not kicked in much more than that yet this year.

Mine is 22. . haven't needed it daytime yet but have put it on at night a few times

We only have fairly basic controls on our heating. It’s set at either 22 or 23 degrees irrespective of time of day. I’m often still chilly in the evenings, and the house gets cold after midnight. In the colder months I often have a convector heater in the living room when I’m working during the day and late at night. The heating is set to be on between6-10 am, midday-2pm, and then 4-11 pm. If the temperature is forecast to drop below about -3, then we leave it on overnight at about 16 degrees to protect the pipes from freezing.

My husband is 71 and I’m 67, and we live in London.

20 - 22 during the day. 18 at bedtime.

Yes on the coast. Their thermostat said 14 yesterday morning.

I sent them links from Age Concern, NHS, links about pneumonia etc. They got very angry and said it was nonsense and they know what they are doing. I offered to get that thermometer but, again, they dispute the advised temp.

I can't really do anything can I?

The only thing I can do is not go round there when its cold. I don't see why I should be subjected to it.

19 during the day ( morning and evening for about 5 hours total). Never on overnight, even in the depths of winter.

Mines set to come on when it drops to 17, it’s on from 6am until 10pm and controlled by the thermostat. If I feel cold it goes up a bit to 18 or 19.

My mother has her house at a steady 24/25.

Personally I would not be going to your mums house it’s to cold for me

I don’t believe our thermostat- 22 degrees in one area feels very different to 22deg in another.
But the heating is off overnight even in the winter.

Your Mum is riskjng your Dad's health and your boyfriend is a big wuss.

We have 18 in the day and off at night. Will I get cold as I prefer it at 19 but dh doesn't I either use an electric blanket, put on more layers or do some house work.

Not really no.

I worry about stuff I can do things about.

Either you believe they are capable of looking after themselves, in which case you leave them alone to get on with it. Or you don't in which case you have to get the authorities involved.

I'm pretty sure you would be unhappy if they marched into your house and insisted the heating should be turned down.

We used to have ours on 14C most of the time and then 18C for an hour in the morning and a few hours in the evening (gas boiler).

Now have an air source heat pump and at the moment it is 19.5 round the clock. It has barely run yet, since turning it on this month, but keep nudging it down slowly, as we have been too hot at times. Energy bills have been so much lower with that and the house constantly toasty (really noticed the difference in Dec-Feb).

I do think they are capable of looking after themselves usually - except for this issue. And I think its a biggie. No way authorities would get involved in this (Im a social worker).

I would be unhappy if they insisted my heating should be turned down, because mine is healthy. If it wasn't I would expect them to reason with me, and if they were sending me links and articles saying what I was doing was dangerous to my health I would listen. I think mum is being very selfish and stubborn tbh - and a bit thick. She is usually very measured and intelligent. And dad just agrees with whatever mum says.

Essentially though, I do agree with you. I can't do anything about it. Won't stop me worrying, but I wish it would. I have zero power in this.

19.5 day
10 overnight which is a frost setting.

It’s come on overnight maybe half a dozen times in the 25 years we have lived in this house. The coldest it’s ever been outside was minus 17, it came on then. I’m 59 and did not live in a house with central heating till I was in my late twenties. I do think you get a bit more used to it if raised like that.

On at 18 degrees 16.30-22.00, off other times. If I'm cold I will put it on for a bit. I like to air the house out a lot so it doesn't smell of our food, and also like not having huge bills.

Mine too. It’s not on at night unless the frost protection kicks in.

Not on at all at night.

18 in the day, although I think about 20 would be ideal but we only have electric radiators and if I were to set them at 20 they would stay on full blast constantly as the heat just doesn't stay. 18 warms the room enough and means they're not on full constantly.

I'd be really angry if you sent me a load of links like this too.
They are allowed to make their own decisions. It isn't up to you.
Society patronises and infantilises older people and you're adding to it. Maybe put an extra jumper on when you go and visit.

I don't think it's patronising, people genuinely might not know that living in constant low temperatures/cold air can actually impact health, even with jumpers etc on.

I didn't know until I had a baby.

It comes on an hour before I get up and goes off as I go to bed. I keep it on about 23 degrees. If it is very cold I might run it for a couple more hours after bedtime, but usually the house stays quite warm. I am a chilly person.

So if my dad dies this year from pneumonia and they have both gone on and on about how ill he was/is, how worried they are, YET their house is icey cold on every visit in winter, and I know they sleep with windows open too, then I should shut my mouth? If he dies and I said nothing I hold no responsibility in that? I dont want to be catasphrosing but that is a very real possibility. Would you not say that if your daughter had a baby and the house was freezing??

Old people and young people need more warmth. People with recurrent pneumonia and weak lungs need more warmth. These are facts. Nothing patronising about it. What is patronising, i feel, is to be told by my mother than I am the weird one/the wussy for being cold in her house. When I visit I am in very warm clothes and I keep my coat on the entire visit. I am still bloody freezing. Its literally warmer outside tbh. I would never treat a guest that way.

I am an " old person" and no, I don't want to be told how to live my life by my children. Just as I didn't send my daughters a load of leaflets when they had their children ( to use your example).
We are all grown ups. We get to make our own decisions.

You haven't mentioned money yet. If you're so worried, have you offered to take over their utility bills?

Its nothing to do with money. They are loaded.

Mum says its because heating makes her ill and its generational and the guidelines are nonsense.

The last few years when ours has been on it’s been on at 19 degrees from 5-8pm. Like I said on another thread though our house does hold the heat quite well and we sometimes pop it on for another hour if it’s feeling chilly. I’m rushing around so much in the mornings that although it sometimes feels cold to get out of bed, once I’m up I don’t feel like we need heating on.

Ok, so Im interested. Given my mother likes to regularly tell me how worried she is about my dad and this year given how ill he was last year and subsequent years, I should just nod along?

Im not going to. Ive actually said that Ive said my bit about the heating, they've chosen to ignore, but I don't want to hear about how worried she is. I think that is fair.

Like an asthmatic family member who is getting severely ill expressing worry only for them to keep smoking.

I appreciate I probably sound impatient and angry and frustrated. Cos I am.

All so preventable.

Last year he was recovering from pneumonia for over 6 weeks in a bedroom with no heating and windows open. Yes he's a grown up but hes my dad!