What do you set your heating at?

[amibeingaknob]

Please settle an argument with me and my mother.

What do you set your heating at? Is it different in the day and the night?

Just trying to gauge what the 'norm' is here. We are South East (not that that makes any difference - temp is temp).

For me - 20 in the day, 17 at night. My boyfriend (who lives with me) is 22 day, 19 night so its gone up - I wouldn't want him feeling the cold.

My mother thinks a house that is 14 is perfectly reasonable, and not on at all at night. She rarely puts in on. This worries me desperately as father has had pneumonia and they are in their mid 70s. She is convinced I, and 'my generation' are wussies, and heating is bad for you, and they are normal and I 'feel the cold more than most'.

I guess I want to prove to her that that last line is inaccurate, and she puts her bloody heating on this winter, as I am super anxious about their health (particularly my dad). On a selfish note, I loathe going round there as I sit shivering, whilst being given a blanket and told 'oh dear, you do feel the cold don't you'. Like Im some sort of alien. The offer of heating is never there, and when it is put on, it is with much complaint, and mum performance huffing and fanning of brow. Ugh. Drives me nuts.

18/19 during the day, off completely overnight (well, I think it’s set to come on if it goes below 7 degrees, but it never has)

I think that's an extremely fair assessment. Your mum's happy. Leave them be.

Ive not put my heating on yet either and thermostat says 18 in my living room...Im in a terrace and my house doesnt get too cold...I am feeling chilly in the evenings so i get under my heated throw.

But he recovered.
I'm also a huge fan of open windows unless the rain is actually blowing in.

If you don't think your parents are capable of caring for themselves and living independently then you need to speak to social services.

You also believe that the temp guidelines for the elderly especially with lung issues is wrong? Can you elaborate? Im not being difficult I genuinely want to understand how someone could see this as reasonable.

And yes my mum is very happy. Thats not my concern. My concern is my dads health. My mums happiness does not trump that.

Have give so basically it’s on all the time. Set at 20 during the day downstairs and off upstairs and then off downstairs during the night and comes on an hour before we get up. Unless during the baby getting up phase then whole house is 20 24/7. Upstairs overnight is 19.

We actually use less heat than the traditional on for 3hours in the morning and at night.

Had relatives like yours and visiting them was horrible. Had to take clothes to wear. Just leave them to it and tell them you won’t visit .

I do open all the windows for10mins each day to zap the house and then put the heating on

18 during the day and 15 at night

It's left on 17 always. I don't understand why you'd need to turn it up for night time in bed?! Surely the duvet and fleece pyjamas make you feel warm enough?

I'm not necessarily disputing the temp guidelines. But they are guidelines.

Your parents are happier at a lower temperature.

Your dad seems to have recovered from his pneumonia.
You seem determined to undermine their autonomy, for reasons you think fit, but they do not. They seem to have capacity.

I think you are in danger of alienating them if you persist.

I can understand why you’re so worried, OP. I would be too.

Heating at 19 for a couple of hours in the morning and evening at the moment. When it gets colder, heating is on all day (with radiators off upstairs during the day) as we all work from home. On at 20/20.5 when it’s really cold. Off overnight.

16 -18 during the day, off overnight, although it kicks in automatically at 6.

Your mum is putting your dads health at risk. Not much you can do except not visit and tell her why. I am 67 and dh is 71. Ours is on now because we felt cold and the thermostat said 18 but it felt colder. We don't really go by temperatures just how we feel.
We don't have it on at night but whoever gets up first puts it on. With health issues I would leave it on.

Yep, did my bit of being cold with a house with no heating apart from a coal fire in one room, no double glazing and frost on the insides of the windows in winter. I don't understand older people who don't rejoice in being able to be warm these days.

Never on at night, not needed with a winter duvet. On for short bursts during the day, 10 to 15 mins, and it stays warm for ages once turned off. In mid winter might set it for 20 during the day and have it on more often, still off at night.

18.5 during the day and 17.5 during the night.

And the chilblains on the legs ! I wonder if anyone still gets them?

Ours is set at 18/19 all the time , though it rarely clicks on overnight . My parents were similar , my DF did die of pneumonia in the end though he was 83

@GAJLY here we have it in because despite lots of layers and the bodies being warm dh and dc2”s asthma means breathing the cold air in means trouble. Can’t have go down too low. That’s just one example.

Off overnight, during the day it’s only out on if we’re really struggling with the cold, and even then it’s just a quick boost to take the chill off and then switched off again. We can’t afford to have it on.

Ive got no idea what the temperature of the house is though, we just go off how it feels

We are 18 if we are in during the day or morning/evening. Off at night though we used a small oil filled radiator in kids’ rooms when they were little overnight if it was really cold. 22 would be way too hot for me. But 14 is definitely too low.

The minimum workplace temperature, by law, is 16C. But people in employment will not usually be in their 70s. So 14 really is not warm enough for your parents.

My partner has it on 23 in the day, 16.5 at night.
If I'm in on my own, I wouldn't even think of putting it up in the day.
Guess who moves around the most.

Its just always set to 19°C during waking hours and 15°C overnight. It never feels cold. If it did I'd light the fire.