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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird encounter at the club

67 replies

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 05:43

Little silly story but I like to always know the reasonings behind things

So me and my girlfriends went out to the club last night, we ended up at this one spot, she bumped into a guy she knew. This guy was with a group of others guys and he introduced us all. There was this one guy I’m going to call him guy A who was staring at me yet didn’t make a move.

Guy B was in the group as well, he tried to talk to my friend first and she curves him. He then started talking to me about random things and we clicked, he offered to buy me a drink and we exchanged socials. I was skeptical because I didn’t want to be a second option he told me he only talked to my friend first because I seemed uninterested, so he talks to people that talk to him. Okay understandable I brushed it off. Guy A had another friend come and apparoch me to ask for my number because he was to scared? Keep in mind they’re all in the same friend group ??

make along story short we all ended up going back to guys B house because he had a bar there. He takes me to his room while everyone is out front. We spend like a hour chatting he kept asking me where I’ve been all this time, how he’s never met anyone like me. You know most likely telling me what I want to hear…. He then asked me on a date, I told him that I would think about it, he asked why I had to think about it and why I couldn’t just give him an answer. He started kissing my neck, I jokingly told him no kisses and we headed back to where everyone is.

Guy A looked pissed and kept locking eyes with me once I came out. Me and my girls ended up leaving and I woke up to Guy b unfollowing me on social media? While all his other friends still kept me as a friend on social media ? Did he just want to hook up?

OP posts:
AphroditesSeashell · 13/10/2025 05:52

Yes, he just wanted to hook up and probably has a girlfriend or wife hence the immediate unfollowing.

I see no relevance in you mentioning A other than to let us know you were much in demand that evening.

If you're unsure if you'd want to go on a date with someone, it's inadvisable to spend an hour alone together in their bedroom, as it gives some mixed signals, which others in the room may be judging you both for, particularly if he's potentially in a relationship. Did you ask him if he was single?

Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 13/10/2025 05:56

Why mention guy a when he has no part in the story whatsoever

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 05:58

Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 13/10/2025 05:56

Why mention guy a when he has no part in the story whatsoever

He does. We talked for like 20 minutes, I mentioned him because he was also interested in me yet had someone else come up to me and tell me. Plus I guess they are all friends and he also was at the house with us.

OP posts:
Karlaken · 13/10/2025 05:59

AphroditesSeashell · 13/10/2025 05:52

Yes, he just wanted to hook up and probably has a girlfriend or wife hence the immediate unfollowing.

I see no relevance in you mentioning A other than to let us know you were much in demand that evening.

If you're unsure if you'd want to go on a date with someone, it's inadvisable to spend an hour alone together in their bedroom, as it gives some mixed signals, which others in the room may be judging you both for, particularly if he's potentially in a relationship. Did you ask him if he was single?

He told me he’s been single for a year ?

OP posts:
PollyBell · 13/10/2025 05:59

How would e know what his intentions are regardless of MN thinks 100% of men do not think the same

maybe when you all finish school and have more experience it might be easier to tell but just move on

pinkdelight · 13/10/2025 06:00

it doesn’t seem so weird. Guy A thought you got with Guy B so course he wasn’t delighted. Guy B got knocked back so has backed off. Maybe he would’ve cut contact anyway even if he’d got what he wanted. They’re just guys you met in a club who briefly thought they had a chance with you. Neither did so end of story. You don’t sound like you were that into either of them nor that they were that into you really. It was just a night out, don’t overthink any of it.

3luckystars · 13/10/2025 06:02

Not really that weird though, that sounds
like every night out. Men want a ride. 😁

Robertplantgoddess · 13/10/2025 06:03

pinkdelight · 13/10/2025 06:00

it doesn’t seem so weird. Guy A thought you got with Guy B so course he wasn’t delighted. Guy B got knocked back so has backed off. Maybe he would’ve cut contact anyway even if he’d got what he wanted. They’re just guys you met in a club who briefly thought they had a chance with you. Neither did so end of story. You don’t sound like you were that into either of them nor that they were that into you really. It was just a night out, don’t overthink any of it.

Absolutely agree.
Just because they were all out together doesn't mean guy a is a particularly good mate of guy b. Guy b might have history of this so guy a never bothers as he saw you were with guy b alone for an hour which would probably suggest to others you were more interested in guy b than guy a.

CheeseWisely · 13/10/2025 06:07

None of that story counts as a ‘weird encounter’. I don’t know what Guy A has to do with anything. Guy B clearly wanted to get laid and when he didn’t he’s cut his losses and moved on. It happens. It’s (some) Men.

Wainscot · 13/10/2025 06:12

Which bit of this strikes you as ‘weird’?

RawBloomers · 13/10/2025 06:27

With this and your other thread, OP, it sounds like you might struggle a bit with ambiguity and unspoken communication when it comes to hooking up.

Neither of your threads are about situations most people would have all that much difficulty handling. In the end, we often don't know exactly what people are thinking and we need to just decide if the situation works for us and not give the mixed signals of people we barely know headspace.

Does hooking up maybe make you a bit anxious?

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 06:30

RawBloomers · 13/10/2025 06:27

With this and your other thread, OP, it sounds like you might struggle a bit with ambiguity and unspoken communication when it comes to hooking up.

Neither of your threads are about situations most people would have all that much difficulty handling. In the end, we often don't know exactly what people are thinking and we need to just decide if the situation works for us and not give the mixed signals of people we barely know headspace.

Does hooking up maybe make you a bit anxious?

I never hooked up with this man ? Why do you think I struggle with things like this ? I feel like it’s out boredom

OP posts:
Wainscot · 13/10/2025 06:43

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 06:30

I never hooked up with this man ? Why do you think I struggle with things like this ? I feel like it’s out boredom

I’ve just commented on your other thread. You seem hyper-focused on what the other person might be thinking, and not to be giving any thought to what you want. Did you like either Guy A or Guy B?

PinkFrogss · 13/10/2025 06:53

You said you had to “think about” going in a date with guy B, he probably took that to mean a no.

The only weird thing is him randomly kissing your neck.

How old are you OP? You sound very young.

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 06:55

Wainscot · 13/10/2025 06:43

I’ve just commented on your other thread. You seem hyper-focused on what the other person might be thinking, and not to be giving any thought to what you want. Did you like either Guy A or Guy B?

I kinda liked them but I also was drunk ? So I think I’m so bored and craving intimacy and wanting to be wanted that I settle. I think if I would have got with one of them it would have been me settling. To answer your question I want a relationship. I’m 25 and feel like I’m running out of time due to me never being in a committed relationship. I’ve just always had men list after my looks, yet nothing has ever turned serious with any man I’ve been with

OP posts:
CherrieTomaties · 13/10/2025 06:56

Is your ego hurt that this random stranger (because yes he’s a stranger) has already unfollowed you on social media?

How old are you all btw? Because this sounds like the type of stuff me and my uni friends would discuss when we were 18/19yo students.

PinkFrogss · 13/10/2025 06:59

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 06:55

I kinda liked them but I also was drunk ? So I think I’m so bored and craving intimacy and wanting to be wanted that I settle. I think if I would have got with one of them it would have been me settling. To answer your question I want a relationship. I’m 25 and feel like I’m running out of time due to me never being in a committed relationship. I’ve just always had men list after my looks, yet nothing has ever turned serious with any man I’ve been with

You’re looking for men in the wrong places, and putting too much emphasis on your looks (you put a lot of information in your post about guy A when he’s not relevant, presumably just to show multiple guys were interested in you).

If you think ending up with either of them would have been “settling” then you’ve lost nothing and you’re better off moving on than stewing on it. Do you have a job, hobbies etc? Or could any of your friends introduce you to friends of their boyfriends?

You’re unlikely to find a boyfriend in a club, especially when you’re main focus is on keeping a tally of guys looking at you even when you’re not interested in them.

Planesmistakenforstars · 13/10/2025 07:32

Wainscot · 13/10/2025 06:43

I’ve just commented on your other thread. You seem hyper-focused on what the other person might be thinking, and not to be giving any thought to what you want. Did you like either Guy A or Guy B?

There is another thread? How many can there be for a non-event??

PurpleChrayn · 13/10/2025 07:33

This sounds like a letter sent to Just 17.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 13/10/2025 07:36

I think they both wanted to marry you. No way would a guy be shallow enough to try and pick up a woman just for sex.

GreyCarpet · 13/10/2025 07:37

Surely you know that lads hitting on, making eyes at, trying to cop off with women in clubs is a tale as old as time?

For clarity, I went out a few weeks ago and got hit on by a 28 year old man. I'm 51.

It's what men do.

User372849 · 13/10/2025 07:38

This is the third thread you've posted about shagging someone you just met and then being blindsided and utterly baffled that they've disappeared/blocked you.

Do you see a pattern here? I am not saying it's wrong to hook up but do it without any expectations that it is going to turn into the romance of the century.

The fact you've posted about this three times now and seem thoroughly confused about why is rather concerning.

mummydoris2006 · 13/10/2025 07:39

Planesmistakenforstars · 13/10/2025 07:32

There is another thread? How many can there be for a non-event??

The OP has 3 threads about the same thing, two are from today!
When they've been called out about it on the other thread they've said that, that post is their only one 🙄.
That thread title is "Am I delusional?", I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say yes the OP very much is delusional.

Didimum · 13/10/2025 07:40

Both guys seem like immature idiots. Move on.

IamnotSethRogan · 13/10/2025 07:42

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 05:59

He told me he’s been single for a year ?

Sometimes men do lie. I'm not saying he definitely did but it has been known to happen.