Weird encounter at the club

[Karlaken]

Little silly story but I like to always know the reasonings behind things

So me and my girlfriends went out to the club last night, we ended up at this one spot, she bumped into a guy she knew. This guy was with a group of others guys and he introduced us all. There was this one guy I’m going to call him guy A who was staring at me yet didn’t make a move.

Guy B was in the group as well, he tried to talk to my friend first and she curves him. He then started talking to me about random things and we clicked, he offered to buy me a drink and we exchanged socials. I was skeptical because I didn’t want to be a second option he told me he only talked to my friend first because I seemed uninterested, so he talks to people that talk to him. Okay understandable I brushed it off. Guy A had another friend come and apparoch me to ask for my number because he was to scared? Keep in mind they’re all in the same friend group ??

make along story short we all ended up going back to guys B house because he had a bar there. He takes me to his room while everyone is out front. We spend like a hour chatting he kept asking me where I’ve been all this time, how he’s never met anyone like me. You know most likely telling me what I want to hear…. He then asked me on a date, I told him that I would think about it, he asked why I had to think about it and why I couldn’t just give him an answer. He started kissing my neck, I jokingly told him no kisses and we headed back to where everyone is.

Guy A looked pissed and kept locking eyes with me once I came out. Me and my girls ended up leaving and I woke up to Guy b unfollowing me on social media? While all his other friends still kept me as a friend on social media ? Did he just want to hook up?

I NEVER SLEPT WITH THIS MAN. Where are y’all getting this from, I never said that.

Single for a year but hooking up with different women from the club every week.

All of the sex and none of the relationship!

I think you’re too focused on trying to work out what someone else is thinking. Who knows why he did what he did? Why does it matter? Is it you want to know if he fancied you? If he did/didn’t, why do you care? No one can say what he was thinking and your mind is just going to go into an endless loop of trying to work out the impossible.
I’ve seen your other post too and can see you really want intimacy but also refer to being bored. I think you need to focus on other areas of your life so you develop more of a sense of who you are and what you want. You don’t need to settle for anything. You could think about how to better build a career to give yourself financial security, to develop hobbies, to have plans/projects eg travel to see the world/learn a new skill. Meeting someone and having a partner isn’t an end goal as a relationship needs work and you still have to evolve as a person. You said that you feel time is running out as you are 25. But that’s really quite young. I didn’t meet my DH until I was in my 30s.

Slept with, hooking up, not sleeping with, whatever, I think people are looking at the bigger picture rather than focusing on the details which don’t amount to much and are just standard night out stuff. Think the point is for you to do the same ie forget about random vague encounters if you want a committed relationship.

You went to a man’s bedroom, of course he was interested in more! You then indicated you weren’t even sure about a date - so he pulled back. No mystery there

Gosh they are throwing themselves at you aren’t they!

Man A and man B were both interested in sex with you.

Neither man A or man B is interested in a relationship with you.

Move on.

THIS. They arent interested in you beyond sex.

Many men are like that in the clubs. I dont see what you find so "weird" about it, this is super common behaviour.

OP gently you sound very naive.

You went back to a guys house, went o to his bedroom and then didn’t want him to kiss you - he took you in there to have sex.

You and your friends were invited back for sex.

If you want a relationship, picking up someone from a club is not the way to go about it and it’s definitely not the way to go around the friend group.

I am not sure which guy you even like - it’s almost like it’s any of them that give you attention.
You should have chosen one that you like and spent time with him. If he didn’t like you back then you don’t move on to the next friend.
And you wonder why none of them have any respect for you.

If you’re serious about a relationship then look at online dating.
You will still get some idiots but you’ll do much better than trying to pick someone up in a club.

Guy A liked you but was shy.
Guy B wanted a shag.
Guy A thought you shagged guy B in his room.
Now Guy A will try to see if he can get a shag too.

Learn from women who are older and have been through this. Act as if you deserve more respect and you'll get it. But these guys are boys. Nowhere near wanting proper relationships.

Sounds like Guy B was after a hook up and a Guy A liked you, and assumed that’s what happened for an hour in the bedroom. Sounds like you’re not that into either of them. And were so drunk Guy B was on shaky territory consent-wise. So, was the right outcome.

25 is young and you should simply be enjoying yourself, including having (safe,) sex if that’s what you feel like doing. Plenty of time to find the right man. IME casual relationships when young teach you a lot about what kind of man is for you.

However, if you want to meet a potential partner, think about what kind of man you need: values, lifestyle etc. And hang out in places where a man like that is likely to be, which may not be in the sort of place you were in. Don’t choose someone who’s after you for your looks. They need to be aligned with your values and personality, as we don’t look the same forever or at 4am with a vomiting child. Times like that, someone with a good sense of humour, a strong constitution and team player is always more important that looks.

And people who value looks often get attracted to looks elsewhere.

Exactly this.

Do you think it’s because you keep second guessing them and wanting to know every reason why they do or say something? Try and decide what you want to do, and if you like a person just go for it and go with the flow a bit more. There is rarely a complex reason why people do this other than they just feel like it at the time.

Forget men and relationships. Work on yourself and on developing RL friendships with other women.

If you are looking for a relationship a club is not the best option. Sounds like guy A liked you but was shy B was looking for a one night stand and when you declined he lost interest. A probably assumed you slept with B when you disappeared to a bedroom for an hour.
Rather than obsessing over what they thought try to find someone with common interests or views that you like instead of waiting on a man approaching you for your looks 🙄

You’re only 25!!!!

Don’t settle for any old bloke that shows an interest just because everyone else seems to be settling. Know your worth.

Also, you’ll never really know what someone else is thinking, because even if they appear to tell you, it will only be a superficial version of the truth that they think will sound acceptable.

I had a few short and longer term relationships before I met DH in my late 30’s so for now, focus on having fun and working out what you want from life.

There was no reason at all to go into this blokes room with him

Yes, just as there’s no reason to contemplate going on the other guy’s business trip. Other people can suggest stuff, but that doesn’t mean you have to go along with it, especially if you are, as you sound, spectacularly naive and vulnerable.

Hardly weird - sounds like an average sort of night out when you’re a teen / early twenties.

There's nothing weird about this, or in your other thread. YOu're an overthinker. You're trying to find significance in things that most other people wouldn't even notice. You are ascribing all sorts of feelings and emotions in a look - the Whole Guy A stuff is completely irrelevent, and looking for deep thoughts where they aren't any. You knocked back Guy B, so he's not interested. It doesn't need to get deeper than that!

Just let stuff happen and stop driving yourself mad with What ifs.

Kindly, I would stop seeing people you meet in a club as potential for a future relationship. At 25, the men you are likely to meet will just want sex, and it sounds as though that is exactly what this man wanted and was just telling you what you wanted to hear to get you back into his bedroom. I would recommend using dating apps, dating events etc as you will hopefully then meet like minded people.

In contrast to others saying 'There's plenty of time!' I'd say not necessarily. For every woman that meets her husband in her 30s there is another woman (or maybe they're the same woman) who becrys her waning fertility. You're 25. Time to find someone, take it at a normal speed without having to worry about waning fertility. Marriage without having to rush into conceiving.

You're absolutely OK looking for men that are partnership material. But you're not going to find it in fuck boys in clubs.

Well I read this laughing thinking it was fake AI shit but apparently not. Then I thought it must be written by a 13 year old but apparently not...makes sense now its another post from this woman, the only one who is wierd here is you love.

Get a glass of water and go to bed.

I’m not really sure what your question is. You sound about 16 years old x