Weird encounter at the club

[Karlaken]

Little silly story but I like to always know the reasonings behind things

So me and my girlfriends went out to the club last night, we ended up at this one spot, she bumped into a guy she knew. This guy was with a group of others guys and he introduced us all. There was this one guy I’m going to call him guy A who was staring at me yet didn’t make a move.

Guy B was in the group as well, he tried to talk to my friend first and she curves him. He then started talking to me about random things and we clicked, he offered to buy me a drink and we exchanged socials. I was skeptical because I didn’t want to be a second option he told me he only talked to my friend first because I seemed uninterested, so he talks to people that talk to him. Okay understandable I brushed it off. Guy A had another friend come and apparoch me to ask for my number because he was to scared? Keep in mind they’re all in the same friend group ??

make along story short we all ended up going back to guys B house because he had a bar there. He takes me to his room while everyone is out front. We spend like a hour chatting he kept asking me where I’ve been all this time, how he’s never met anyone like me. You know most likely telling me what I want to hear…. He then asked me on a date, I told him that I would think about it, he asked why I had to think about it and why I couldn’t just give him an answer. He started kissing my neck, I jokingly told him no kisses and we headed back to where everyone is.

Guy A looked pissed and kept locking eyes with me once I came out. Me and my girls ended up leaving and I woke up to Guy b unfollowing me on social media? While all his other friends still kept me as a friend on social media ? Did he just want to hook up?

I LOVE these threads! Every once in a blue moon a faux wide eyed "innocent" female comes along for an ego boost and instantly gets told the facts by the no nonsense MN crew 😂

To jump on the bandwagon OP, I honestly can't believe you've started a thread (or 3 apparently!) about a complete non event of which neither of these blokes will give a second thought to.

Move on.

Well in that case he’s definitely long term single …

You tried to keep possibilities open with A and B, but have come away with nothing because B has cut contact and A thinks you hooked up with B.

B may have cut contact for any number of reasons: because he just wanted a hookup, because you were being weirdly coy, because he found out you gave your number to A, or many other reasons.

But who cares? You met him once.

If you want to meet someone for a relationship I wouldn’t pin my hopes on “the club”. Do you have a job or hobbies/interests where you can meet people?

B sounds like a creep with the 'where've you been all my life' schtick. A sounds like a child getting his friend to approach you. Neither were prospects for anything more than a fleeting ego boost. Do interesting activities for yourself and meet people who you have things in common with and build relationships from there. And have fun with guys in clubs in the meantime if you want, but I don't think you really want to or could handle the headgames of it on the basis of this.

What has happened here is:-
Guy A fancies you, has already sent a friend over to tell you this and ask for your number, so knows you know. He's pissed off that you have gone straight into guy Bs bedroom at the afters. Slap in the face for him.
Guy B is pissed off because you've been chatting all night, go straight to his bedroom but then switch, say you'd have to think about even going on a date and wouldn't kiss him. He obviously thinks youre not interested and has been a bit humiliated so no surprise he'd block you. A lot of mixed signals there. Why did you go into his bedroom with him even you wouldn't even consider kissing him or going for a drink?
In the whole of your posts you haven't mentioned once whether you liked these men, only that they fancied you. You're always going to have men that are attracted to you, that's not important, it happens all the time. You cant let yourself be led by that. You need to work out what and who YOU want.
Oh and 25 is so young, you have many years to find a partner to build a future with. Absolutely no need for you to be falling at the feet of anyone that shows you the slightest bit of attention!

I can take a pretty confident guess as to why you haven’t had a proper relationsship with a nice man, hopefully it helps you:

we all like to invest in things - it makes us feel they have value.

I know you’re only 25 and I know women can do what they want blah blah blah but realistically you can’t expect to be treated like a “Princess” (or whatever standard you want to call it) if you don’t behave like one.

you went back to random man’s house in the middle of the night from a club….

a) that’s dangerous

b) you’re 25, not 17, so you really are at the point you should start to recognise that’s dangerous

c) you’re looking for men in nightclubs

d) you accepted 2nd place even though you weren’t wanting to

e) the random men you went home with are the kind of men who invite girls they don’t know back to their house - these men are not the men you want to date ffs

f) you went into a room alone with a man who is sweeping around nightclubs approaching any woman until one bites - he was fishing. He was fishing, he thought you took the bait, then turns out you hadn’t. Luckily for you he let you out of that room with no hassle - you could’ve easily been in a situation where he didn’t and unblocking on social media would be the least of your worries.

g) you think people only want you for your looks - your looks will age and you’ll feel invisible if you base everything on your looks. Trust me I know and it’s a self esteem issue. If you didn’t have low self esteem you wouldn’t be asking this question or thinking so heavily about your looks. You didn’t even say ‘they just want sex’ - you made it a ME problem. They only want ME for my looks. They are the problem, not you. But you need to do the emotional work to understand why you don’t turn and run when you see red flags. If someone asks you on a date because of the way you look - run!

h) you are trying to figure out why some random was looking at you and got his friend to ask for your number - he’s a loser who doesn’t know how to approach girls OR he’s a guy who didn’t want to be on cctv talking to you… I’ll leave you to fill in the rest there but if a random stranger is glaring at you and jealous of his friend over some random club girl, there’s an issue.

i) you want to find a partner but you’re not valuing yourself - you might think you’re having fun but you’re actually putting yourself in dangerous situations and signalling to the world that you’re willing to accept lowlifes from the bar. Go nice places. Go to a place where nice men might be - then remember a lot of them are arseholes and keep your guard up until one proves HIS worth. Go to bed on time. Exercise. Stop drinking unless you’re at a sophisticated wine bar that is too expensive for you to get pissed. Don’t hang around dingy places if you don’t want dingy men.

j) look at whether your friends are postive or negative. Are they really friends? And are they living lives you’re aspiring to live? Or are they wreckheads? You don’t have to cut people off but search for more friends who are who you aspire to be.

I read it that everyone went back to the guy's house including all OP's girlfriends, one of whom knew the guy(s) already, so it's not such a dangerous thing to do and fine for a bunch of mid-20s people having a night out. Even going to the guy's room wasn't that risky if she was interested in him, how else is a girl to pull if that's what she wants? She decided she didn't want it and he took no for an answer so all's well, except for her over-thinking the unfollowing and drama of it. But I don't think she did anything particularly unwise. If she was 16 then yeah, but she's 25 and despite the overthinking, she seems to know her own mind enough to not give into random guys' patter after a few drinks.

He wanted a one-night stand, and when you brushed him off, he did likewise.

How old are you?

That’s a pretty pedantic response, is it typical? It was a hook up type of situation. You’re focused on working out exactly what he was thinking and don’t seem to overlook some of the more obvious possibilities. Do you have difficulty in other situations working out what people want and why?

I'm not trying to be critical here, more wondering if you are ND, perhaps?

By “it’s out of boredom” do you mean you’re thinking about this because you’re bored?

Don’t hang around dingy places if you don’t want dingy men

Yep, I mean ultimately it comes down to this. Nothing whatsoever wrong with clubbing - I spent literally every Fri and Sat night out at clubs in my youth, but I was under no illusions as to what the men there wanted when they approached me. It was obvious they just wanted sex. I went clubbing so often I'd see the same guys use the same chat up lines on different women practically every week.

If you want a serious relationship, then look in more serious places. You're mid 20s now, and clubbing into your 30s, getting smashed, and expecting to find something serious and meaningful in that kind of environment is a little bit well... sad/unrealistic.

Devonshiregal

Absolutely spot on!

I never did any sexual with guy B I know how it might have looked. Guy A follows me on social media and has been viewing my stories. I kinda want to reach out to guy A but I feel like that’s desperate. If he wanted to he would have right ?

I thought you weren’t interested in either of them anyway?

I was interested in guy A. Guy B wasn’t shy and was taking more charge.

I was interested in guy A. Guy B wasn’t shy and was taking more charge.

Forget about them both.

You again? Good grief.